What could this mean?

[Randy]

my divorced gf n Ive been going around since 4 months. she made big promises of loving me and everything. when I asked her to marry me suddenly, she says that it is not very easy due to her kid and because men have to be very responsible. im prepared for all this . but her backtracking attitude is what makes me wonder. Did she take me only as a sexual break n not really serious?

[Tony T]

Just because somebody loves you doesn't mean they have to want to marry you...at least not for now.

 

A lot depends on how long this lady has been divorced. It takes time to get over those things. She also has to not only love you but see you as a competent father and provider. Because of her emotional state, she may have to be around you a lot more than four months to feel comfortable enough with you to marry you. Hell, even people who have never been married date two or three years sometimes before talking about marriage.

 

The fact that you had to post this problem here says there is poor communication between the two of you. That will make for a very poor marriage.

 

If you really want to marry her, don't be pushy but ask her once in a while what she is feeling. Find out if she feels she is over her divorce. Find out how she feels about getting married again...to anybody. Bring these topics up very sensitively and at the appropriate time.

 

You just didn't cover the preliminaries very well on this. There are many things you should have talked about with her ahead of time.

 

If your communication with her was excellent, you would have known exactly when to ask her to marry you and you would have known the answer in advance. That's the way it works with couples who are ready to get married.

 

And, yes, there's always the possibility you are just filling in some time for her but chances are excellent that if that's the case she is not aware that's what she's doing. You will find this out if you improve your communication skills.