She was raped....

[Anonymous]

I've been with my gf for almost 2 years now and I was wondering.... a few months before I met this girl she was at the beach with her friend and met some marines(i live right next to a marine base). They got her and her friend drunk and pursued in "trying to do things with the girls" or so says a "friend" who saved the girls from the marines. He takes the girls away from the marines as the girls are friends with his sister, as he was on his way from work near the beach.

 

My gf and her friend were ****faced and dropped off at my gf's house... as my gf's mother was cleaning up my gf she noticed that her vagina was bleeding and her tampon was out. They didn't know if she had sex with the guy or what...so a month later she went up to the guy to ask her as we all went to the same high school. My gf was 14 at the time and the guy was 17.

 

He confessed that he had only fingered her and had her give her head...she vaguely remembers being on the cold hard ground...and flashes of the incident.... but what would a guy do if he was horny and had some girl on the floor out of sight of the public at night?... of course he'd want to stick it in her vagina...right?

 

I duno if this is the reason why she has cheated on me in the past ...and recently about 2 months ago... but it has to have something to do with it right?

 

This has bothered me ever since i knew...and she's never taken action...her father doesn't know...and her mother does...but she's never taken action... it's so wrong... i'm wondering if it was really rape or if she was just permiscuous....

 

The guy she cheated on me with she says has only "fingered" her.... but again... how can you get to that point without doing anything more... she's gotta be holdin out on me right? i know the less i know the better...but i just have to know!....any advice on how to cope?

[SuperMonk]

Well since it's all young high school love and all that, find yourself another girl!

[hyakku]

I've been with my gf for almost 2 years now and I was wondering.... a few months before I met this girl she was at the beach with her friend and met some marines(i live right next to a marine base). They got her and her friend drunk and pursued in "trying to do things with the girls" or so says a "friend" who saved the girls from the marines. He takes the girls away from the marines as the girls are friends with his sister, as he was on his way from work near the beach.

 

My gf and her friend were ****faced and dropped off at my gf's house... as my gf's mother was cleaning up my gf she noticed that her vagina was bleeding and her tampon was out. They didn't know if she had sex with the guy or what...so a month later she went up to the guy to ask her as we all went to the same high school. My gf was 14 at the time and the guy was 17.

 

He confessed that he had only fingered her and had her give her head...she vaguely remembers being on the cold hard ground...and flashes of the incident.... but what would a guy do if he was horny and had some girl on the floor out of sight of the public at night?... of course he'd want to stick it in her vagina...right?

 

I duno if this is the reason why she has cheated on me in the past ...and recently about 2 months ago... but it has to have something to do with it right?

 

This has bothered me ever since i knew...and she's never taken action...her father doesn't know...and her mother does...but she's never taken action... it's so wrong... i'm wondering if it was really rape or if she was just permiscuous....

 

The guy she cheated on me with she says has only "fingered" her.... but again... how can you get to that point without doing anything more... she's gotta be holdin out on me right? i know the less i know the better...but i just have to know!....any advice on how to cope?

 

WHAT!? Wait a minute so what you are trying to get across is, because she has gotten "raped" in the past, its ok for her to cheat and that she has special privileges because of her past? The second question I'm not understanding, are you trying to ask if we think that something else went on that wasn't actually rape and she just put it that way to save face?

 

Anyway, dump her, she cheated on you, there are more women out there, you don't have to stand her cheating on you man, go get a new woman.

[TeaCooler]

if she had a tampon in, she naturally would have been bleeding from the vagina.

 

in any case, you shouldn't dump someone because they were raped. you should if they cheated and the cheating bothers you. rape is not a reason to cheat, and even if she can excuse it until she gets things worked out in her own head, it doesn't mean you have to deal with it.

 

just don't be a dyck about it, that's all. be honest with her, in case this event really happened to her (which sounds a bit sketchy). you don't want to make her feel worse but you don't have to put up with it either.

