I broke her heart but made a mistake now what?

[shawn2730]

I broke the woman of my dream's heart. I love her so much and have loved her since day one like no one i have ever known. I did something really stupid..OUr communications had been breaking down. Fewer phone calls, fewer text messages, the emails slowed then stopped. BUT we still talked everyday and sometimes several times a day. I panicked. I did something really stupid. I read her email..ok so that was bad but not something that most people wouldn't do...it gets worse, I was worried we were drifting apart so i created a fake person to check out what was going on based on a guy she had emailed. I felt so ashamed and dirty after, but the email had already been sent. Bottom line is, she knew right away and now her trust and heart were broken.

 

I panicked again, knowing I had screwed up and of course I lied to cover it up but eventually came clean. I told her everything, owned up to it, Apologized profusely. She hates me understandibly... I hate me too. What I did was so uncharacteristic of me. i dont know what got into my mind.

 

I love this girl more then life itself. I have been very good to her with this exception but I ruined our whole relationship. I want her back so bad I'd do anything. I realize There is a snowballs chance in hell of that happening BUt I want her to know how horrible I feel for what I did. How empty I feel for losing her. and How sorry I am it happened. GOD I HURT SO BAD!

 

I know it is a lost cuase but how can I tell her or show her how I feel and expect her to believe it.

[Jools]

Mate, we all do stupid things and yeah that was a pretty bad one. She is going to feel violated and that how can she trust you again after you've betrayed it.

 

I wouldn't say that this isn't rescuable though, although only you will know for sure from how she is with you now. How long ago did this happen? Has she calmed down at all or shown any signs of hope?

 

I think after a betrayal of trust its going to be difficult to say the least, but if there is a chance then you just have to do whatever you can to let her know how you feel about her, that you deeply regret what you did and that it was a moment of madness etc. Although i would be careful not to smother the poor girl as, too much could just push her further away. It will also depend on what history you have, have you been together a long time and has it been great? Or are you still relatively early on in the relationship?

 

It wont be easy but if there's a good history behind you and if there seems to be some hope (may take a while for her to show this tho, she'll have to calm down a bit) then its possible to rescue relationships from bad situations like this.

 

Good luck mate.

[shawn2730]

thank you. Thank you for the response. God I hope you are right, that there is some chance. I'd do anything to make her understand how badly I feel for what I did and just how much she means to me. I am worried, scared actually that I won't get that chance.

[Jools]

Theres no guarantee but there could be a chance, but like i say, only you will know if there is a chance, through how she is with you and what she says etc. If she seems open to maybe taking you back, then just go for it, let her know how much you regret what you did, that your sorry and just try and make her feel special again. It may take a long time and be a hard task but equally, you have to accept that there may be a chance that she wont want to give things another go. I say this coz i dont want you getting your hopes up too much only for another fall. Just have to accept it could go either way.

 

I've not been in the same situation as you, but have been in a totally different one but still where i was hoping to get another chance with someone. All i can say is i feel for you and what you must be going thru waiting and hoping to have another chance with her.

 

I wish you all the best m8 and hope everything works out for you.