What do guys look for?

[Cool Chick]

Just curious, what sort of things do you guys find attractive in a women? I’ve read quite a bit on the topic the other way around, but not as much from the guys point of view. Do men like women who are self confident, or does that tend to turn you off? Is a tom-boyish personality fun, or do you guys like more feminine women? What are you guys thought on this?

 

 

CC

[Candied-Heart]

I'm not a man but my BF always has insight on this.

 

He always tells me that confidence to pluck up the courage to do things is sexy, yet cockiness, or that appearance of "I can have anyone.. I'm too good to talk to you" sort of deluded hotness is disgraceful.

 

As for physical and more general personality traits and appearance, it's always variable. Some men love ladylike women, some love outdoorsy athletes, some like bookworms. Most just fall for whatever you are and learn to love your traits - for lack of better expression.

 

Whilst most people will tend to have a certain 'type' they go for in the looks department, it is much harder to screen potential lovers by their job or personality etc, when looks are the first attracting quality when meeting a new potential love interest.

[7on]

yeah, it's always the confident, powerful woman that strikes my fancy. I really enjoy a woman who can be herself around me - dare I say - forget I'm a guy. However, I also reserve the opportunity to sweep her off her feet at a moment's notice to keep things as anti-platonic as possible. A lot of people are proponents of the "friend zone" - I'm not. I believe that one should be friends with a woman prior to being able to fall for her. Not necessarily buddy buddy friends but more like a friend you can talk to (about work, interests, etc.). If there's no romantic interest then friendship will be all that it will become regardless of the amount of "wooing" you try. If a woman says "she'd rather just be friends" it means she doesn't see a future with you. Now where am I? Oh yes.

 

I'm prolly the worst person to ask since I don't look for women - I just let life take it's course and if someone I happen to like falls into my life then great. But like I said - she has to confident and her own woman. And she has to have a sense of humor.

 

Physically she just has to look good. I think it has to do with proportions or something officially. And symmetry. At least for me it does, other guys will probably have more precise tastes.

 

I'm prolly not that good on this subject.

[greenshift]

Attraction:

 

1. Someone who looks like they aren't trying too hard. If a woman appears to have spent five hours preparing for a night out, I steer clear.

 

2. Body. Obviously, men are very visual. But it doesn't mean she has to have enormous breasts that you can see from across the river, or a posterior that's made of granite. Thin is better than not, but Kate Moss makes me ill. I prefer the fast-metabolism-but-doesn't-work-out type. The others are great eye candy, but I don't want to spend my life on a treadmill.

 

3. Smell. If a woman smells great - and perfume doesn't cut it the way a natural pheremone match will - I'm silly putty.

 

4. Smile. Look happy - it's contagious.

 

That's really it. And, most of all, look approachable. Check out the room now and then, make eye contact with people. Be a genuinely nice person.

 

That's all I've got. =)

[pisces writer]

I prefer eyes, intelligence and wit

[Admiral Thrawn]

Just curious, what sort of things do you guys find attractive in a women? I’ve read quite a bit on the topic the other way around, but not as much from the guys point of view. Do men like women who are self confident, or does that tend to turn you off? Is a tom-boyish personality fun, or do you guys like more feminine women? What are you guys thought on this?

 

 

CC

 

Physically I like an olive-skinned complexion woman, that could be a shade darker or lighter, with nice long hair you can play with, and that exuberates a youthful look and feel. A feminine woman is certainly better than a tom-boy, and she must be smaller than me. She must be slim, or if she is a bit chubby, she must have large breasts to compensate for that.

 

Depending on what my goals are, whether it is casual or long term, then then the personality, depth, intellect, and spirituality would come into play in varying degrees of importance. On a casual bend, looks take up 80%, while internal attributes would probably take 20% (to the extent she is not a bitch and not into anything bad). On a long term bend, probably looks and internal attributes would go 50/50.

[Cool Chick]

Thanks for all the input!

 

I’m asking because I find myself at a strange point in life, trying to figure some things out.

 

My school days were spent being horribly bullied so by the time I emerged I had absolutely no self-esteem whatsoever. I was bullied because I was shy, different and would not follow the crowd. I marched to my own drumbeat so to speak. I did the things I wanted and was tormented for it. I was also a tad overweight and had no sense of fashion style....so I was a target in that regard as well. It was NOT fun and I wouldn’t wish grade school on my worst enemy. I would literally shy away from people and try to make myself seem as small as possible so as not to draw attention to myself....because attention of course meant bullying.

 

Thankfully things started changing in University. Wow, I could actually be myself and wasn’t put down for it! I joined an athletic sport and over time my self image has changed, I actually have a little fashion sense and I enjoy being around people again. The problem is, I’m still horribly anxious when getting to know people, guys in particular. I’m very comfortable with my friends, but until I get to know someone I’m sure I seem closed off and distant. This has really put the breaks on many a potential date and I would really like to work on becoming more approachable, and then not throwing the walls up once I start talking to a guy. It’s quite confusing really, as if the guy is only talking to me on a friendship level, I’m fine, it’s when they start showing more than a friend interest that I start backing off. It’s like that final last protective wall I have to break through. …so I’m looking for some advice on how to do that. Maybe a crash course on flirting 101?

 

Sorry if this is a bit long....I hope it makes some sense to some people out there that may also have been through similar experiences and managed to overcome them.

 

CC