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FWB: open communication or just assume?


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This is my first time being in FWB so i have no clue how to maintain it long term.

 

Instead of being exclusive we decided to keep it casual since the both of us dont really want the commitment (or tied down part)....well thats what i think i know based on our last talk a month ago.

 

However since then, the new semester started and im caught up with school and she's caught up with her own stuff. Usually we dont let that get in the way, but our talk time/date time has been decreasing for 2 weeks. And it's mostly been me calling. I have to admit our last date was pretty dull, but it was last minute and i had limited time to do anything.

 

Whether it's her losing interest or her assuming im not interested (and her backing off)...well i dont know. I know everybody needs their space every so often, and i want to talk to her, but i dont want to push her away. But i dont want her to think im not interested in her.

 

The problem with FWB is that there are no boundaries or high expectations.

So if 1 person is unhappy about a certain unfullfillment, they might not bring it out in the open. A lot of times im not even sure how i should treat her when we hang out or what she wants from me...since she said she just wants to be friends. I had to admit ive been a bit distant lately, but only cause im not sure how i should even be treating her.

 

What should i do in this situation? avoid contacting her, and let her contact me when she feels like it? or call and 'communicate'?

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notmakingsense

It doesn't sound to me like you'd be risking much by just having an open conversation about it with her. Tell her you are interested in keeping things up with her and you want to get a better sense of where she is at. Don't get all heavy and serious, just explain your thoughts and questions matter-of-factly.

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  • 1 month later...

Communication, communication, communication. This is key in this kind of relationship. Please do not go on without clearing things up with your partner, until you are both completely at ease with the arrangement. Someone will only end up getting hurt.

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The problem with FWB is that there are no boundaries or high expectations.

So if 1 person is unhappy about a certain unfullfillment, they might not bring it out in the open. A lot of times im not even sure how i should treat her when we hang out or what she wants from me...since she said she just wants to be friends. I had to admit ive been a bit distant lately, but only cause im not sure how i should even be treating her.

 

Sounds like you're pretty aware of the problems with this situation. The best way to deal with this is talk about it and decide where you want it to go. The problem is neither of you are aware of each others viewpoints and avoiding the issue will only lead to the whole situation breaking down.

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vi_pn_babe25

yah it's true the best thing to do is to communicate with each other. me and my fwb have been seeing each other ongoing like every week for 9 months now. but we both kept giving each other mix signals so one day we had this big discussion about us and afterwards I felt kinda hurt because i realized then that it is what it is, but i never really knew because we never talked about it. so it's a good idea to let each other know what you want, just please talk about it, because if not, emotions will get confused and one of you will end up getting hurt.

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