Is something wrong with me?

[the_alchemyst]

Hello everybody,

 

I've been visiting the site for several months now, but have only registered an account as of recently, hence this being my first post. Anyway, what drove me to *finaly* post this is that . . . I have a problem, and I really want to hear some advice.

 

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible:

 

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. However, we have known each other for a good 5 years, and it seems that we have both always had this "feeling" for the other. He claims that for him it was love at first sight, and well, for me it probably was too. The point is that we have apparently cared for each other (romantically) for a good 5 years.

 

We started dating two years ago. I am the first girlfriend he has ever had . . . and well, I have been his first everything. He has been by first everything too, with the exception that I had 2 boyfriends before him, neither of which were serious, and neither of whom I really cared for. They were just high school flings, pretty much (and even so, I never kissed either of them because deep down I knew I didn't have real feelings for them).

 

In the in between of these 2 years, we have broken-up (although he insistantly calls them "breaks") 3 times. The first rupture lasted for 1 week, the second for 2, and the thirds for 3 . . . months. I really thought the last one was the definitive because it was so long.

 

In those 3 months, we talked to each other (because we agreed we would be "friends"--you know, the age-old BS) for 2 or 3 times. Those few times were terrible, if anything, because he would say things to try to make me feel bad and jealous, and I would do the same. But then there was a hiatus, and we did not speak for over 2 months. Finally, on Christmas Eve, I broke the silence by sending him and his parents Chirstmas cards. On Chirstmas day, I called him to wish him a Merry Christmas. He cried.

 

He asked to see me, and I did. The following Tuesday, he asked me to forgive him and to give him another chace; I did. So now we are trying it yet again, but there are differences that are bothering me.

 

During our last break-up, he picked up drinking, and I can't stand that. I told him that he needed to stop. Now, I know this may seem selfish, but I don't think so because I was very frank: I told him I was not comfortable being with someone who drank, and so that if he did, we couldn't be together. By the same token, he told me I needed to stop smoking. We both agreed and promised to stop our vices. But last month, on the day before his birthday, he went to his friend's house and drank again. I got really pissed off because I have been upholding my end of the deal. Even though it was his birthday, I confronted him about it, and he cried and apologized, and promised to stop. He claims he hasn't drank since.

 

This all leads down to the fact that: I hate his friends. Not all of them, but most of them. The ones I can't stand are the ones who live near him, and they are the drinkers and the smokers. They all live together like rodents in this disgusting apartment. They are the ones he drank with. The reason why I really abhor one of them is because he was such an a**h*** to me during high school for completely unjust reasons, and I haven't forgotten. Apparently my boyfriend has, though, and a part of that notion, truthfully, bothers me.

 

Every time he goes out with them, he stays out until 2-4 in the morning, and I can't stand that. I get so angry. Every time he goes out with them, I get pissed off because I know it's them, and in turn, we always end up fighting. Hell, even when he mentions them I get pissed off.

 

This was not a problem before because he used to not hang out with them. It's only since this last break-up that he got all buddy buddy with them. He goes over about twice a week, to either just be there or because they are having parties, and there is something that bothers me about him going to parties by himself because I . . . argh. I don't know why, but it just does.

 

Lately I've been really thinking about us, and how different we are. I go to university, trying to major in psychiatry, and he dropped out of high school. And from thereon, the differences continue. It kind of pisses me off that he doesn't care about his future. Oh, yeah--come two years they'll be paying $25 an hour for cashiering. Ugh.

 

He genuinely is a nice guy. Apart from his adamant lazyness, he's not so bad. Oh, and he has these anger outbursts where he throws things and pushes me around . . . but that doesn't happen often, and he has never hurt me.

 

But I just hate those particular friends of his because they are a bunch of good-for-nothings. I can't stand them and I wish so direly that he would not hang out with them. Sometimes, he'll get home from work and he'll call me and he'll say, "Oh, I'm going to go to my friends house, okay? I'll call you when I get back," and I get so angry. He gets home really late, which also bothers me, and by that time I'm just all pissed off. AHH!

 

Oh, my . . . a little help, please? Is this like some form of extreme jealousy or what?

[bluechocolate]

Are you sure you two should be back together? Because I'm not.

[catgirl1927]

He "pushes you around"??? That's always how it starts. Get away from him. He's not good enough for you.