cloud strife Posted September 2, 2001 Share Posted September 2, 2001 Hi, I am just asking about a problem I am having with a decision, and also I guess, I would like to see if anyone would like to talk to me about it. I met a girl from the internet and we went on a first date a week ago. I think she is great, she is cute, smart, independent, short, and sweet. I like a bunch of things about her so far. I have known this already, but the only thing that troubles me is that she has 4 kids. I love kids, and I don't know if this type of thing happens that much or what I should expect. Yeah, so I think to myself, I am young and I should try to date a woman who is my equal, but I am forever surrounded by women who are little girls. I am really mature for my age, and I am beginning to believe that I am doomed into meeting and settling down too quick, especially since I am in the military, where if I were to change bases, only married family can come with me. I know that I have too much life and experiences to live and learn from, but why do I seem to want to settle too fast? Why do I do these things? Is there anything I can do to stop myself from settling? But would I be wrong to keep dating this girl because I am still interested in her. I know my problem is complicated, but so is my life and my mind. I have never done this message board thing, but I believe that you guys are pretty cool and smart. I would like to have some input from you guys. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 2, 2001 Share Posted September 2, 2001 Marriage is a very serious business and should not be taken lightly. Marrying the wrong person can create problems in your life you never thought were possible. Take every possible minute of time to make a decison about who you should marry and when. Be sure you are crazy about the person and that you have been with the person long enough to be sure those feelings are real. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone with four children, if you have fallen in love with all five people and they with you. Life with four young children growing up with someone who is not their real father could be hell if you haven't done your homework. The military provides counselling for these types of situations and decisions and I urge you to take advantage of such. A single woman with four children is very, very eager to find a father for those children and will probably say and do almost anything she can to find a father and security for them. A member of the military, who gets paid according to numbers of dependents as far as housing and other allowances are concerned, is an ideal candidate for a husband in her case. As you progress through this, just be very aware of the advantages there are for you...and the advantages there are for the lady and four children. Give your decision a lot of consideration and consider marriage to this person or any other person one of the most serious and important ones you will ever make. Don't rush this. You have a long life ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
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