jonny87 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I'm not sure if this really belongs in this forum, but here goes. The background on all of this is here in case you want to read it. But, here's the shortened version. Flirted back and forth with this girl at work for two years. Let's call her Sara. She broke up with her boyfriend and we tried to start dating back in August. It didn't work out. I never really got over it completely, but she did and started dating someone else. Fast forward a few months and I decide that I want to ask out another friend from work. We'll call her Lisa. Well, we are all three friends so it feels kind of awkward. For one thing, I wasn't sure if she was single or not. So, I talk to Sara about it. She tells me that, yes, Lisa is single. So, I ask her out. Unfortunately, she misunderstood me and thought I was asking her on, like, a group date. So she invites Sara and some other people. Sara tells me about this and she informs Lisa that, no, I meant is as a date for just the two of us. Anyway, we go out and for some reason it feels like Lisa doesn't really want to be there. That was probably just my pessimistic nature though. Because of that, I was kind of uncomfortable around her the next few days at work, and I didn't really talk to her much. A few days later this guy that another girl at work was trying to set Lisa up with comes by and asks her out. The worst part about it was that Lisa asked me for a pen to write her number down to give to the guy. *ouch* I then send Lisa a STUPID e-mail saying that I didn't realize that she was seeing someone and that I was sorry if she felt guilted into going out with me. Needless to say, things pretty much ended after that. She's still dating this guy and that's all I know. Well, after all this, I thought that I still had feelings for Sara. Maybe I did/do maybe I didn't/don't. I was, and still am, very confused. So, I send ANOTHER stupid e-mail to Lisa saying that I still had feelings for Sara. She didn't respond. Now I've found out that Lisa said to another friend that I was still hot for Sara and that she (Lisa) wouldn't be second to anyone. I'm not really sure what this means. I was under the impression that Lisa didn't want to pursue anything with me, so why would she say that? Why would it matter? I had told her that if she just wanted to be friends that it would be fine with me. No hard feelings. The thing is, and this makes me sound like a complete idiot, I don't really feel the same way about Sara as I used to. I mean, she's dated a few other guys since me and she has already said countless times that there's no chance for us. And truthfully, I'm kind of glad. Because I feel a lot of resentment towards her still. BUT, I still really like Lisa. We're still (as far as I know) real friendly to each other. She's always really nice when we see each other, and in her e-mails. Except for the last e-mail. It was very, um, business-like. Not very friendly, but not to say it was mean or anything. Just, straight and to the point. I'm not really sure what I'm asking for here though. Just some input I guess. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Mariella43 Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Don't be so hard on yourself - just back off both of those girls and stop trying to date coworkers - it's not wise to date anyone you work with. Don't come across apologetic and needy - just give them both space and let them to come you (if they're interested). Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonny87 Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Thanks. Thankfully I don't work with either one of them anymore. And I've definitely made it a point to back off. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 If I was a betting woman, I would bet that Lisa was already feeling pretty uncomfortable, to begin with, about being asked out on a 'date' (?) with someone who's ex was also going to be present on the date, and besides the fact that the ex (Sara) was also a friend of Lisa's, as well. Hmmmmm. (Smile) Man, do you have balls! I consider myself a gracious woman, but I do not think there is enough grace in me to have smiled all through the evening looking across the table at my date, -and his recently departed ex girlfriend. Maybe it's just because I am older and cannot grasp the concept of such a 'group date', although I thought, up until now, that I was very open-minded. Also, despite my now exposed, Victorian ideals, (Smile), -which by the way came as a total surprise to me, too- I do want to point out the one thing I am certain about: it's always best never to begin dating from work. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonny87 Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Well first of all, me and Sara were never really a couple. And second of all, Lisa was the one that invited her. Link to post Share on other sites
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