What does this mean??

[Abbo]

Hello to everyone, and thankyou for all your recent help. I just joined, but have been reading for a while and this has helped me in my recent situation.

Had been with her for 4 years. I recently got my second chance with the one I love. My fault it finished the first time, then I begged, grovelled, and pleaded and I got her back!! (I know, had I read here before, wouldn't have done it!) But it was what she always wanted in me, I always took her for granted, but now I have changed.

Anyway, after 6 weeks of a great second attempt, I realised she was acting weird at times, not really around me, but mainly through short answers in txt messages etc. I questioned her on this, and she said she was finding it difficult to feel the way she felt before, but she was really trying, and she wanted the feeling to come back. She used the "spark has gone" line. (thats bad I know!) So as soon as i heard that I said that there is no point in going on. She was shocked, I was calm, and just said that if she wasn't happy what was the point, goodluck and goodbye. It was abrupt, and she wasn't ready to say it, but I knew I couldn't just wait for her to say its over.

So its been NC for a week. until tonite. She just sent a txt saying

"Hey, hows you? Hope you are good. I'm off tomorrow if you want me to come get my bits. Its up to you if its not convenient let me know."

Now if she simply said hey, hope your are good, can I come get my bits tomorrow is that ok? Then fine, I know whats she wants. But the fact is she has asked if I want her to come and get her bits!!

I want her back, but on my terms. Is she just testing the water to see if I will beg for her again, or does she really want her stuff back. Please bear in mind it is only a dressing gown, hair dryer, pair of shoes, and some shampoo etc!

Apologies if this sounds brief, but she only txt half hour ago, and I really don't know what to do!

Please help!

Thanks in advance!

[gfto]

Abbo,

 

You are totally grasping at straws!! She just wants her stuff back. That's all. I honestly can't even see the distinction you're making between her text and your variation of her text. Of course you want her back. The problem is that she doesn't want YOU back. That's why she got rid of you the first time. You did the right thing by pulling the plug on it a week ago. But, now you've got to stick with your decision. Even if she wanted to get back with you, she couldn't possibly have any respect for you if you roll over and take her back yet a third time! She isn't testing the waters. She just wants her stuff back. So, give her stuff back to her, then cut off contact. Move on.

[Abbo]

see, I know this girl, I knew the way that txt was written was odd. I called her!

 

I waited 2 hours after it was sent, I called her, I simply said "Hiya, I got your message, but was not sure what the question was. Were you asking me if I wanted you to come get your stuff back tomorrow, or were you asking if it was ok to come get your stuff tomorrow?"

 

She stuttered, was obviously shocked by the question, so I continued in a cool and calm manner saying "because if it was do i want you to, then the answer is no, but if you want to come get it and make a final break like that then fine its your choice." she was DEFINATELY testing the water to see how I felt, and was struggling for an answer, she said ok, I won't come tomorrow then, but i'm not off for another 5 days. I said no problem, I gotta go now. I ended by saying, ok, i gotta go, bye.

 

Please remember, this is about a hair dryer and a dressing gown!!

 

Then when at home i notice her mum's screen name come online at like 11:15pm (clearly not her mum!), for less than 5 minutes, then off again. When I spoke with her at 10:20 she had just finished work and was getting in her car to go home. I have off course blocked both her and her mums screen names from seeing if i am online or not!

 

half hour later, I receive a text message that says..... "Sorry if I was a bit weird earlier. I'm just feeling a bit rough today. Hope you have a good night."

 

I wasn't out, but was mearly walking to the shop nearby when I spoke with her on the phone, and she knows I normally go out thursday nights.

I didn't say I was out, or even hint at it, I simply said what is written above.

 

I have not replied to the text message. Back to NC for me. Right? or Wrong?

 

I see this as progress, a step forward in me gaining a little control of the situation. I hold no hopes, but things like this are a bonus.

[gfto]

She just wants her stuff back. You're doing what every man does who is on the road to rejection....you're analyzing everything she says, desperately looking for a hint that there's still a chance. Every guy has done it. I've done it. After she's told you that the "spark is gone," and she "needs space," we carefully examine every word of every e-mail and text message she sends, and then take them to a crime lab for further analysis. The sad reality is that her romantic feelings towards you have flatlined. It's all over.