Shicoal Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Comming from a divorce family and one of 11 children which includes step, half and full relations amoungst one another. I have been threw the worst of the worst family situations. First off you have an obligation to your children and they should and always be priority over anything else including your bf! Now he is putting you threw a whole lot because of his children being very destructive. How children react, behave, respond to there surroundings and people. Is what they are shown or have been exposed too. Being there step mother you can only do so much! Because you are not there biological parent you have no say so as to what is going to happen with the kids overall, that's reality! If your bf loves you and he wants to marry you and live a wonderful and fulfilling life with you, he has to get his *hit togeather! He has to be firm with both his kids and the mother. Find out why his children are being the way they are, knowing what his children's surroundings are like with the mom. You as the step mother also have rights in your home to lay down rules in the house! Speak to your bf about this and give him the ultimatium of shaping out to be that father. Or you will leave to raise your children on your own because this is not a situation that you have to be married into and live miserable for the rest of your life! It starts with him and if he can't deal and work with disciplining and guiding his kids especially pushing it on the mother. Then it ain't gonna be better in the future because your not living your dream with him but rather a living nightmare. I'd say let him know how you feel and what he should do and give him that choice. DO NOT get married anytime soon he has to do a consistent guidence for his kids involving his mother to the best he can. If the mother puts in 0 effort well if you want to make difference and set those rules for his kids on a daily basis. Let him have full custody of the kids and you lay down your rules and working with him to raise the kids in a fashinable manner as they are still young to learn and know of that. So they don't end up being bums when they grow up....Good luck to ya! Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 As one, I can say that being a non-custodial parent is tough. You get two days every two weeks, which makes effective discipline very difficult. The kids know after a day or two it will be over. This is mostly a problem with teens though. Younger kids shouldn't be so hard to discipline. Doesn't he watch them at all? How do they manage to get into so much stuff? If he just let's them run free and the mother has loose discipline also, I'd say you're better off staying out of this. Maybe when you're walking out the door he'll decide to do something about it. Regardless, you can't shape kids behavior with only two days every two weeks, especially when they're this far gone. And my wife thinks she has it bad with my son sneaking some of his stuff back to his moms and being passive aggressive on occasion. Link to post Share on other sites
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