Has your instinct ever been wrong?

[funkify]

Have you ever had a strong feeling about being/not being with someone, and then gone against it only to find out you were happier taking that chance?

 

People say you should listen to your instincts, but how do you know when?

 

Fear can be a very strong emotion that can stop us from doing many things that could be good for us (eg. taking charge of a project at work). Guilt can also do the same: there are many people who break up with their partners after cheating without telling them just because they feel they deserve the punishment.

 

They say your sense of instinct becomes stronger with age...what are your experiences about going with or against your 'instincts'?

[skeptik224]

Trusting your instincts is a chance you have to take. Sometimes your emotions can conflict the instincts. I try to only trust my instincts when I'm in an emotionally healthy - or somewhat healthy - space.

 

I agree that fear is a ruling emotion. My ex left because she was scared. It's a shame that people let fear rule them. I myself have been guilty of that in the past. It's hard to hit things that scare us head on. I take it your situation is involving a cheating scenario? or do your instincts tell you that?

[mablung]

Hmm. I met my (currently divorcing) wife that way: acting completely against my instincts. Because my instincts were stupid: "Don't get involved, don't get involved !". Especially since it happened two weeks before my leaving to another country (for a duration of several years). And we both knew that.

 

Yet... yet... I did it. Against my every instinct. And I'll never regret it. I returned from where I was after less than 6 months, and got married to her a few months later. She gave me the best years of my life.

 

So I don't know about instincts. Depends on what they are based, I guess.

Are they based on your principles, philosophy of life, etc ?

 

Are they based on previous experiences ?

For instance, I followed my intuition/instincts in my relationship with my wife in many occasions, not always following logic. More often than not, they proved true.

[OPTIPESSIMISTIC]

Mine is kind of funny. I dated this boy, fell totally in love with him, and was quickly dumped for some b.s. reason. So, naturally I went into a stupid-spiral and wallowed in my devastation. To try and get myself a little perked, I went out and bought myself a pair of $300 pair of shoes (my first shoe splurge), and I called them my Break-up shoes. I wore them all around and they were empowering in some weird way.

 

After 2 months, he contacted me, and I, still stupid, rushed back. Things went right back to how they were, and I was elated. Then one night, I decided to wear my Break-up shoes on an out-on-the-town night with him and others. The night was so fun, but on the way back to the car I hear this *snap* and my Break-up shoe had broken! The entire heel completely ripped off, and I hadn't gotten it caught in anything or tripped. It just died. Everyone said that I should look at it as a good sign that I had broken my Break-up shoe while out on a date with him, but I felt like it was a sign pointing in the other direction. Still, I continued with the relationshi* because I was just soooo in love and I just had to be with him. About a month later, he broke up with me again. Out of the blue, and for crap reasons.

 

Again, devastated. Big surprise?! I still had the broken Break-up shoes in my closet, and would cry whenever I saw the box, but I couldn't get myself to get rid of them. Wouldn't you know it, 6 months later, and a lot of Xanax later too, he came back. I was hesitant at first, but I thought "how can I just cut him off? I can't just give up on someone." But then I also thought "Run, Run, Run!!! If you do this again, it will be emotional suicide! If you go back, you are for sure a masochist and need real help."

 

So I decided that I wasn't going to date him, but just Do him. Well, that didn't work and in the end, neither did we. We lasted about a year, and once again, he started pulling the same crap, and I knew it was coming. I decided that I needed to end things before he did; that at least I could leave with some dignity, and I did.

 

The funny thing is that about 2 weeks before our out-of-the-blue break-up #3, I had finally taken the shoes to be repaired. They day they called me to tell me they were ready to be picked up, that was the day I broke up with him (after I did it though).

 

From now on, I am listening to my shoes!

[Dinnj1]

for me, my instincts are always ON! So much and so correct, that I hate it. But only when it comes to my biggest fears... and NEVER for something good to happen to me. But this is only with relationships/women.

 

She's cheatin, she's cheatin'... please don't be cheatin'.... "What do you mean you slept with him????"

 

She's married, she's married.... please don't be married... "What do you mean you're married?"

 

She's gonna call tonight... (gut-no she's not) She's gonna call tonight.. (gut-idiot, no she's not)... check the phone, check the phone..."Boooo hoooo, why didn't you call me last night?"

 

When something bad is about happen and I'm about to get hurt somehow??? My gut always warns me... and till this day, I haven't learned from it.