problems, problems, problems

[bobinjeetinbobber]

About a month ago I confessed to my family that I had an eating disorder, and went and got help, and i've been just waiting now to get into an out patient facility. The problem is with my boyfriend. He says he doesn't care, and it doesn't change how he feels, if anything, he says it makes him care about me even more. It's been really hard the past few weeks, and I've been so moody and terribly depressed it's driving me nuts. I know he wants me to confide in him, but my problem is that I don't want to get him down, but mostly don't want to make him have to deal with this too, because it's just so difficult and frustrating. it's definately affecting our relationship, because I haven't really been that motivated to be nice, or be a girlfriend at all, really. I know it really gets him down, (even thought he'd never ever say it, but I can read him like a book) and I hate that. I'd love to confide in him, and let him be there for me, but instead I just push him away, and I know it makes him doubt how I feel about him. Would breaking up for awhile be counterproductive, or should I think seriously about it? I love him with all my heart, would miss him like crazy, and I know it'd really hurt him as well, but maybe it would be better for the time being? I don't know, maybe I need a shrink instead.

[Tony T]

You're really not in the mood now to go through all the details of how you feel with your boyfriend. That's normal. There is also a tiny part of you who is afraid he will reject you if you make too many disclosures. But right now things aren't working out anyway so you really have nothing to lose.

 

The hallmark of any relationship is communication. You have to take the risks necessary and, by all means, fill your boyfriend in completely. You don't have to be completely descriptive but just let him know how you feel and what you've been through. Frankly, I think he has a right to know if he's been kind enough to be there for you.

 

This experience will either make your relationship stronger or give it a vacation. Either way, that's fine. Relationships are for sharing...the good and the bad. If you get through this together, your relationship will be stronger and you will have the knowledge and security that you've got a guy who will stick by you no matter what.

 

I think the guy deserves more information than you are giving him. Sit him down and go through it with him...just the details you are comfortable with giving...enough to complete the story so he knows what you've been through and where your head is now. Let him know why you get in these moods.

 

I do hope you get better soon. Don't get away from treatment until you are totally recovered. I'm sure your boyfriend will be there for you, especially if you don't keep him in the dark.

[Artlover]

I agree with Tony's advice completely. I wish you the best of luck.

You're really not in the mood now to go through all the details of how you feel with your boyfriend. That's normal. There is also a tiny part of you who is afraid he will reject you if you make too many disclosures. But right now things aren't working out anyway so you really have nothing to lose. The hallmark of any relationship is communication. You have to take the risks necessary and, by all means, fill your boyfriend in completely. You don't have to be completely descriptive but just let him know how you feel and what you've been through. Frankly, I think he has a right to know if he's been kind enough to be there for you.

 

This experience will either make your relationship stronger or give it a vacation. Either way, that's fine. Relationships are for sharing...the good and the bad. If you get through this together, your relationship will be stronger and you will have the knowledge and security that you've got a guy who will stick by you no matter what. I think the guy deserves more information than you are giving him. Sit him down and go through it with him...just the details you are comfortable with giving...enough to complete the story so he knows what you've been through and where your head is now. Let him know why you get in these moods. I do hope you get better soon. Don't get away from treatment until you are totally recovered. I'm sure your boyfriend will be there for you, especially if you don't keep him in the dark.

 

[bobinjeetinbobber]

Wow, you're right on. I never even realized some of what you said, thanks alot, I know you're right. And I do know in the back of my mind that he'll be there for me through everything, even if some of what I say is a little scary. I know I'd do the same for him, so I guess it is only fair to let him in on what's going on.

 

You're really not in the mood now to go through all the details of how you feel with your boyfriend. That's normal. There is also a tiny part of you who is afraid he will reject you if you make too many disclosures. But right now things aren't working out anyway so you really have nothing to lose. The hallmark of any relationship is communication. You have to take the risks necessary and, by all means, fill your boyfriend in completely. You don't have to be completely descriptive but just let him know how you feel and what you've been through. Frankly, I think he has a right to know if he's been kind enough to be there for you.

 

This experience will either make your relationship stronger or give it a vacation. Either way, that's fine. Relationships are for sharing...the good and the bad. If you get through this together, your relationship will be stronger and you will have the knowledge and security that you've got a guy who will stick by you no matter what. I think the guy deserves more information than you are giving him. Sit him down and go through it with him...just the details you are comfortable with giving...enough to complete the story so he knows what you've been through and where your head is now. Let him know why you get in these moods. I do hope you get better soon. Don't get away from treatment until you are totally recovered. I'm sure your boyfriend will be there for you, especially if you don't keep him in the dark.