I forgot my daughter's show!!!

[Lonestar]

OMG, she's with her father this weekend and she told me before she left in the middle of the week that she had a show Friday night at school. I completely forgot about it until just now. She was probably looking for me. What if she was hurt that I wasn't here. I would be crushed if both my parents didn't show up for something. OMG, I can't even call her now. It's too late. I was home last night too, cleaning my house and I FORGOT!! What do I do? How do I make this up to her? I feel like such a f*ck up as a parent right now.

[My_Other_I]

OMG, she's with her father this weekend and she told me before she left in the middle of the week that she had a show Friday night at school. I completely forgot about it until just now. She was probably looking for me. What if she was hurt that I wasn't here. I would be crushed if both my parents didn't show up for something. OMG, I can't even call her now. It's too late. I was home last night too, cleaning my house and I FORGOT!! What do I do? How do I make this up to her? I feel like such a f*ck up as a parent right now.

That sucks. Well, what can you do. Apologize, explain, make sure she doesn't take it personally, and take her for gigantic ice-cream spree

[Art_Critic]

Don't freak out too much Lonestar.. Call her in the morning and tell her you are sorry..

 

The fact that she is with her Dad this weekend should change the expectations of her some..

 

Relax....... Kids are more resilient to this kinda of stuff that we think.. if only we were..

[Lonestar]

If I were her, ice cream wouldn't make up for my mom forgetting me. I'm so upset right now, I'm in tears.

[My_Other_I]

If I were her, ice cream wouldn't make up for my mom forgetting me. I'm so upset right now, I'm in tears.

Ice cream = mom time.

[Art_Critic]

Why not try and call her now ? She may be up.. she is with her Dad afterall

[Lonestar]

Don't freak out too much Lonestar.. Call her in the morning and tell her you are sorry..

 

The fact that she is with her Dad this weekend should change the expectations of her some..

 

Relax....... Kids are more resilient to this kinda of stuff that we think.. if only we were..

 

Art, all I can remember right now is when I graduated college and my parents didn't come. They hated me, but I invited them anyway. I remember standing on my chair looking for them in the crowd, and they weren't here. I'll never forget that feeling and now I've done it to my daughter.

[My_Other_I]

I forgot to ask you, if she was really upset wouldn't have she called you?

[Lonestar]

Why not try and call her now ? She may be up.. she is with her Dad afterall

 

She's 9. She's asleep and her father is probably loving this.

[Lonestar]

I forgot to ask you, if she was really upset wouldn't have she called you?

 

Because she might be mad, and her father may be encouraging her not to. We hate each other. I'll call her in the morning, but I'm going to be a mess until I pick her up Monday.

[Art_Critic]

Cut yourself some slack .. Starting right now..

 

You are a good Mom.. in Fact a great Mom.. Just talk with her about it tommorrow.. it will be okay...

[cal gal]

If I were her, ice cream wouldn't make up for my mom forgetting me. I'm so upset right now, I'm in tears.

 

OMG Lonestar-

I'm so sorry as you must be feeling just terrible. The only way to make it right is to be honest with her.

 

It really can be turned into a life lesson to teach her.... such as:

 

My goodness honey Mommy is so sorry she overlooked your gathering. I was so much looking forward to it and it completely left my mind. There is no excuse for my forgetfulness, as I was looking forward to your gathering. You see honey, even adults make mistakes at times. Would you help me next time - if you are wth Daddy, would you call to remind me because I would like nothing better than to see you. Big kisses after that!!!!!!!

 

It doesn't hurt a child to realise that we are human, make mistakes, but also try to apologize and rectify the error. They can learn from this and hopefully do the same as they grow up. Alot of smoooootches helps kids along the way.

[Lonestar]

Thanks cal gal. I plan on apologizing profusely in the morning, but right now I feel like the biggest parental screw up on the planet. I forget a lot of things these days and I usually write myself notes to remember things. I should have written a note and put in on my refrigerator. I thought of it at the time, but told myself I didn't need to because I wouldn't forget my daughter. f*cking idiot I am right now

[hooghie]

Sorry LS. You are obviously very very upset about it. She is lucky to have a mom who cares so much. There will be many more funcitons/shows/etc., that you WILL go to in her lifetime so try not to beat yourself up about it.

Can you tell her you were sick or that something came up? I'm sure you don't want to lie about it to her, but she is young and may not understand that sometimes even though adults love their children, they have so much on their minds that they may forget something.

 

Again, you are obviously an awesome mom- try not to be too upset about this

[cal gal]

Thanks cal gal. I plan on apologizing profusely in the morning, but right now I feel like the biggest parental screw up on the planet. I forget a lot of things these days and I usually write myself notes to remember things. I should have written a note and put in on my refrigerator. I thought of it at the time, but told myself I didn't need to because I wouldn't forget my daughter. f*cking idiot I am right now

 

 

Lonestar-

 

Stop beating yourself up over something you can't change!

 

Every parent makes mistakes, it is just a matter of whether or not they try to make things better or right after the error.

 

When she is a parent someday and comes crying to you that she f*cked up, you will have some things and thoughts to share with her that it is not the end of the world.

 

Do not try to buy her off with material things because you made a mistake! Just try to have her understand that it really was important for you and wanting to be there and everyone makes mistakes. Maybe she can come up with a few ideas about reminding you when she is not with you.

