Ronnie Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 I always quarrel with by bf by some trivial matters, how can I please him and what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnie Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 I really don't like such hard feeling. I don't know what my bf thinks, but I really feel very uspet. Sometimes, I don't know why he likes this, is it I think too much ? Or I have to lower down the standard? I always quarrel with by bf by some trivial matters, how can I please him and what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 hi ronnie, who is it that "starts" these quarrels so to speak? if it is you, then you need to try and find a reason why it is you find yourself getting aggravated by such trivial matters. are you happy with your boyfriend? are you looking for a way out of the relationship by creating trivial arguments? is there something about him that really gets under your skin? are you insecure and feel the need to bite back over nothing? i'm not trying to put words into your mouth....only you can know if there are any reasons for this behaviour. if it is your boyfriend who usually starts the nitpicking, then you really shouldn't have to help him. in fact, a person generally cannot be helped unless they decide help themselves. when people get argumentative over trivial things, there is usually something else underlying this kind of behaviour. if i were in your shoes, i would come straight out and ask, "are you happy with me...and don't be afraid to be honest". i once had a boyfriend who would DELIBERATELY TRY to pick fights with me over trivial issues, because he didn't have the guts to say he wanted out of the relationship. but of course, that was only my situation, and it may not be the case for your boyfriend. when you approach him, you may have to be careful to not sound as though you are attacking him. you probably feel like saying, "is there a reason you always get so defensive and argue trivial things?". instead, try saying, "*WE* always seem to argue over trivial things....are you happy with this relationship? is there something you want to talk about?". a person can only put up with a certain amount of nit-picking with another person. not to mention, there is always the possiblity that one of you is not happy unless there is a drama over something. don't laugh....there are people who are actually like this and are not capable of productive, healthy relationships. ultimately, it's your call. do you really want to stay with a guy who behaves like this? unless you're a sucker for another persons crap, i sincerely doubt it. best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
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