unsure Posted September 2, 2001 Share Posted September 2, 2001 please guys, I feel all alone out here. I need to know what objective observers think. Can it be that he loves me though he lied? If the lying is caused by an underlying emotional problem, can we get past it together? We are very right for each other in so many ways. I don't want to give up but I don't want to get hurt over and over again. I know that deep down he is a very good person, but he gets completely overwhelmed by emotionally stressful situations and right now is the hardest for him with his dad being ill. I am willing to be the stronger party emotionally but not at the cost of my dignity and not if he will continue to lie under other stressful circumstances. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted September 2, 2001 Share Posted September 2, 2001 hey ... i've read most of your posts and ... why don't u just give him time?... relax ... let him worry about his dad ... and see what he does once that stress is more or less done with ... just distance yourself a bit ... the ball is in his court, isn't it? ... leave it up to him ... you have no way of knowing why exactly he lied ... but that means he doesn't want to be jumping into it, so why not let go a bit? it's not like u must get married by new year, right? .. if it's meant to be, it will work out ... if not - u'r better off distancing yourself & getting a life away from him anyway ... so ... ? ... if he contacts u, be supportive about his dad & all that, but dont mention marriage or anything ... but don't contact him yrself for a while ... just some thoughts ... good luck ... please guys, I feel all alone out here. I need to know what objective observers think. Can it be that he loves me though he lied? If the lying is caused by an underlying emotional problem, can we get past it together? We are very right for each other in so many ways. I don't want to give up but I don't want to get hurt over and over again. I know that deep down he is a very good person, but he gets completely overwhelmed by emotionally stressful situations and right now is the hardest for him with his dad being ill. I am willing to be the stronger party emotionally but not at the cost of my dignity and not if he will continue to lie under other stressful circumstances. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
unsure Posted September 2, 2001 Share Posted September 2, 2001 Thanks for taking the time. I agree that the ball is in his court, i also agree that giving him time is a good thing. it's difficult though not to get in touch, i have been cutting down slowly, only msgs asking about his dad and would never even consider bringing up marriage now. its not something i'm ready to go into unless he wants it a 100% and then again if i know that the lying is behind us. I need to try an dface things which i have avoided because when i do i break down. thanks again hey ... i've read most of your posts and ... why don't u just give him time?... relax ... let him worry about his dad ... and see what he does once that stress is more or less done with ... just distance yourself a bit ... the ball is in his court, isn't it? ... leave it up to him ... you have no way of knowing why exactly he lied ... but that means he doesn't want to be jumping into it, so why not let go a bit? it's not like u must get married by new year, right? .. if it's meant to be, it will work out ... if not - u'r better off distancing yourself & getting a life away from him anyway ... so ... ? ... if he contacts u, be supportive about his dad & all that, but dont mention marriage or anything ... but don't contact him yrself for a while ... just some thoughts ... good luck ... Link to post Share on other sites
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