fooled Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 She called last night 5 times between 2 & 3AM. 4 times to my home line and once to my cell. I didn't hear my home phone, but did my cell and figured it was a drunk buddy of mine who calls incoherent occasionally - so I decided to not get out of bed and answer. OK. Given the time of the calls - she obviously just got home from a bar/event drunk and was horny. Maybe had a fight with her guy. Who knows. She left one message, which was a sad: "Please call me when you get this - I really need to talk to you - I understand if you don't - but it would be really.....nice if you did." First, I'm pissed off I listened to the message. Second, I'm pissed that I had an okay day yesterday and now I have to revisit all the bad sh*t to help me not call back. Third, I'm just pissed that she called when she did. I'M NOBODY'S F*ING "B' GAME (thanks, No Foolin)!!! I've got work to get done today and now this is on my mind. How does it help me if I call back? It doesn't. Still it's on my mind. Just had to vent. Link to post Share on other sites
My_Other_I Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Don't call. It will make you feel worse. She's probably already changed her mind already anyway. She was feeling sentimental while drunk (probably didn't get enough attention from guys in bars) and needed some loving from the 'fool' who's heart she broke. Let it be. Try to be on top of the game. You not calling will show her that you don't give rats about someone who has little or no respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
No Foolin Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 You keep doin what yer doin, YOU GIVE HER NOTHING!!!!! Let her eat static. Doin fine brother. No Foolin Link to post Share on other sites
Mariella43 Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 What is it with Saturday nights? Same thing happened to me last night. My ex called my house 3 times (I saw caller ID and just let it ring). Then he tries my cell phone - it went to voicemail and he didn't leave a message. This was 10:00 p.m. THEN 40 minutes later I see his truck drive by my house and pull up in the front, then in the back. I had all my lights turned off because I knew he might show up. He sat in his truck for a few minutes then left. This jerk off broke up with me 8 months ago. Never heard a word from him (he was pushing marriage and committment and I wasn't ready so he dumped me) for the first 6 months then I sent him a Xmas card - plain - no big deal, he emails me the day after Xmas asking me how I was doing - I emailed "fine" back and left it at that. No other communication. Then suddenly out of the blue last night he starts calling and showing up. Lack of respect - I am not a late night booty call. And I went thru alot trying to get over him - he hurt me deeply. I've always missed him and many times wished he call - now that he has - I just feel angry. When we'd have fights he'd ignore me and not answer his phone and pull the silent treatment. It's now time for payback - he can see how it feels. So far today he hasn't called. How dare he think he can just pop back into my life and much less show up at my house? That's what really pissed me off - the driving by and scoping out my house. What should I do - totally ignore him? Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I'm confused here fooled, are you trying to heal by practicing NC or is the door still open in this relationship? Uh, because not blocking her #.. seems like you are inviting her to treat you like a " F*ING "B' GAME". Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 In Sync... you have to pay to get call block. At least around here you do. Fooled, I'm sorry. Gosh, how manipulative of her. I'm so proud of you that you didn't fall for the bait. Stay really strong...you're doing so good! Ironically, last night I had a dream that my phone was ringing and I was laying in bed...didn't feel like getting up, so I let the machine get it. I dreamt that I heard his voice on the machine and he was telling me what a big mistake he made and would I please call him back. I leaped out of bed (at this time fully awake)...ran to the phone and heard nothing. Checked the caller ID, and nothing. Then I started to sob because I realized it was my own mind playing horrible games with me. Link to post Share on other sites
greenshift Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 You deserve better. As hard as it may be to convince yourself of that, especially with all of the doubts about yourself that this situation has created (mine run like: What if I was taller? A better dresser? Made more money? What if I had done X, Y or Z that she really wanted me to do, thing whose importance I really had no idea about?) Instead, I ask myself: What if she was nicer? What if she had talked about our problems instead of screwing another guy for months on end behind my back, and doing her best to make ME be the one that had to do EVERYTHING to try and fix our marriage? What if she were honest, and caring, and treated ME the way I treated HER when I loved her and thought I was going to los her? What if she had tried 10% as hard as I did, at the end? I'm no saint. But I TRIED. (Now I will stop coopting your thread, and get back to...) Best thing I've come up with: imagine you're the woman, and she's the man. Do you know any woman who would put up with half the crap that you have? Hopefully not. And you know why? they deserve better Okay, rant disengaged. Talk amongst yourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 In Sync, you have to pay to call block here too, but I never actually expected her to call. And since I'm not calling back - I doubt her ego will allow her to call again since her "sure thing" didn't come running. Anyway - I doubt she even remembers she called me. We'd have conversations when she was smashed that she didn't recall in the morning. I was pissed for a while, but I calmed down. Thanks for the support! Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Hang in there fooled. I fear I will be where you are in a while. Just reading greenshift's post should help. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue in Texas Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Fooled. I too have been reading your posts. You seem to have gained a great deal of strength over the past few weeks. Not calling back is such a boost to self-esteem and healing. Posts like this stiffen the resolve of all of us fighting through NC. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 In Sync, you have to pay to call block here too, but I never actually expected her to call. And since I'm not calling back - I doubt her ego will allow her to call again since her "sure thing" didn't come running. Anyway - I doubt she even remembers she called me. We'd have conversations when she was smashed that she didn't recall in the morning. I was pissed for a while, but I calmed down. Thanks for the support! I'm sorry ...the suggestion about blocking a call, I've seen mention throughout a variety of threads, I lay no claim as it to be an original concept, I mentioned it because I've seen it in regards to maintaining NC (especially useful for the occasion of calls from ex's that could disrupt your harmony and healing), so I don't think I was out of line for bringing it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 Yeah - I've seen it too. I just never thought it would be an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Hang in there, Fooled. Remember what she did to you and ask yourself why she deserves even a second of your time. She doesn't. Don't give in or I will personally come to your house and bonk you on the head with a rubber hammer! Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 I was shaken a little, but I'm actually okay now, since I know exactly what the call was - pathetic and representative of who and what she is. I'm still sad, things still trigger the bad memories mostly - the good memories not so often - but overall I'd say I'm okay. I don't ache for her anymore like I did 3 weeks ago. Certainly if I saw her now it would strike a nerve - but as long as I can keep her out of sight - she can stay relatively out of mind. There are times when I don't think about her at all now. But I still have dreams and nightmares about her. But I'm not the wreck I was a month ago. And I don't see myself dating for months - and maybe not until the end of the year. I suppose my spark just hasn't been re-lit yet. Link to post Share on other sites
bendit Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Blocking their numbers is often necessary if you feel particularly vulnerable to an abusive ex. If they are preventing you from moving on because they lack empathy or are selfish, its a perfectly viable option. That's because we can be worn down by their persistence and even when we know its wrong, we can be dragged back into it simply because of the temptation and curiosity. For those with very strong addictions to the EX, blocking is almost an essential ingredient to recovery. kind regards Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Like I said, I doubt she'll attempt that again, knowing that I am unreceptive to her now. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Like I said, I doubt she'll attempt that again, knowing that I am unreceptive to her now. *readies rubber hammer* Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Haha! DUDE! I am NOT going to contact her! I don't want her in my life. I'm far from over her - but I know what I want and don't want. And I don't want the person she is. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Haha! DUDE! I am NOT going to contact her! I don't want her in my life. I'm far from over her - but I know what I want and don't want. And I don't want the person she is. Good man, same here with my ex. Now it's my birthday and I have no date tonight. I guess I should start scrambling! haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Happy Birthday!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Heh thanks Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Yea Happy Birthday Cali_Guy. Good to hear you got over that hurdle fooled. I have been leaving my phone at home the last few days.... a bit drastic for me.. I may lose out on work/gigs, but its probably worth it. I don't want to get dragged back into it. My friends have been supportive, I was talking to a friend last night. In a really quiet bar, early in the evening. Word travels fast here, I got hit on, by a young attractive woman I know. She said, "You're in trouble now.... I just heard you are single again". Flattering indeed. But I need time to get my head straight. Still I was tempted, don't want to use someone to ease my own pain though, that wouldn't be fair would it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Wit - that is light at the end of the tunnel! I bet that incident just accelerated your healing! Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Yes fooled, I was talking to my daughter about it, she said something similar. I just got a nice text message from this woman, it really helps. Big ego boost, she is much younger than I am, has known me for several years, and was really sweet to me. Guys hit on her the whole time, but I never have, just talked and stuff. Maybe, in a few months, a FWB??? Don't know yet. But it helps to get out and mingle again, I hope you are doing the same thing, get out there and remake your life in the image you want it to be. You are much younger than I, don't waste it fooled. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 I've been getting out occasionally. Twice a week maybe. Have a friend over maybe twice a week. I have several obligations that prevent me from leaving the computer much. And since I don't drink anymore - I just don't want to go to a bar. I also doubt I am that much younger than you! Link to post Share on other sites
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