rachel702 Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Iv just started seeing a guy who is really wonderful. he's a perfect gentleman, cooks me meals, takes me out, everything i could want, theres just one thing thats preying on my mind. I know that about a year ago, before i knew him, he was having a relationship with a married woman for a year. I know this woman messed him around a lot and he was very much in love with her. he ended it because it was hurting him too much emotionally. I noticed just yesterday that he still has text messages on his mobile from her from over a year ago when they were still seeing eachother. It worries me that, even though he is treating me fantastically, that he's still not over her. Am i worrying over nothing do u think or it s an issue i should be worried about? Rachel Link to post Share on other sites
goingforgold Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 I dont want to cause alarm bells here, but if it was me i would be worried. Did you manage to see what the text said? I know when i wasnt over my ex's i would still keep a text or 2 of theirs they sent me that were my favourite, and when i was down in the dumps i would look at it and it would remind me of the good times we shared. If he is well and truely over her there is no reason for him to keep that text on there. Maybe you should talk to him in a gentle manner about it? Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author rachel702 Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 There were several messages on his phone. I have only been seeing him a few weeks and he has told me he has a lot of feelings for me and wants 2 continue gettin to know eachother a lot better. I know the affair lasted just over a year and it was a hard time for him. When he ended it last year he was really hurt and since then has been depressed. He said since meeting me he feels like a new person. He seems genuine enough and i am probably overreacting about it. I was hurt in my last relationship thru lack of trust and the affair for him left him vulnerable too so we have agreed to take things nice and slow. I guess thats ok isnt it? Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 I think it is a clear indication of a continuing connection. As Aussie_Mandy says, there is a purpose to keeping txts on your mobile for that length of time. I personally do not know why someone would do this. I have experience of seeing this too. It made me very angry. This was the way I perceived it. To retain a text on your phone requires a deliberate effort. An action aforethought. He is deleting other messages to save these ones/this one. I would even go so far as to categorically state that he has something going on inside of him that you are unaware of. The last thing I said was... "Thanks for making me feel so special, deleting my messages and retaining this one. Laying next to me with a message from an ex on your phone, deliberately retained in preference to my own to you." I will add that he had an affair with a MW, that is not an indication of his whole character, but must call his ability to be honest into question. I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater. But to ignore this now may lead you to further pain. Link to post Share on other sites
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