Boyfriend's "mistake"

[shadow]

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years confessed to sleeping with another girl at a party about 5 months ago. He got very drunk & wasn't quite "with it" if you know what I mean. The next day he said that we needed to "take a break". I wondered what was up so I asked him if something had happened the night before & he said no. So when he finally told me the truth a few weeks ago I was very upset that he lied to me in the first place. He said he lied because he was so afraid that he'd lose me, which he almost did. I'm still with him because I think he's genuinely sorry about what he did & he wants us to work thru it. But I'm really worried about how I'll feel the next time he goes to a party & drinks. Plus, it's not like I can go to every party w/him because we live an hour apart & go to different colleges. Anyway, I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can trust him again? Thank you all very much!

[Sarah]

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years confessed to sleeping with another girl at a party about 5 months ago. He got very drunk & wasn't quite "with it" if you know what I mean. The next day he said that we needed to "take a break". I wondered what was up so I asked him if something had happened the night before & he said no. So when he finally told me the truth a few weeks ago I was very upset that he lied to me in the first place. He said he lied because he was so afraid that he'd lose me, which he almost did. I'm still with him because I think he's genuinely sorry about what he did & he wants us to work thru it. But I'm really worried about how I'll feel the next time he goes to a party & drinks. Plus, it's not like I can go to every party w/him because we live an hour apart & go to different colleges. Anyway, I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can trust him again? Thank you all very much!

[Sarah]

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years confessed to sleeping with another girl at a party about 5 months ago. He got very drunk & wasn't quite "with it" if you know what I mean. The next day he said that we needed to "take a break". I wondered what was up so I asked him if something had happened the night before & he said no. So when he finally told me the truth a few weeks ago I was very upset that he lied to me in the first place. He said he lied because he was so afraid that he'd lose me, which he almost did. I'm still with him because I think he's genuinely sorry about what he did & he wants us to work thru it. But I'm really worried about how I'll feel the next time he goes to a party & drinks. Plus, it's not like I can go to every party w/him because we live an hour apart & go to different colleges. Anyway, I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can trust him again? Thank you all very much!

 

To boyfriend's mistake

 

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is a little unsure about this relationship. I do think, however, that he may genuinely be sorry for what he did. It is time for you to take an objective look at this though because it seems as if you are making excuses for his behavior, as if youare trying to convince yourself that things are ok. Perhaps he does want to take a break but he is so accustomed to having you in his life that he is afraid to say so. Keeping you on standby if you will, in case something better doesn't come along. I say even if he has changed his mind about this give him some time off a month or so...long enough that he gets over that initial fear of being alone. Let him think things through and be an independent person. It may be healthy for both of you to evaluate the relationship....if you fear he will not come back after this period then I think that you already know what he wants. Let him have it. "If you love something

 

set it free

 

if it comes back

 

it's yours

 

if not it was never

 

meant to be"