it still hurts

[Gina]

hey,

 

i posted last week. Nothing has really changed with our relationship. After chating on here last week i realized something, i had to talk to him. He came over for a bit that night. He started to kiss me and i pulled away and blurted out "are u using me?" I couldnt believe i said that. He looked shocked amd he responded "no" zzzzzhe seemed suprised that i felt that way even though he should have known that. we talked some more amd i got really emotional. I couldnt get everything i wanted to say out. i am still really hurt.

 

then the other day he stopped by my place at 10am. I gave into my "urges" and then he left to go to class. Was that wrong? I love him to death so i really dont know what to do. My friends all say its good that we arent tied down to each other but i dont see it quite that way. When i am talking to them i have myself convinced that i agree.

 

What i want to know is how can i make the hurt go away. And what can i say to him so he will see how this is hurting me. Should i play things by ear or should i say good bye??

 

Gina

[Tony T]

I don't recall your post of last week and your above post is rather vague.

 

However, generally speaking, if you talk to a person you're in a relationship with and you tell them how you feel and they do not respond with some significant change, you have to move on.

 

It is necessary that you base the status of a relationship on how it makes you feel...how the person makes you feel when you are around him/her or when you are thinking of him/her. If this guy is not making you feel good about the relationship, about him or about yourself, you simply have no choice but to move on. The aggregate sum of the hurt and pain you will feel in the future by staying is considerable more than the hurt you will feel for a short while after a breakup.

 

Just be sure whatever you do is exactly what you want.

 

It takes a lot more than love to make a relationship. If this guy is not holding up his end or is simply not making you feel loved or special, get rid of him. If you feel you are being used, get rid of him yesterday.

 

Note: Most people don't, can't or are not willing to make long term change.