 

She could write you a love note to put next to the sink, perhaps?

[cal gal]

Sorry LS. You are obviously very very upset about it. She is lucky to have a mom who cares so much. There will be many more funcitons/shows/etc., that you WILL go to in her lifetime so try not to beat yourself up about it.

Can you tell her you were sick or that something came up? I'm sure you don't want to lie about it to her, but she is young and may not understand that sometimes even though adults love their children, they have so much on their minds that they may forget something.

 

Again, you are obviously an awesome mom- try not to be too upset about this

 

I would NEVER recommend lying to her about anything!

 

Your own children see every little expression on your face and a lie will show.

 

She would appreciate the truth much more, remember - LIFE LESSONS are good, this is one of those between the two of you....

[witabix]

Lonestar, I can only imagine how bad you feel right now.

 

I hadn't spoken to my son or daughter in ten years, until the end of last year.

 

When we met, after all that time, there was no bad feelings. I made it up with them as best as I could with total honesty. They are coming to spend Easter with me this year, it is never ever as bad as it seems.

 

I had not forgotten one night, it was ten years of silence, since he was a little boy and she was a teenager, he was only a little older than your daughter.

 

Make it up to her and tell her how bad you feel, she will understand, I guarentee it.

 

Give her a big hug, and some ice cream, it can't hurt.

[hooghie]

I would NEVER recommend lying to her about anything!

 

Your own children see every little expression on your face and a lie will show.

 

She would appreciate the truth much more, remember - LIFE LESSONS are good, this is one of those between the two of you....

 

You are probably right. I don't have any children, but as I htink about it- I'd rather my mom tell me the truth. I wrote too quickly- thinking a little lie may help the pain her 9 year old might feel, but having thought about it more- NOT a good idea.

[cal gal]

You are probably right. I don't have any children, but as I htink about it- I'd rather my mom tell me the truth. I wrote too quickly- thinking a little lie may help the pain her 9 year old might feel, but having thought about it more- NOT a good idea.

 

hooghie,

I wasn't trying to make you feel badly, just my gut jumping in as an instinctual recommendation for the best interest of the parent/child relationship.

 

XO

[Lonestar]

Thanks hooghie and cg. No, I'm not going to lie. I'd rather be honest with her and let her know how much I'm hurting that I forgot. This back and forth between my house and her fathers is not only confusing for her, but for me too. They all remembered because they had to drive her there. I'm going to bed now and I'll update what happened in the morning after I call her. thanks again everyone.

 

witibix, thanks for replying. I know you're going through your own crap tonight. Let's both sleep on it, eh?

[seven]

Hey Lonestar, you wouldn't be so upset if you weren't a great mom. No one is perfect (and if they are, they would be highly annoying to be around! lol). Sounds like you may be relating your feelings of when your parents weren't there for you to you not being at your daughter's function, but they are two different things. Understandable that you would relate them, but it sounds like you and your daughter have a much closer relationship than you and your parents did, so it most likely isn't affecting your daughter as much as it did you is all I'm trying to say [and I'm sure your concern over your ex-h's reaction (or what you think his reaction was) isn't helping]. Anyhow, something tells me you and your daughter will be fine after you talk. And p.s. -- those magnetized (sp?) refrigerator calendars help me keep track of multiple goings on [when I remember to record them that is! ]

[johan]

I HATE feeling like you feel.

 

Maybe you need to think about why you forgot. People never forget things they really care about. If you were excited about it, you would have been thinking about it a lot and you would have planned your time around it.

 

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but I do think it's worth trying to think about why it wasn't on your mind at all.

[Lonestar]

I spent a week online searching for the right costume for this show. I knew I didn't have the time to make it for her, so I found her the perfect one. I wanted her to be proud and happy. I bought it in December, but a night had yet to be specified for the show, and I only had a few days notice this week of the date, which I failed to write down at the time. I thought I would remember.

 

When my girls go away, it is very painful for me. I will not go into the specifics of what happened in my last divorce, but I still suffer from the pain and PTSD of how it ended. I've learned to deal with being parted from my children by shutting down my feelings and not thinking about how much I miss them. At times I make myself so busy that I don't think about anything except the task at hand, and that is how I forgot.

 

I was in loads of pain last night because I always want to be there for my daughter and the things she does are high on my interest list. I feel your reply was rotten and you kicked me when I was down. I usually don't post things on LS that are very personal to me, but I had hoped there were other parents here who could help me see that I made a mistake and it would be okay. I'll certainly watch what I post here in the future

 

For those that care, I apologized to my daughter this morning and she's perfectly fine. She said it was no big deal and that she loves me.

[My_Other_I]

 

 

 

For those that care, I apologized to my daughter this morning and she's perfectly fine. She said it was no big deal and that she loves me.

 

 

YAY!

Feeling better now?

[whichwayisup]

Tell her how sorry you are, and how hurt she must have felt. SYMPATHIZE with her and tell her you let her down by accident and that you're so sorry. Then tell her you love her and it won't ever happen again. Hugs and kisses...

 

Kids bounce back from stuff like this quickly.

 

I know you're probably beating up on yourself, so don't. It was a mistake, so please forgive yourself. You're a great mom!! Remember that! And that your daughter loves you!