sandra Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Hey everyone! To update those of you who're familiar with my situation, I had broken up with my boyfriend of 3 yrs because he was talking to this girl which he wanted to keep a secret. I knew about her because I was listening to his messages ( he doesn't know I do that) and I gave him so many chances to tell me the truth. I don't think anyone else would have given him as many chances as I have. I went real far!! Anyway, it was nagging me so bad that he kept her a secret to make the long story short, I told him I called and talked to her and know who she is. He said he met her at his friend's house party which I decided not to go to. He said that the girl got his number from the friend's girlfriend and started calling him. He didn't explain much. I wanted to know why he didn't mention her, and he said he forgot ( always gets anmesia when confronted )! This is his second time in 3 yrs since he's been interested in talking to other girls. I keep on telling myself that he's been doing it because we've been having problems but I am so confused right now. Do y'all think that I should give him a second chance? My girlfriend thinks that I should move on and leave him. Is it normal for guys to be doing what he's done or am I being real possesive. He promised that he'll tell her that he can't talk to her no more. But that kinda sounds like he's doing it for me and not because he actually doesn't want to talk to her anymore. I keep on asking him like 20 questions about her and why he lied about this and that. I still have so many unanswered questions that I want to ask him but I feel like I'm nagging him. Is what he's done considered cheating? And if so, am I being real easy to go back into this relationship? What should I do? I'm sure I sound real confused. Help needed PLZ!! Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I think this is kinda fishy. I'm not sure I'd waste any more time on this one. If he's not cheating, he sure is acting funny. The whole scenario just smells. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 "This is the second time in 3 years he has been interested in talking to other girls." You're asking if you should take him back, what do you think? This doesn't sound good, and he has proven that not only is he interested in other girls, but he wants to keep it a secret as well. That should speak volumes to you. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Coming from a guy, there is nothing wrong with talking to anyone regardless of gender. Talking to another girl that one is interested in is a prelude to POTENTIAL trouble. Does he want a relationship with them or just leading them on? Regardless of those reasons, it is a bad sign. The other question is can he look but not touch; how is his self control? Some guys do not have control. In all honesty, let him go, don't waste time on him while he goes find himself or soak his oats. If you two get back together, at least both of you have a better understanding of knowing what each other wants and needs. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 What sounds so suspicious is that he keeps it secret. You only keep things a secret if there is a secret to keep. Something is going on here, he's not just friends with them. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 "I keep on asking him like 20 questions about her and why he lied about this and that. I still have so many unanswered questions that I want to ask him but I feel like I'm nagging him. " Schedule a time to talk with him and ask him all the questions you have and can possibly think of. One shot. Get everything out then and there and NEVER bring it up again. You have a lot of questions and he's surely getting tired of answering them all so it's the fairest thing to do for both of you. If his answers satisfy you and you really want to, try the relationship again. If they don't, you know what to do. Good Luck:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
bigbrowneyes Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 All I have to say is...those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing! My X did this too...and let me tell you...I found out later that he spent 6 years of our relationship calling other women without my knowledge. I found this out during our last year together after investigating his cell phone bill. When I contacted these other woman, they all said that my X tried to get them to meet him out all the time...late at night. And 3 of the woman actually slept with him. Two of the woman were already married...and one of the married woman slept with him throughout our entire relationship. Crushed me!! Save your heart...leave now! As an FYI, we broke up and got back together for another 18 months...and you know what...he did it again. BIG surprise huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sandra Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks everyone for helping out. I've sat him down and asked him all the questions that I have and I've decided to give it one more try. I know I'm setting myself up for more disappointment but I need to try one more time so I can move on. Does that make sense?? They say cheaters always mess up so he'll do eventually and give me solid proof. I had no idea breaking up with someone you love and been with for so long could be so hard. Letting go is the hardest thing I had been struggling with. I'll have my eyes and ears open and if it happens again, I won't even look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Once cheater always a cheater, if he can cheat this time, he'll cheat again...you should move on. There's alot of nice guys out there... Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I know I'm setting myself up for more disappointment but I need to try one more time so I can move on. Does that make sense?? They say cheaters always mess up so he'll do eventually and give me solid proof. I had no idea breaking up with someone you love and been with for so long could be so hard. Letting go is the hardest thing I had been struggling with. I'll have my eyes and ears open and if it happens again, I won't even look back. Sadly I do know what you mean. Sometimes the only way to learn is thru experience ~ even when you can already predict the outcome. I hope things do work out for you this time though ~ much luck again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sandra Posted March 8, 2006 Author Share Posted March 8, 2006 Thanks LexiB. It's so funny that I'm actually expecting to be cheated on and I'm sorta waiting for it to happen so I can move on. I'm trying to deal with it and I guess time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
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