MakeMeBeautiful Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Question for both guys and girls. Guys: Have you ever been won over by a girl you initially did not want to be with? Girls: Have you ever changed a guy's mind about having a relationship with you? I know that most girls can learn to like a guy especially if he is persistent and nice but if a girl does the same thing she is considered desperate and does not achieve the same results. I have a friend who was able to win over a guy who did not initially want to be with her. She did nice things for him and his family and he began to care for her. Three years later they are engaged. Is this a rare case? You see I am in a situation where I care about someone a great deal and want him to want me. Here is the timeline of what happened: July 2005: Met him while I was home and spent two weekends together. August: I flew back and spent another long weekend with him. early September: He called to tell me that our relationship had to change because he was starting to see someone. I went on with my life and started dating someone else. He called me a month later and we talked as friends while I was seeing another guy and he was with another girl. We talk on the phone for several hours a day. November: I stopped seeing the other guy and he starts having problems with his gf. December: I go home to visit my family and we spend a lot of time together. I stayed with him for three straight days. January 2006: He breaks up w/ his gf. We talk all the time on the phone. He falls asleep to my voice every night. February 2006: He flies out to visit me over a long weekend. We talk all the time. He obviously enjoys spending time with me. But he doesn't want to be with me. How can I get him to want to be with me? I am nice to him. When he came out to visit me I cooked him breakfast every morning (isn't the best way to a guy's heart through his stomach?), I took him to red rocks amphitheater to play his guitar (a musician's dream), I got us tickets to a Coldplay concert...What else can I do? Or should I just give up because it is pointless? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperMonk Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 As a guy if I do not find the girl sexually attractive or even attractive in terms of having a personality that I liked, no matter how nice she is I will not see her in a romantic sense. This is the same "Nice Guy" or "Friends Zone" issue you've been hearing on the internet. Dunno, your gut says this guy is not worth your time. Listen to it. And I'm going to have to assume that this relationship between the both of you seem to be having is "long distance." which you neglected to mention, it's very important to mention details such as sex, age, or even distance in these posts for you to receive help. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Question for both guys and girls. Guys: Have you ever been won over by a girl you initially did not want to be with? yes and no. There was this girl in my class i did not notice at all. until half a semester later she did some things to get my attention and ended up chasing me. However we're still seeing each other and agreed to keep it casual, and since thats the case ill see other people also. like you, in the beginning i wanted exclusivity but she didnt, so why let this hold me back from pursuing other fish in the sea? in situations like these where 2 ppl arent in relationships, you really have no control over it. However if you want to be exclusive and he doesnt, its best to look elsewhere for someone that does. or cut contact. with either of these 2 days he might come around eventually. right now he's comfortable with what you 2 have going on and doesnt feel a need to jump into commitment cause it looks like as of presently you're still sticking around. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterflying Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I've never had any success making a guy interested in me when he wasn't interested. I have heard stories of people who succeeded at doing this. And I have been pursuaded to "love" a man whom I initially wasn't interested in. The man had a reputation for being a "womanizer." Right away, it was a turn off for me. He was also a different race than me. I had never dated outside my race. When we went out, he admitted to his promiscuous past. He told me that he regretted the way he lived his life and all the women he'd hurt in the past. After about four months of casually dating, I was convinced he was sincere. I became comfortable with the race thing. I started loving him. But it didn't last long. After about six months of being in love, I discovered that the entire relationship was based on lies. He had never changed from the person I initially thought he was. I ended up being on the loooong list of women he "fooled." Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 No, nobody who I have not been slightly sexually attracted to has ever changed my mind. This is bad I know but I was very young at the time. There were a few guys that tried and all they got from me was used. That is all that will likely happen with your relationship. He will take the booty, meals, and whatever when he feels like it. Also, being nice and chasing a guy never works. Link to post Share on other sites
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