can i be forgiven?

[inmyheart]

I met my boyfriend at the beginning of this year, but it was at a time when I was going through a lot of personal problems which affected my performance at school (college). I decided to drop some classes and I told my boyfriend that I would but he freaked out on me, jumping to the conclusion that I would be dropping out of school altogether. He called me the next morning and appoligized, but still, it distorted the way I saw myself. Everything he said to me made me want to back away for a little. More stress, and I ended up dropping just one more class with thoughts of starting anew and fresh in the Fall semester. I never told him. He just pissed me off. But dropping some classes paid off. I got two A's that Spring, and maintained my GPA. Over the Summer we had some ups and downs but eventually we grew closer together. I had planned on getting all A's this semester and then show him at the end of the year that even his conclusions about a person can be wrong. But my conscience is getting to me very badly. I know that trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, so my conscience tells me that I should tell him as soon as possible, without delay. I know he will get upset, but I just don't know how to begin. This is the ONLY thing I've kept from him. If there are any males out there, please give me your perspective on this. I would really appreciate it....I just want to know if....can I be forgiven?

[Tony T]

You don't make it very clear what this important thing is you've got to tell him that involves trust. I've read your post six times and the only thing I can figure out is that you've got to tell him how well you're doing in school.

 

Both of you are pretty childish and immature. His jumping to conclusions about you dropping classes was immature and judgemental. He's not sufficiently grown up yet and doesn't have the depth of understanding required to see that this is not his concern. He'll grow up in time, just give him a chance.

 

The desire to run to somebody and show them they were wrong is also very childish and immature. You don't have to show anybody anything. You're a grown woman and you have shown you make excellent decisions for yourself. You need not prove your decisions to anyone. The fact that this troubles you so is troubling to me. This should be the most minor issue of your day.

 

The fact that you dropped even another class is none of his damned business. You act as if he is a parent, your student advisor, or the person who's paying your tuition. He's none of those. A boyfriend is one thing but what you do academically is YOUR BUSINESS. When you marry him, if you do, then it might be nice to tell him what classes you dropped. But this is NOT an important issue that affects your relationship. If the classes you end up taking or dropping in college is an important factor in your relationship, it is pretty sad and sorry.

 

However, if you are so hell bent on telling him how well you're doing, be mature about it and don't make a big issue of it. You'll never win any brownie points going around and shoving people's mistakes in their faces.

 

Just work it into a conversation, almost in passing, that you are acing all your classes and you are really happy you dropped those courses. End it right there...no further discussion.

 

It's time to be adult in these things...no offense intended.

 

I'm am very jealous of you if this is the most serious problem in your life right now!!!

[inmyheart]

Tony, after I read your response, I'm laughing at myself right now, and I'm also slightly embarassed, too. Embarassed because you make your point clear that I am totally frantic about an absolutely NOTHING issue. I am not taking anything to offense. Your opinion and perspective on this has opened up a new light to me that I honestly hadn't realized. I am young and am still learning about life. I thank you, dearly. ^_^