Now what do I do?

[mjk]

Wow! Its been awhile since I been back to the Love Shack!

 

Anyway here is my situation: I have been in a LTR for almost 2 years with a beautiful (very beautiful) woman with four children and I have one. We were engaged to be married etc., etc. There was no problem with abuse, drugs, alcohol, or anything like that and life usually just seemed normal. I'm 45 she is 35 y.o. Due to outside issues i.e: problems with my ex of 3 years trying to interfere with us, my "jealousy" issue limited but there, and a couple of other minor things, she decided to "break off the engagement" and move out. At first I wimpered on and on but after a few weeks of trying to accept it I finally did. Last week she did move out and now she is on her own. Of course, being the nice guy, I helped her fix up her new house etc., etc. She wants to be friends, We promised that we didn't break up because there was someone else (for her) but that she need some "space" (I hate that word!) to get herself together, and that I really wasn't letting her be very independent (we also work together and still do), we agreed not to be intimate with anyone but us. We also talked about getting back together and dating at least 2 times per week.

 

So...here is the issue. It all seems fine and dandy but I'm suspicious, why? because I feel that she still has feelings for her ex (the father of her 4 children) he was why I was mostly jealous considering that they have contact between them because of the kids 2 or 3 times per week and I read a few of her emails to her girlfriend about "how she wishes she could meet someone who still gives her that "buzz" like her ex-husband always did, and that she wished it was still him, and the fact that she admitted to me that she still thinks he is sexually attractive, that she felt she didn't have total closure with him, and that she wished sometimes she had her "intact" family back together. She tells me that she in no way could ever get back together with him because during their marriage she had an affair that led to their divorce. On and On... In addition to that, about a week before the her move, she contacted an old male friend who she would "visit" while she was married to her ex and have sex with him. Now she and her male friend talk on the phone almost daily and he and she email back and forth. While we were together I knew about him because she told me all the stories about them but I basically told her "don't ever contact him while we are together". Actually there is so much to try to explain...

 

My question is: I still love her and she says she still loves me. I feel the "ex" is probably on the "up and up" and not coming on to her and I don't think that she has been anything but her usual nice back to him. Her ex and I always got along but we were really never more than "hello" friends. As far as the old male friend, I know for sure that he wants to have sex with her because she just about admitted it to me. She hasn't gone to see him (yet) and so far it has been a phone/email thing.

 

What do you suggest I do? Keep an open heart that we may get back together soon? Kick her to the curb? Move on? What? Its funny now that I see what I've written why should I even care about her....

 

Hope to hear back from you all....yeah I know...I was, I repeat was, a total wussy at the end of our relationship.