"Men"tal timeline -- this is a little silly.

[isis]

Hello! I'm new to this site and am enjoying reading the threads.

 

My question is this -- (well, brief explanation first, then question)

 

I've been dating bf for awhile...he's 37, I'm 33...very serious relationship, strong, loving. We've talked about most/all the things I think need to be discussed before marriage...children, religion, finances, jobs, how to give and receive emotional support, family expectations, goals, dreams, what our expectations of marriage are, that marriage is the "next step" for us, on and on. We haven't come out and SAID we're getting married, but that's really the only phrase we haven't used. He likes to surprise me with things and he's kinda formal that way -- he won't use a phrase "when we get married" but he will use every other kind of language to indicate a life together.

 

Dear BF is dropping lotsa hints about proposing (he does like to surprise me, but he's awfully bad at keeping secrets!)...and I know he's been looking at rings online and making a spreadsheet (he's "adorkable" as I like to call it) of sizes and prices. (No I wasn't snooping...he's very sloppy about closing windows on his computer...and fortunately I have a good poker face)

 

I know he will eventually do this, so I'm not crazy anxious...but I'm human and of course would like for it to be sooner than later. My calm comes from knowing it WILL happen and it SHOULD happen...

 

So my question -- once men (or gals, if they propose) get it in their heads to start looking at and seriously calculating costs of rings and poking around about "the future" and getting all gooey (more so than usual) is there a "time frame?" Days? Weeks? Months?

 

Also, since I'm on this silly little questioning thing -- in your experiences (and I know you are not speaking from anything other than your own experiences) do the people who propose prefer the BIG MOMENT/PLACE (i.e. he and I are going on a tropical vacation next month for our one year anniversary) or not-as-significant times/places?

 

I hope this makes sense. I'm just so happy because well, I am just happy knowing he's at this step. And I would never push him (ok, never say never) but I can enjoy the wait if I have a sense of time. Sort of. Even though his mileage may vary.

Thanks!

[Curmudgeon]

I'm decidedly not a good example.

 

I proposed to my wife two weeks after our first date and we were married six weeks later. That was going on 10 years ago and we're still going strong.

 

I should add that we were former coworkers and had been friends for five years. Also, I was 50 and she was 48 so time seemed of the essence.

 

I'd give it six months!

[penkitten]

in my lifetime i have seen some guys have to live with someone for 2 or 3 years before they can propose and i have seen some guys propose in six months of dating and some guys do it on the second date.

it depends on the couple .

if everything is going great, just let it flow and be whatever it is.

if it is god willing for you to be married, it will happen when it happens.

if he is trying to figure it all out, then you know hes already serious about it.

you dont even have to mention it, but you can already be thinking of things you want to do. checking out deals, that kind of thing.

[magda]

.and I know he's been looking at rings online and making a spreadsheet (he's "adorkable" as I like to call it) of sizes and prices.

That's too cute. Let him surprise you..

[isis]

So yesterday we were wandering around the mall and he dragged me over to the window of a jewelry store. They had big engagement ring posters. "Pretty, huh?" He asked. I agreed, noting the ad they were showing was for those "eternity" rings (the ones with the chips all around). "What's an eternity ring symbolize?" he asked. (I believe he was trying to be funny.) But I just choose to take this as he is beginning to drop very very strong hints.

 

Another hint -- he was joking around about my feet (long story) and I said, "Well, they're yours, too, in a way." He said he was "leasing with an option to buy." (And no, he's not a pig, nor would he ever, EVER imply he would "own" me...he just has an odd sense of humor. I wish I could describe his tone better.

 

And finally, when I was putting on a ring I'd taken off on my right hand, he asked me if I was right handed, which is an awfully odd question considering how long we've been together.

 

Is there a "thing" about fitting a ring on the same finger on a different hand?

 

I know this is just silly stuff, but I'm just so giddy right now. No matter what happens.

 

Am I taking "giddy" too far or are these signs of sooner-rather-than-later proposal?

 

Thanks for indulging me!

Jas