caring guy Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 My l2 srious relationships ended differently but never the kess i fell apart, nervous breakdown & severe depression. Then i dated someone & it was more a 4 day fling & i kknew they hada job in the south to go to & then when they did, i was upset & felt like i'd had my legs cut off. That was too fast a time we had, mor a fling, but i fell for her. Recently, i've dated someone properly, seeing each other couple times a week, lots in common & eventually it got to stage of kissing & holdin hands, no sex though. I 've been told now, she's going to a job interviiew in South & thinks we should cool it. This hurts me a lot. Why the hell did she flirt with me, get touchy feely, let me hold her hand & cuddle her, this is second time it's happened. If she stays here & don't get the job, we can carry on & let nature take it's course, but why did it get to this, all that build up to something good & now that bombshell. Jeez. Is it me being in need of a relationship, i think so. I don't come across needy to her, we hit it off big time, but everyone goes away from me & i'm lonely, seriously i hope she don't get the job. A relationship is more important to me, but to her it's a dream career move. We're not that close yet for me to say i'd follow her, but if she asked me i would, i'm very upset by all this. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 You really need to stay away from relationships until you have dealt with the codependency issue. Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 You are investing too much, too soon. During your time alone to work on the co-dependancy, you should look at coming to terms with the fact that a four day fling shouldnt have this much effect on you. You should get to know someone to know if they are good for you before you invest in them emotionally. You dont know anything about the person, and when they tell you about themselves and their plans, you feel like you have had your legs cut off. Four days doesnt make a relationship, it makes an aquaintance Link to post Share on other sites
Author caring guy Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Hi I know the 4 day thing with that girl was stupid & too fast, a fling & never was destined to work. This girl, i took all advice i got from here, mellowed it out & got more to know her as a friend & did things socially without rushing in, i just then read the signs, the touchy feeelyness, the way she looked at me, the fact it was cold & she held me & it felt right, so i didn't do much wrong, just i t felt good, now she's going away.! Why did she get like that with me, make me feel like it could go further. I don't see holding ands, snogging, & hugging as something light, it tells me she likes me & that something could happpen, a future, not just a bit of fyun for that time! Maybe i'm wrong. Co-dependency, esaier said than done, i'm gonnna have som regressive psychoanalytic therapy as to know why i feel the craving to be loved & wanted & why life for me is crap without it! cg Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 My l2 srious relationships ended differently but never the kess i fell apart, nervous breakdown & severe depression. Then i dated someone & it was more a 4 day fling & i kknew they hada job in the south to go to & then when they did, i was upset & felt like i'd had my legs cut off. That was too fast a time we had, mor a fling, but i fell for her. Recently, i've dated someone properly, seeing each other couple times a week, lots in common & eventually it got to stage of kissing & holdin hands, no sex though. I 've been told now, she's going to a job interviiew in South & thinks we should cool it. This hurts me a lot. Why the hell did she flirt with me, get touchy feely, let me hold her hand & cuddle her, this is second time it's happened. If she stays here & don't get the job, we can carry on & let nature take it's course, but why did it get to this, all that build up to something good & now that bombshell. Jeez. Is it me being in need of a relationship, i think so. I don't come across needy to her, we hit it off big time, but everyone goes away from me & i'm lonely, seriously i hope she don't get the job. A relationship is more important to me, but to her it's a dream career move. We're not that close yet for me to say i'd follow her, but if she asked me i would, i'm very upset by all this. You probably came across to those people as a cool guy and they couldn't help but get to know you when all the while they DIDN'T want to get involved with anyone... And you just happened to be there and impressed them. Don't worry about "needing" a relationship, first figure what it is in a relationship you desire. Companionship? Sex? Sleep partner? just what is it and make that the foundation of fixing what is wrong inside then you'll enjoy dating all the much more. OH,, and you'll enjoy dating more if you approach women as friendly and with no agenda for anything. Try next time you meet someone to NOT work on getting her number, to NOT do anything but enjoy conversation. Y bob Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts