how often do you see your married man

[lolax]

just wanted to know how often you seem your mm ??

is it mostly in the day??

does he ever take you out in public where he could be seen, is he open with his affections in public??

have to been lucky enough to spend all night with him???

does he call you everyday..even at weekends and holidays? like christmas?and what about texting? emails??

does he buy you things??

i know i ask alot of questions....but i am intrigued to know

thanks to all of you

god bless x:laugh:

[scarletletter]

My MM and I try to see each other at least once a week, sometimes more. If one of us has to go out of town on business, the other one will try to come along. When we are out of town we do go out in public and pretend that we have no worries, which is nice. He does buy me things but nothing too big or expensive, just little things. He is not terribly romantic but does try to be....sometimes its funny when he tries. He calls me at least once every day and sometimes on the weekends but not always. Due to our small children, our time on the weekends is not our own. We email our feelings back and forth and always trying to find time to be together. It's far from perfect but I am so lucky to have him at all.

[kpin124]

have to been lucky enough to spend all night with him???

 

o my i wish ........ we are working on this but haven't yet got it done

 

but for everything else.....

 

i see my mm about once a month and we will talk a couple times a week... he lives 3 hours away from me so it is hard to see him more... we use to email that is how this whole thing started damn internet..lol... but we don't email anymore his w was starting to get suspicious as to why he was on the computer all the time but we do text all the time everyday actually i don't know what i would do with out txt....

[Walking away]

When my MM and I were in the "thick of it" these past several months, we would see each other every other week. He lives in another state, so he would either fly me with him on business or he would fly in to my city to see me. We would spend a few days and nights together, then he would leave. We always went out in public..fancy restaurants, shows, etc. We were also very affectionate in public.

He would call me numerous times daily, text daily, and e-mail many times during the day. Called on all the holidays...sometimes more than once a day. We spent Christmas evening and a few days after together in LV. He wanted to spend New Year's Eve with me but I had other plans and declined his invitation.

Every time we would meet, he would have gifts for me: my favorite flowers, wine, foods, candles, spa certificates, CDs, etc. I would also receive flowers delivered to my home or work usually every other week.

We saw each other on weekends, during the week. It didn't matter when the time of week it was. It was easy to understand, looking back, on how I didn't realize he was married. There was no indication whatsoever that he was limited on the time he could spend with me and he called all hours of the day or night and weekends.

He treated me very well. Never led me to feel that he was commited to another until he admitted it to me.

[lizad]

hi there,

we actually live in the next state from one another.....he always drives here to see me which could end up being a 5 hour trip on a bad traffic day for a half hour to 5 hours.....on an average he prob comes out 2 times a week but would come out more than that if I would see him.......

he would do dinner and such but that is harder for me as I am married and my nights are spent with my family.....

he would call me multiple times a day...e-mail all day long everyday including from his house, on holidays.....gifts on all holidays.....very very attentive......has called me from his family vacations........

I really can't complain......I am the one who keeps things at bay so to speak.

I know I doubt a lot of what he says.......ie: bad marriage, wanting a future with me and so on.......has told family members about me.....partly b/c I am skeptical and reading many of these posts about MM....even more skeptical but his actions have followed his words......

we were in NC for a week and we did speak........not sure whether this will continue or not......just trying to sort out my feelings......not about the way I feel about him but all the other stuff that goes along with it.....

[CeeJayXXX]

My MM and I see each other almost every day.....we talk by phone and email many times daily (usually email for about 2 hours before bed every night)...We spend 1 night together almost every month (sometimes its a two nighter).. I see him every holiday...and on weekends if we arent able to "see" each other we just pick up and call the other - any time of day or evening. When we are away we are "us" in public....we do everything a "normal" couple would do.......beautiful dinners, quiet walks in the evening....relax by the fire. We spend money on each other...we spend a lot of time together.

[Sami_D]

The amount of contact we've had has varied through the relationship. The first year was only online, and we'd use MSN and do a lot of chatting, and phonecalls.

 

After a year (April last year) he got a contract in Scotland, and we decided to meet up for the first time. That went well, so we saw each other once or twice a month as I'd fly up there to see him. It didn't happen every month, as obviously I couldn't afford it in either time or money, but we probably saw each other for 10 or 12 weeks altogether. I'd stay in his hotel all week and he'd go to work while I worked on my laptop in the room, and we had evenings and nights together. He went home weekends.

 

During the weeks when I didn't go up, he'd phone every evening for an hour. Texts during the day. Weekends have always been more or less no contact. Just a couple of emails to say good morning etc.

