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update on my aloof-boy


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Hello ...

 

Here i come again with more questions ...

 

I have talked to our common friend, and she said that

 

1 - he announced to all his friends that he's going out with me

 

2 - last time she asked him if me n him are together, he said 'sort of, it's complicated'

 

well - what can be complicated?

 

he asks me out, i say allright, make a few comments about him being desperate, also say that i need some time after my break-up (i've had a few weeks now, seems nuff to me)

 

SO i thought i pushed him away by those two things ... so I suggested getting together. He said sorry, he was busy that time. He did say when he is free, but didn't try to make any plans to see me since then.

 

I thought he changed his mind or something, but now that I hear he's been telling people he's 'sort of dating me', i'm confused ...

 

what's going on?

 

should i simply ask him that?

 

is he afraid to go ahead b/c of some of my comments?

 

(i count this as a possibility b/c he's pretty inexperienced love-wise)

 

also, in his friends' relationships, it's normally girls who wear the pants ... so maybe that's what he expects from me? (i wdn't mind, but i dont want to become the one courting him, not vice versa) ... he did say stuff like 'so where do we go from here? this is new for me ...' ... i dont know if this refers to going out with an ex-friend, or dating someone in general (hopefully not the last one)...

 

or is he simply not too interested & i should forget the whole deal?

 

he's friendly every time we chat on instant-messengers ...

 

i know you guys aren't psychic ... but what do u suggest i do? stay low & wait for his initiative?

 

he is being aloof & all that (tony's methods :) ), but i'm thinking it's for diff. reasons or something ...

 

Thanks ...

 

P.S. Another thing is he has mentioned he's been low on cash. However, as far as I know he has been going out with his friends ...

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If you don't even know whether you two are going out or not, the rest of the stuff doesn't even matter at this point.

 

You should KNOW the answers to these questions, without any doubt:

 

Are you two going out with each other?

 

Are you his girlfriend?

 

Are you two in an exclusive relationship or are you two seeing other people?

 

If you don't know the answers to any or all of the above questions, call him RIGHT NOW and ask him those very questions. Get a CLEAR ANSWER. Come back and tell us what he said.

 

If you don't even feel comfortable discussing the status of your relationship with him, you are with the wrong person.

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That's true sparkle, but the thing is - he's my dance-partner & a good friend, so if things were not to work out dating-wise, i'd wanna keep dancing with him. SO i try to avoid direct questions because they can make things awkward.

 

Considering the amount of time i've seen him lately, we're not going out at all. But he told his friends we are. That's why i'm confused. I will probably have no choice but to ask him next time we dance ...

 

Thanks for your advice.

If you don't even know whether you two are going out or not, the rest of the stuff doesn't even matter at this point. You should KNOW the answers to these questions, without any doubt: Are you two going out with each other? Are you his girlfriend? Are you two in an exclusive relationship or are you two seeing other people? If you don't know the answers to any or all of the above questions, call him RIGHT NOW and ask him those very questions. Get a CLEAR ANSWER. Come back and tell us what he said. If you don't even feel comfortable discussing the status of your relationship with him, you are with the wrong person.
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