 

i would be more concerned about her behaviour. no one asks for rape, but you can certainly avoid certain actions that may invite it.

 

if you aren't bothered by the explanation of "well, i cheated on you but he only fingered my vagina" then you are one strong (or naive) person

[Cecelius]

Given the cheating, who cares about the rest? Given her age, you cannot "save" her -- what kind of 14 yo is out drunk with Marines or anything else for that matter. I say abandon this and walk away.

[hyakku]

Exactly, the rape thing is sad if she really was, but:

 

1. What was she doing out with marines late at night

 

2. Why was she intoxicated with men she didn't know?

 

But forget rape, CHEATING IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. Or shouldn't be, but if you accept cheating in your relationships then by all means stay with her.

[Skeered]

And what's with her mom knowing that this happened to her and not pressing charges on this person especially if you know who did it? I'm sorry if it were my daughter that boy would wish he were dead...not be out strolling the streets to do it again.

 

I think it's a bunch of hooie anyway..and kinda curious if the poster isn't a troll? Seems like a pretty far fetched story?

[hyakku]

Yea that is a good point skeered, her mom TALKED to the guy and didn't press charges? Great parent there.

[TeaCooler]

And what's with her mom knowing that this happened to her and not pressing charges on this person especially if you know who did it? I'm sorry if it were my daughter that boy would wish he were dead...not be out strolling the streets to do it again.

 

I think it's a bunch of hooie anyway..and kinda curious if the poster isn't a troll? Seems like a pretty far fetched story?

 

 

i agree with the first part.

 

the second part though...i don't know...i see what you're saying but stuff like this does happen. 14 year old girls love drama and attention, and can tend to create it when they feel the need.

[Guest]

And what's with her mom knowing that this happened to her and not pressing charges on this person especially if you know who did it? I'm sorry if it were my daughter that boy would wish he were dead...not be out strolling the streets to do it again.

 

I think it's a bunch of hooie anyway..and kinda curious if the poster isn't a troll? Seems like a pretty far fetched story?

 

 

her mother didn't want her father to know... which i believe is stupid because i'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been so hard on her after knowing she was "raped." they still won't do anything which is why i'm wondering if it was even rape in the first place... she's a very sketchy girl but even if she wasn't my gf... i can't stand rape and people that take advantage of others. those people make me sick.

 

i'm a member of the forum. believe me...it's true. my cousin was with his gf at the time...and the reason my gf went to the beach w/her friend is cause they met w/my cousin and his gf...but got tired of watching them make out and crap... man... i was near by too... but left that night... i just feel like i could have done something... even if i break up w/her i won't be able to sleep at night... bleh... i'll keep you guys posted...

[hyakku]

her mother didn't want her father to know... which i believe is stupid because i'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been so hard on her after knowing she was "raped." they still won't do anything which is why i'm wondering if it was even rape in the first place... she's a very sketchy girl but even if she wasn't my gf... i can't stand rape and people that take advantage of others. those people make me sick.

 

i'm a member of the forum. believe me...it's true. my cousin was with his gf at the time...and the reason my gf went to the beach w/her friend is cause they met w/my cousin and his gf...but got tired of watching them make out and crap... man... i was near by too... but left that night... i just feel like i could have done something... even if i break up w/her i won't be able to sleep at night... bleh... i'll keep you guys posted...

 

Get over this feeling man. **** doesn't make sense, she doesn't wanna charge rape, she's letting the guy do it to more people? If its true why the hell did her mom not do anything, there's no way a mom goes, "I don't want your father to know you got raped." WHAT FATHER WOULD NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT!? You couldn't have done anything. She chose to go with them, she got drunk. Besides how can she give oral sex without a fight you have a TON of power over a man when his manhood is in your mouth with all your teeth there.

