CoffeeHouseHumor Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 So here's my neverending rant! Once a cheater always a cheater? My "Girlfriend" of 1 year 7 months and 20 days have been broken up for about a month now after one of those late night phone fights. I hate fighting and all but I feel like i'm the only one in the relationship. We're not going out but we practically are since we do everything we did when we were together (from spending almost every moment together to still having sex) yet it's not official. When things go wrong I tell her that we need to be go on a break and I let her know that I just need some time apart from her since I spend all my energy serving her hand and foot. I'm 18 years old and she's 17. I'm currently in college and she's still in high school. Although she lives 3 blocks away from her highschool, I drive 5 miles to her house almost every morning to take her to school. After school i'm there an hour early to get a good parking spot out in front of the high school to pick her up. I know i'm spending too much time with her and have practically given her a throne to sit upon.... but I guess I don't really mind doing that stuff since I Love her. My community college is just down the street from the high school (i'm leaving for Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara in march) Our last break consisted of her "kissing" another guy the day after we went on a break. I never agreed on breaking up with her, just spending time away from her.... yet she thinks being on a break gives you the freedom to do as you want.... she's cheated on me in the past 3 times all withing the first 2 months of dating... is it just me or something? cause as far as I knew, going on a break and breaking up are two totally different things. After she had her fling with her co-worker at his house (in his room) the day after we were on a break, we got back to my house and started talking. she explained to me that she had kissed her coworker, thinking that I didn't wanna be with her anymore when that same day, I took her to school...and spent the day with her after work...all the while telling her how much I loved her.... I went to a concert that night with a few friends thinking nothing would happen...she couldn't come with me because she had an hour meeting for work that night... as i was at the concert she said she was haning out with her coworker at his house..and i was cool with it and said for her to have fun...and that i loved her.... The day she told me she kissed her coworker, we were in my room. I immediately ran out of my own house and left...... i turned around a few minutes later because i cared about her and wanted to talk.... i just wanted to get away from that situation like the many times she's cheated on me... i went back and explained to her that i was mad... still wanted to be with her... but i just wanted some time now to think... the next night she goes and stays out till 3am with the guy... yet she still wants to be with me? she told me she did stuff with him that night...am i that much of a loser to be replaced by some kid that has friggen tattoos of blink 182 and coheed and cambria all over his body...wtf? I can't sleep at night...and this has been bothering me for months... this whole relationship has been shaky from the start but i'm just so attatched... i don't know why i'm so afraid of leaving her... we've spent so much time together and I want her to always be safe... i always want to be there to protect her... the story goes deeper than this...but this is all i have for now... so really...what are the differences between going on a "break" and "breaking up"? --CFH Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 so really...what are the differences between going on a "break" and "breaking up"? --CFH A break is like going into work on your day off. You don't have any obligations, you don't have to follow the rules, and you can goof off and do whatever you like with the luxury of knowing you can come right back and clock in the next day. A breakup would be like going into work, quitting your job and walking away without looking back. The person initiating the break always has the advantage. They get to abuse every single relationship rule and boundary, and know that you will be waiting right there when they decide to come back. Its unfortunate that you can't find the strength to break away from this girl. It sounds agonizing and it sounds like she won't do any improving any time soon. The best thing to do is to hand her a breakup in exchange for a break and go to complete and solid no contact to get your head and heart back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 she's cheated on me in the past 3 times So why stay with trash then? Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 I'm not sure that it's cheating, exactly, whatever it may be. But isn't the real issue that your g/f is on the...easy side? I mean, you go on a break and she's making out with another dude the same day? I just wouldn't date her for that reason alone, regardless of the cheating. She doesn't seem to have much in the way of standards. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 I think one or both of you is too young to be in a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CoffeeHouseHumor Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 I know we're young... and I know we'll find others in the future...especially once she goes away to college... I know that. but I can't seem to let her go... I think the things that make me stay are the facts that her family really likes me and takes me in as one of their own and on all of their family trips out of state... especially her mother... it's a weird relationship my "gf" and i have with her mother since she's okay with us having sex. She even got my gf on birth control etc... Maybe there's something wrong in that cause it certainly feels weird with her mother being so accepting of me. I should break up with her but I feel i've gained too much of a friend to completely cut communication off with her...but I know that's the way things should be for a while... It just doesn't seem so fair to leave after spending so much time and effort trying to be with this girl... I know that for that reason I shouldn't waste any more time...but then again I feel that since I've spent so much time being with her that I should tough this stuff out...but I guess i'm just going through one of those phases where you think you can change someone...but the reality is...they never will. Link to post Share on other sites
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