catskill Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I need some help, I have a big problem. I am a married man and have been for 10 years. For the last 3-4 years I have been falling farther and farther out of love for her. We are still very good friends but I dont feel like I am in love with her any more. Ok, now what I need your help with. I met some one else. This person is so great I have been seeing her for about 5 months now and I really feel like I am in love with her. She makes me feel like im a kid again. I really see this woman in every thoght I have about me future. I have 30yrs of my life I will need to leave behind to be with her and of all the material things to leave, I could care less, my only concern is hurting my wife and leaving her by herself. Please help me and give me some advice. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
sandra Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 I kinda understand what you're going through but isn't that how most affairs are. You've been married for 10yrs!!! I'm sure you've been with your wife for so long because you love her. How long have you been with this new woman? Is this affair really worth losing a relationship you've built for so long? Take some time and think about this. Every new relationship is exciting, fun and wow sometimes. I don't want to judge you. I understand that you're so much into this new woman. If this new relationship doesn't last, is it worth losing your wife over? I don't know the situation between your wife and yourself but maybe imagining who you want to get old with will help. My mom tells me that after a certain number of years in marriage, that feeling of lust and excitment will fade. If that's how marriage is then maybe it will fade with this new woman too. But then again, this is just my view. It really breaks my heart to see couples breaking up after soooo long. Good luck, Hope things work out. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellFire Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Of course you are going to fall out of love when you don't WORK ON IT hard enough. But the same thing is bound to happen in your next relationship and the one after that. So is it really worth it to leave someone you love for a stranger in which the same cycle will repeat? If that's the case, then you should stay single and not marry until you are ready to deal with the realities of married life. Plus 5 months is a short period of time to know that it will work out and last long. Why don't you work up the balls to end your marriage before you cheat some more? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Does your wife know you met someone else? If not, tell her. Then, if she and you still want to, work on your marriage. If you do decide to work on the marriage, you will never, ever, be able to see or talk to this other woman again. Its the only way to be fair to your wife and yourself. Is this other woman married or single? Either way, tell the truth to your wife. She deserves to know about this, and how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
csfong007 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Do your wife a favor and leave her. She deserves someone so much better than you, scum bag. She deserves to find love and happiness and your staying married to her is preventing that. Go have fun with your new girlfriend and let your wife find some happiness without you. You aren't the only fish in the sea, scum bag. Link to post Share on other sites
Tell you how it is Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I think those who are answering that you should try to "stick it out" with your wife are insecure people. Remember, they're the same ones who would rather suffer and HOPE that things would work out. I'm not saying don't try to make things better, but I think you already made your decision. It's really just how you should break it to your wife. I don't think five months constitutes as a fling. In fact, five months is a pretty long time. The fact that you're hanging out with the new woman, and enjoying it, is proof that you know exactly what you're doing and more importantly, what you're getting yourself into. I commend that. Most people would rather live a so-so, COMFORTABLE, and CONVENIENT life, without taking risks. Those are the ones who never make it in this world and experience true happiness. Risks? Yeah, the new woman may not even last. But that's not the point. The fact is, you're not happy with your wife anymore. I suspect that you tried already (hopefully), but it's still not working. People (your wife) will never know and really understand what she fails to provide you until you're gone. It's true when they say that you don't know what you have until it's gone. The only thing i agree with with the others is that you should tell your wife. Don't waste her time, but more importantly, any more of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I personally think wasting her time is more important than wasting yours. You should have sacked up and left BEFORE you cheated. But by all means, leave the poor woman alone, she's better off without you. And just remember, if someone cheats WITH you, they will cheat ON you. So, good luck with all of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts