Kinky Girlfriends, Jealousy, Love, and Skinny Boys

[electric_sheep]

This happened yesterday afternoon.

 

My girlfriend leaned over me while I was sitting at my desk to log in to her yahoo account, and I couldn't help but notice she had an email from on online friend of hers named Bobby. She has known Bobby longer than me, and met him through the same personal site where she met me. She has mentioned him briefly to me before. He is into S&M and is a foot fetishist. She tried to minimize the relationship before when talking to me about it ... saying it was just her engaging her curiosity.

 

Right after logging in her dad calls and she has to rush home right away because her cousin dropped by with her new baby. She leaves without logging out. Of course, I'm curious about Bobby, and I'm a snoop, so I start to read ...

 

She had stopped talking with Bobby after meeting me apparently, and he was curious as to what was up. They just recently started chatting again. I can tell they were in fact much better friends that what she had led me to believe. In fact, she feels bad because apparently she really hit it off with this guy, and didn't date him simply because he is kind of stocky. So she went out with me instead simply because I'm a skinny boy.

 

It gets more interesting though. My girlfriend is nothing if not kinky (hence her interest in this guys S&M side), and earlier in the day she had asked me if I wanted to paint her toenails. Yes, I'm a foot fetishest too. Weird, I know, but it is the most common fetish among men. Anyhow, apparently she had sent Bobby a couple of hot photos of her from Halloween, and now he was requesting foot photos. So of course after reading this, I realized she wanted me to paint her nails so she could go home and take photos of her feet for Bobby !

 

The crazy thing is I feel like I should be more jealous than I am (obviously I am a little bit ... enough to write this at least). Also considering the fact that she stays up late chatting with this guy.

 

Maybe it's because I know she really loves me, and this is just her being a flirt and a tease and seeking affirmation that her feet are cute ? It's interesting to think how capricious and up to chance relationships are though, isn't it ? Basically I'm dating her instead of this other guy because I've always been skinny and I run 3 or 4 times a week.

 

Perhaps it's just that I'm more realistic about the relationship ? She is such a realist, and things she has said have slowely chipped away at my sense of romance. Of course, I still care about her a lot, and enjoy the sex ... but that goofy romantic feeling has slowely dissipated.

 

I don't know. What do you think ? Should I be really bothered by this ? Or is this just innocent online fooling around ?

 

p.s.

If you can, please refrain from all the nasty comments about how much of a jerk I am for reading her e-mail. I know. I know. I'll say it here so you won't have to in your comments.

[JadeStar]

If shes dating you, then she shouldn't be conversing, sending pics or anything with this other guy. Shes being really disrespectful to you and the realtionship as a whole. Theres obviously some interest there or she wouldn't be sending him pics talking with him etc. You might want to get to the bottom of why she feels the need to do this.

 

 

 

 

 

Jade

[electric_sheep]

Thanks Jade.

 

My intuition told me that perhaps I should feel more jealous than I do. That's sort of unusual for me. I think you are right though, in a "normal" relationship this would be sort of weird. Something about it just doesn't feel right.

 

As for why she is doing it, I think I understand that ...

 

She doesn't have a job right now nor go to school. Also, she is sort of kinky and flirty and has sex on the brain a lot ... kind of like me. So, I think it is boredom more than anything else. She has virtually no "real life" friends other than me, only internet friends. She suffers from depression as well. This is her way of sucking up the hours in the day and having some human contact.

 

I gently guided the conversation towards this last night, mentioning I had noticed she had gotten an email from this guy. She actually confessed that he wanted some foot photos, so I have to give her credit for honesty.

 

Oddly, I think the fact that I'm NOT so jealous worries me more than anything. Is this a sign I just don't care as much anymore ? I think I may have fallen out of love. I have strong feelings for her, but something has changed. Maybe I am just putting some emotional distance between me and her ?

 

Then again ... maybe not. Maybe my attitudes and opinions have simply evolved into something new and more open ? Like I said, I don't really feel threatened by this guy. I think I have her hooked. Of course, those may be my famous last words.

[Sassy]

Why is she chatting with this man when she is with you? She has to be getting something emotionally from him to want to be chatting and sending pics to him. There is more to this than being just friends. Good Luck

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

I understand why your mad and why you were curious as to look at her emails. Suspicison someimte gets the best of you, unfortunatly, you have a reason to be suspicious. But how can you approach it? "Hunny, I read your emails and...I love you" The whole thing is going to get cancelled out due to her getting just as mad. I would definitly ask her about the toe nail painting incident. And is that why she wanted you to do it. Be calm tho....Nicely ask her why she's still talking to him ( you have to respect her for cutting that relationship off at the beginning of yours) You can't be controlling and tell her not to talk to him, but you would like it if she didn't. Good luck!

[lucid]

Wel.....she gets this phone call from her dad and rushes out to see her cousins baby....and she couldnt stop for 1 minute and shut her email?? It doesnt take that long to log out......

 

I am wondering if perhaps she might of left it up for you to find out for yourself....she didnt want to come right out and tell you she was conversing with other men so she left it up for you to "catch" her so to speak....to drag it out in the open.........

 

OOOORRRRR

 

She did it to make you jealous

 

OORRR

 

Maybe she is not hiding ANYTHING from you...those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.....right??? OBVIOUSLY she feels comfortable with you, and trusts you, and doesnt seem to be really hiding things from you or the first inclination would be to make sure to shut down the email and cover her tracks...You know how private the email account is to someone who is not living right......

 

OOORRRRR

 

Maybe she did close her email and you hacked into it..in which case, I would not bring up this friend but monitor the relationship FROM A DISTANCE....not up in her face accusatory......if you think that your fears are justified, go to her and confront her....but dont do anything until you know for sure....

 

Your jealousy seems healthy....it seems like the both of you are pretty in touch and comfortable....I dont think it is necessarily right for her to be flirting with other men,....but to each their own....as long as you dont have a problem with it....

[electric_sheep]

Oh God ... this has gone from no big thing to total sh*t.

 

I brought it up with her tangentally, without telling her I had seen her emails of course.

 

She bold faced lied to me.

 

She told me this guy did not request any photos till last night, whereas I saw the email with my own eyes where he requested them almost a week ago.

 

Then I went out of my way to give her a chance to come clean about it ... I gave her multiple chances, even telling her this was her big chance to "come clean" ... and she stuck with the lie the whole time.

 

This sucks.

 

I'd rather have a kinky honest girlfriend anyday over a kinky dishonest one !