NMolchan82 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Hey guys, this whole thing is new to me, I have been dating this guy for 3 months and things are already VERY VERY serious. My biggest problem with him is his insecurities (about me cheating on him) and his Ex Wife( who is his ex because she cheated). He and I have already talked about marriage but I am starting to pull away because I can't get over the fact that he has already been married once. Can anyone PLEASE help me!?!?!?!? Also, Some of my guy friends still call me and I don't want to talk to them because I am in a happy relationship. Last night, one of them called and started a HUGE fight between my bf and I (Im talking HUGE) How can I get him to trust me and understand that I have NEVER CHEATED on anyone and I don't plan on starting. It seem like I am jealous of his ex. PLEASE HELP ME! ! ! ! ! Nicole Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Why are you so concerned with his ex-wife? Do you have a reason to feel that way? And how do you know for certain she cheated on him? That could just be his story. What was his part in the breakdown of the marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NMolchan82 Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Well, I don't know why she bothers me so much. And as far as her cheating, that's what he, his mom and dad and a few of his friends have said. Technically, I don't know for sure that she cheated but the way his insecurities are, it all seems valid. I just feel inadequate compared to her. When he and I first got together, I saw some pictures of him and his ex on their wedding day. I know it's all really dumb but I can't get over her. She was really pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Do they have any children together? Does he still talk to her? If that's not the case, then you really have nothing to worry about, because there isn't much that binds them together. Unless you're feeling that there's something he's not telling you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NMolchan82 Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 :oThere are no children on either side. And he doesn't still talk to her (only cause he changed his #) I know this is all totally stupid but I just feel like if/when he and I get married, it won't be as special because he has already said vows to someone and was married. I don't feel like it will be as special. I've talked to him about a million times, and I totally understand that it isn't his fault that he's divorced. I am just having a hard time dealing and I DON'T KNOW WHY! When he and I first got together (before he changed his #) he and I went out. About a week later his ex wife called him and said that she heard he had a new gf. I guess she or one of her friends saw us out. She was all inquizative about me. Why should she care. I don't know why it bothers me so much and I am afraid it is going to put a hurt on our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 If she was so special to him, he'd still be with her and as far as subsequent marriages not being as speical as the first, take it from someone who has been married more than once - the next time you take the plunge is usually with someone who means enough to you to take that chance again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NMolchan82 Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 Thanks, you're totally right! I wish I knew how to forget about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 It's hard. I understand. How old are you?? My husband was married before and so was I. He was cheated on and I was the one who cheated. So, we both have lots of issues in the past that could trip us up. We just don't let it. We try to focus on the future and working towards the fact that we know each of us have a past but that there is nothing either of us could have done to help that. We both have kids with the ex's so that makes it harder. Just try to focus on the fact that he is with you and not with her. Sounds like he doesn't even want to talk to her either! Three months together is a little soon to focus on a marriage between you two but rest assured it can be just as special for him the second time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NMolchan82 Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 I'm 23 and he's 28. He doesn't want to talk to her. For some reason, I still dwell on how pretty she is, he says Im alot prettier. I just need to forget about her and focus on our future like you said. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Don't mention her to him. You're what matters now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NMolchan82 Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 The insecurities are coming back!! Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts