Getting to know a shy guy

[SockGirl]

There's this person I share a class with, and, despite my best efforts to deter attatchment, I've fallen into a disgustingly overwhelming bit of unrequited love.

 

He's very shy, and the ultimate in intellectual. Our relationship mostly started because he thought I was funny, and I started teasing him repeatedly. This past year we've been in Psychology together, and we always end up arguing about the philosophical aspects of the course (our viewpoints seem invariably opposed). He would always come over to work with me when we had a group project or time in the lab.

 

So, because I decided that I'd rather be a good friend than pine indefinitely, I decided to invite him to my next group "party". The first time I tried was New Years, but he was on vacation. I lost my nerve for a while, and I invited him again for one I'm hosting on March Break. He seemed enthousiastic and agreed, and I thought that this was at least a sign that he didn't dislike me.

 

Unfortuneately, now I have no idea. We alternate between easy communication and awkward avoidance. He always avoids looking at me in the hallway when he walks by, unless I wave and then he gives a big smile. Later on the day that I invited him to the party, we passed each other on the street and he lowered his umbrella to cover his face so that I wouldn't see him. And yet, the next day he was friendly and smiling again. I just don't understand.

 

Now, I would understand if I was being overt with my feelings for him (I'm not attractive in the slightest), but I know that I'm not. I treat him the same as I do my other friends, and many people have remarked that they wouldn't know I had an interest in anybody, ever.

 

So why is he acting so weird? Sometimes I wonder if he wants to know me at all.

[TheSwordfish]

Maybe he's acting weird because he likes you.... beleive me, people are strange.... I don't understand the way woman act at all, and I gues its the same with men.

[Dinnj1]

He's very shy, and the ultimate in intellectual

 

= a nice guy.

 

you're a woman and women don't like nice guys. Spare his heartache... Skip the relationship and go straight to the break up. :p

 

actually... my real advice would be to suck it up... stop sweatin' it and approach him... in a subtle way. Flirt, smile, a lil' cleveage never hurt anyone, whatever... Just make him notice you.

[SockGirl]

I never got where that "women don't like nice guys" thing came from.

 

And, I guess I'll have to. I just don't want to make him feel awkward.

[pisces writer]

sometimes a shy can just be thoughtful, or in my case , weary

[monkey00]

Maybe he's acting weird because he likes you.... beleive me, people are strange.... I don't understand the way woman act at all, and I gues its the same with men.

 

A)

yes. i agree i think thats whats going on. it's called sexual tension (well thats what i call it, but in reality it usually occurs when shyness/nervousness/fear of rejection/worry about what to say... comes into play due to lack of confidence...it happens when the person doesnt want to do/say something stupid as a result of the attraction to the person and screw things up. this can also cause someone to look down/dart eyes away, because of fear of vulnerability.

 

B)

However there is also the opposite, i call it sexual disinterest. When one person feels one way (liking him/her), however the other does not possess mutual feelings. Both realizes that the other is not on the same page and often distance occurs/minimal to no contact. it makes it even harder for them to look each other in the eyes.

 

not sure if there was a need to break down the details...but hope it helps! As of now it appears difficult to decipher the situation. But since you already know he's shy, i would go with your gut and say it's choice A.