unimoko Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I don't know about the rest of you but I suffer from co-dependency issues. I seek out men who are needy, emotional unavliable, imature, un-reliable, self-centered, or their have their emotional development arrested in some way or fashion. I have a knack for finding men who need "fixing" regardless of whether or not they want the fixing at all. And if I am not looking for that I would be seeking out relationships with the unavaliable men (i.e. married, already spoken for, addicted to (fill in the blank), etc.,) My friendships are a reflection of that as well. I seek people who are emotionally distant or unavaliable. They work for me because I do not talk with them often and there is limited intimacy between us. I guess they have intimacy problems as well..... I find pleasure through passion (pain--that is the real meaning), it takes me out of my continous state of numbness. I go back to it from time to time through people and/or situations. I've got real control issues as well, if I can not control it makes me crazy and I often have to fight the temptation hard to want to "fix" the problem. When I meet someone who seeks out a friendship/relationship or wants to deepen the relationship with me it makes me nervous and I purposefully avoid them. However, I obsess about the people who DON'T want to get close, those of the people that drive me insaine and I want to be with them even more. Does this sound like you? Right now I am single and not dating anyone. It was scary at first but I am getting to know me a little better and work on my issues. Does anyone hear have any successful recovery stories and how they conquered their addiction? Much thanks -unimoko Link to post Share on other sites
Funnygirl Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I've had friends who, when they feel down about themselves, start to hang out more with negative influence, friends who have no motivation, it allows him to say- "woa, now they REALLY have problems..." I dated a guy who "needed fixing" so that I didn't have to focus on my problems, and issues...it ended with my esteem being even worse than before, and with a restraining order. If you think that you deserve to be with these troubled people, it's because you don't think you are deserved of someone who will REALLY like you for you, and maybe even love you. You persue relationships that are toxic, or won't add anything positive to your life because you are chicken, and scared of actually having a great relationship- because then you risk getting hurt, or even maybe having it work out to be a great, loving relationship. You shouldn't have to be with people who don't contribute anything positive to your life, but YOU have to realize it on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
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