 

And if you break up with her you won't be able to sleep? Fine then stay with a woman who has cheated on you, probably lied to you more than once, and uses her excuse of "rape" to get away with stuff so you can be used and manipulated. Have fun while everyone else lives happy healthy lives and relationships.

[Citizen Erased]

Get over this feeling man. **** doesn't make sense, she doesn't wanna charge rape, she's letting the guy do it to more people? If its true why the hell did her mom not do anything, there's no way a mom goes, "I don't want your father to know you got raped." WHAT FATHER WOULD NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT!? You couldn't have done anything. She chose to go with them, she got drunk. Besides how can she give oral sex without a fight you have a TON of power over a man when his manhood is in your mouth with all your teeth there.

 

And if you break up with her you won't be able to sleep? Fine then stay with a woman who has cheated on you, probably lied to you more than once, and uses her excuse of "rape" to get away with stuff so you can be used and manipulated. Have fun while everyone else lives happy healthy lives and relationships.

 

Okay, I think everyone is getting a bit carried away with placing all of the blame on this girl. We are all in agreement that the rape and the cheating are two separate entities right? So lets treat them as such.

 

Saying that she was asking for it because she got drunk and was with somemarines at the age of 14 does not make her anything but a naive little girl. She certainly wasnt asking for it. 14 year old girls are at the point in time where they dont think anything can touch them - they think nothing bad will penetrate their little world. She was looking for excitement and she was taken advantage of by someone who was older and should have known better. When a teenaged girl is drunk, she is a totally different person, especially when they are so young. Her body isnt used to alcohol and so she cant handle it. Her giving that guy a BJ does not show she is a slut or whatever, she was under the influence and indeed by the sounds of it, it is statutory rape. There are reasons why there are laws for when people can drink and have sex, and it is to protect little girls like this who get in these situations and taken advantage of.

 

Secondly, her being raped gives no excuse for her cheating. If she uses that excuse then she is now taking advantage of you. It is no excuse and I really do think that you would be better off without this relationship because itseems a bt too heavy for someone so young. You are both not adult and you dont know how to deal with these issues and so I think you should break it off and find someone who you can have a good, positive relationship with because she has already broken your trust, what sort of relationship can you have with someone if youre not mature enough to dela with these types of issues?

 

Thats my 2 cents, good luck in whatever you choose to do!

[hyakku]

Okay, I think everyone is getting a bit carried away with placing all of the blame on this girl. We are all in agreement that the rape and the cheating are two separate entities right? So lets treat them as such.

 

Saying that she was asking for it because she got drunk and was with somemarines at the age of 14 does not make her anything but a naive little girl. She certainly wasnt asking for it. 14 year old girls are at the point in time where they dont think anything can touch them - they think nothing bad will penetrate their little world. She was looking for excitement and she was taken advantage of by someone who was older and should have known better. When a teenaged girl is drunk, she is a totally different person, especially when they are so young. Her body isnt used to alcohol and so she cant handle it. Her giving that guy a BJ does not show she is a slut or whatever, she was under the influence and indeed by the sounds of it, it is statutory rape. There are reasons why there are laws for when people can drink and have sex, and it is to protect little girls like this who get in these situations and taken advantage of.

 

Secondly, her being raped gives no excuse for her cheating. If she uses that excuse then she is now taking advantage of you. It is no excuse and I really do think that you would be better off without this relationship because itseems a bt too heavy for someone so young. You are both not adult and you dont know how to deal with these issues and so I think you should break it off and find someone who you can have a good, positive relationship with because she has already broken your trust, what sort of relationship can you have with someone if youre not mature enough to dela with these types of issues?

 

Thats my 2 cents, good luck in whatever you choose to do!

 

I didn't say she was asking for it, but she knew what she was doing.

 

And besides this point, this whole thread can be solved with this.

 

She cheated, dump her. There's no excuse for cheating. Next turn inwardly and improve on yourself, even if it wasn't your fault you can always find an area to improve. Use this experience to become stronger, and more productive.