why do men...?

[erica]

Why do men seem to take everything so lightly?

 

Why do women see so many layers to what their men say to them?

 

Is it true that men are basically simple creatures who are only concerned with sex, survival and sports?

 

I am in a long distance relationship with a man who has virtually stopped communicating his emotions with me. This is not a good sign to me because when we lived in the same state, he'd call and write to me every day and he'd tell me beautiful things about how he felt about me. Once a week we'd try to go out for lunch and once a month we'd share a long weekend together. Now, when we need to talk the most, he says (through email) that work is really bogging him down and not only is his mind clouded, but so is his heart. Warning flags went up immediately. I asked him what he meant by that and he has written very little since then, much less a direct answer. I'm in another country temporarily and do plan to see him in a couple of months.

 

So. Can anyone see into the future? Is this man moving on because we aren't having sex any more? Is work really enough to stop communicating with someone and to send mixed signals?

[Spacerat]

I am a guy and kinda went through the same problem, only it was my girlfriend who stopped the emotions. It doesnt mean that he is cheating on you, he could really be stressed and since your not there for him its hard for him to show his emotions. My problems were fixed when she came back, then her emotions came back. Maybe you need to visit him. Sorry i cant help you more, but through my experience its the fact that you arent there for him. It doesnt mean that he doesnt have emotions for you, he just might have trouble showing them now that your not here for him. Try and visit him and good luck.

[erica]

Spacerat,

 

It's nice to hear a male's point of view. I've been told to bail (not in this forum) and that's what i've been thinking about. But it's hard to give up on all the love we've shared and our incredible compatibility and the way we connected.

 

It's so hard to figure him out now, though. In the beginning of our long-distance relationship he was more communicative. Now it feels like an emotional desert. I try to write positive email to him and try not to drag in my personal fears, but I'd like some open, honest communication. I hate being a robot and just crank out the auto-pilot good girl letters. I'm being torn up inside and I deserve a decent reply.

 

I did put it to him at least once. He said he understood what I was saying and that he'd try harder and that he loves me so much... that gives me hope to hold on and then I hear so little real communication.

 

Your idea of visiting him making the difference is interesting and certainly in my plans, but how can I put aside the relationship and my needs until I can get time off and have money for the airline ticket? Is that what is necessary?

 

This is hard. Do I put the shields back in place to protect myself or do I leave myself vulnerable and hope for the best?

I am a guy and kinda went through the same problem, only it was my girlfriend who stopped the emotions. It doesnt mean that he is cheating on you, he could really be stressed and since your not there for him its hard for him to show his emotions. My problems were fixed when she came back, then her emotions came back. Maybe you need to visit him. Sorry i cant help you more, but through my experience its the fact that you arent there for him. It doesnt mean that he doesnt have emotions for you, he just might have trouble showing them now that your not here for him. Try and visit him and good luck.