footinthemouth Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Hi all I just discovered this site today. I thought that I could use some good advice. Well my wife and I have separated as of Feb 14, we've discussed divorce, and she's "not in any rush". My situation is this, I married my partner 6 months into knowing each other. I met her in June 2003, married that christmas eve, and have been with her till now. We started as everyone does and eventually things turned a bit sour. Into our marriage I developed a lack of sexual desire for her. I had a lot to blame because I was not helping her self image issues and I lied to her about many things. As time went on I closed off to her because we were arguing so much. Many of our things that we enjoyed together were now a subject to argue about. As of right now, she's closed off her feelings, wants to be friends, and it seems pretty sure that she doesn't want to be with me. I know that there hasn't been much time since being apart, but I want to be with her so much right now. I have talked to her over that last couple of days, well mostly on msn, and were trying to be friends. I pushed her to the breaking point in our marriage. I want to know if we can still be saved, with what ever it takes. For now I'll leave her alone and give her time and space as we both need. I am going to focus back to my life, get some counselling and getting myself on track, it was also one of our issues. Do any of you think that we have a chance of getting back together? I believe in the "if it was meant to be, it will be" Link to post Share on other sites
UT_longhorn Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 ask her to go to counseling. if she absolutely refuses, its a pretty bad sign that she doesn't want to work things out. but you're right, space and time are the only things you can give right now. do not push the relationship issue at all. try to be light and positive in any communication you have with her...which should be very limited and not initiated by you. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 In that secret little place inside of me, I also harbor that wispy, Cinderella belief that whatever was meant to be, will be. But years of having to live with the reality of how that truly shapes us, -sometimes for the worse, by causing unfounded hope in unrealistic expectations- has, for me, caused the shine to fade considerably from that belief. Yet, I am nearly jealous of those who still retain it. As a child, I was brought up to believe that faith does, indeed, swim upstream. I still believe it. But faith is never to be confused with fate, if we are to acknowledge and appreciate, for what it's worth, the evolution of our own human intelligence, as well as it's opposite, -ignorance. Both can bring us to a very humble place. (Smile) Seeing a counselor sounds like a good thing for you. Go whether or not your estranged wife goes or not -but encourage her to join you, whenever you have opportunity. Your marriage may have been a bit premature, but, despite the serious problems that you have admitted to, remember that marriage is also, a two-party contract where both of you made promises and vowed vows that neither one of you can keep without the other. She has an equal responsibility to the relationship, too. Keep seeing your counselor, keep posting in the forum as you feel the need to, -and keep swimming upstream. I hope for the best for you both. Take Care. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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