Guest Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 my boyfriend of 8 months proposed to me last June. he's 24, I'm 22. we fell fast and hard for each other, he pursued me, called me all the time, but i was reluctant because i knew that he was going to move to the opposite end of the country (military) soon. he was so insistent and i fell in love with him, so we gave it a shot. when he got his orders last june, he proposed and i freaked out. i cried and shook my head, not because Iididn't love him but because i felt so overwhelmed. he was very hurt and walked away. he wouldn't call me anymore, and when i met with him to talk, he was cold and withdrawn. i felt i was too young to get married and suggested a ldr but he didn't want to hear anything about that. he left six weeks after he proposed without even saying goodbye. i've missed him terribly and realize that i made a big mistake. now i'm trying to get him back. i've e-mailed him, and he's friendly, but just not the same as before. not all enthusiastic and crazy, more polite but cool. is he like this because i hurt him? my friends think i humiliated him when i said no to his proposal, because he told his family and friends that he would pop the question. i've apologized to him, but he now even denies that he was serious about the proposal. why does he say that now? everybody knew that he was serious. what can I do to get a second chance with him? he's on the opposite site of the country, so seeing him is hard. he also works alot. i can't believe how stupid I was. is there any chance i can get him back? what should i do? i write to him a lot and sometimes he responds sometimes he doesn't. is there any hope? please help me! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I think your first reaction was the right one. 22 is far too young IMHO to get married. There's a huge percentage of marriages that fail which start at such a young age. At this point he has to want to come back on his own. I wouldn't call or email all the time. Just write him one email explaining why you said no. If he believes you and wants to try again then you can go from there. The fact that he's shut you out means he's hurt but he's not handling it very maturely (which is a warning sign). Stop writing him so much. Just put out there why you declined the proposal and if he doesn't understand then there isn't much you can do about it. I'm a firm believe in gut feelings and if your gut told you to say no then there's probably a good reason. His maturity level is a warning that he's not ready to be a good husband. Are you ready to be married to this guy? Think about that for a while. Forget that you miss him or that you think you might have made a mistake. Just think about how he is acting and how he would deal with marital issues in general. Link to post Share on other sites
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