 

Then just before Christmas, after much talking about where the relationship was going, he decided to give up the contract he was on in Scotland, because there was another possibility (with the same company) in a town near me. This would mean that he could stay at my place during the week instead of us having this hotel existence.

 

So... he managed to leave his contract in Edinburgh, and got transferred to Head Office in his home city. Unfortunately that's where he still is! The contract in my local town is taking forever to work out. Upshot is that we haven't seen each other properly for 2 months and he's living at home with his W and Cs for the first time in over a year.

 

So now, my contact is a phonecall for 45 mins on his way to work, and one on his way home. Not great, and it's putting a real strain on things at the moment. No idea how long it will take to change. But as he says, at least it's going forward. BUT we both miss those days in the hotel ~ they seem like Halcyon days now, but at the time we both used to complain about it!!!

[OzGirl]

I am an ex-OW... but for the sake of the survey, the answers were:

 

just wanted to know how often you seem your mm ??

 

Everyday at work, stayed with me one or two nights a week.

 

is it mostly in the day??

 

Yes or at night after work.

does he ever take you out in public where he could be seen, is he open with his affections in public??

 

Yes, after a couple of years he did. He said he lost the fear of being caught.

 

have to been lucky enough to spend all night with him???

 

Yes.

 

does he call you everyday..even at weekends and holidays? like christmas?and what about texting? emails??

 

Yes, every day to and from work he rang, then worked with me all day. Weekends mainly texts. Holidays - never.

 

does he buy you things??

 

Yes, not often, but for special occassions and in particular, my birthday went to a lot of effort and expense: flowers, jewellery, miscellaneous gifts, dinner, etc.

 

i know i ask alot of questions....but i am intrigued to know

 

Why? You sound like a new "ow". The excitement is temporary, the pain is long-lasting. The gifts end up meaningless. The world makes you feel humiliated. LS forums become your second home.

[Brianschick]

I see my MM usually twice a month

Always at night

We are pretty open w/ the affection in public

I have NEVER spent the night w/him

He calls me at least a few times a week, never on weekends

We do email each other at least a few times a week and he calls me at work a few times a week too.

Hasn't bought me anything yet

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

The posts here make me soooo sad.

You girls deserve so much more, don't you see?

WalkingAway and OzGirl - you guys are heading in the right direction: toward a new SELF-gratifying road. Good for those of you who have the strengths to leave your MM.

 

As some of you may already know, I have been keeping NC for the past 3-4 months. it has been so hard! However, I cannot fathom just seeing the love of my life just once or twice a week/month either.

 

I can now understand that the pain I am feeling is in no way comparable to the pain I would feel if I were to proceed with an affair with my MM. Admittedly, I have been trying to hatch a plan on how we could proceed with an affair. Well, no more ladies!! I am not going to allow myself to fall into this trap. I am not going to devote all my attention to someone who matters only only ... 1 month out of the year... IF that even.

 

I have been complaining that my H doesn't help out at home and is pretty much absent from home most of the time (due to work). That is the main source of our arguments most nights. All being equal, I would still see my H more than my MM.

 

I know that for you guys (especially the ex-OW) to post on this topic must have been difficult as it would bring back memories of good times. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. You certainly helped me tremendously today.

 

This is like a kick in the head, don't you think, ladies? Why would we settle for this? Don't we have more control over our feelings? If men can control their feelings, why couldn't we??

[OzGirl]

Well said. Don't bother with having an affair.

 

All you are doing is compartmentalising your life - this man does this for me, the other man does that.

 

Assess what you want and need, and maybe, after many years of marriage, your needs have changed. Many people, single or attached, as they get older and wiser, the definition of what makes them feel good about themselves evolves.

 

Sometimes, your partner is on that road evolving with you. Sometimes, they're not. It's a helpless situation when I see people on here looking at starting a cycle that's ripped my heart to pieces, my brain into obilvion, and my soul into a furnace. Just don't do it. I can't simplify it more than that.

 

Before you look at bringing anyone in or out of your life, assess what you want, and give yourself a fair chance to have it with what you've already got before you go looking elsewhere. The, if you're not happy where you are, you can leave without compromising your integrity - in the eyes of yourself.

 

I know the feelings are magical and trust me.... I thought I had something only replicated by romantic movie scripts. The truth is, it was as unrealistic as a made up story is.

 

It's not painful to think about it. It's painful to realise that if I really loved this man, and he me, if I'd known then what I knew now, I would have told him to give it his best shot with his wife, and if it doesn't work out and you leave each other, give me a call, and if I'm available, we'll do coffee.

 

We live and learn - well, some of us do.