MikeViper Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I'm working on improving myself and one problem that I've noticed, is that I'm extremely insecure and I'm always worrying about what other people think about me. I'm always thinking about, "What will he/she think if I do this?" or "Is he/she thinking/saying bad things about me?" and this is definitely a problem, because I'm so worried about what others think about me, that I can just never be happy with myself. I try telling myself that it doesn't matter what unimportant people think and that there are more important things to worry about, but in the end, I'm still insecure. Secondly, I just can't keep a good conversation, not just with women, but with people in general. For instance, when I want to meet someone I don't know, maybe even a girl I like, I can approach them just fine, but when it gets to actually talking to them, that's where I fall. I'll go up to them, ask them their name and say "How's it going", but after they respond to that, I usually can't think of anything else to say and the conversation ends in an awkward silence. This is especially a problem with women, because I can't expect a girl to become attracted to me, if I can't even carry a decent conversation with her. This how a typical approach would probably go, if I approached a random person, who I wanted to get to know: Me: Hey, what's your name? Person: [Name] Me: That's a cool name. I'm Mike. Me: So, how's it going, [Name]? Person: [Responds] Me: Ah, I see. [After that there's usually an awkward silence and then I just leave. I don't even get rejected, I just leave because I can't think of anything else to talk about.] I see tons of guys, approaching the same girls that I approach, but instead those guys are actually getting the girl to laugh and are building interest with her. That's the kind of guy I want be. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 i used to be in a similar hole myself. The best method i've discovered to overcome this is to ...treat them like a friend! behave with them as if you've known them for years. Dont set high expectations and just enjoy the convo with them. i think the problem might be that you're too concerned about the outcome and worry about saying something to screw it up. girls dig a guy that knows how to enjoy himself...without having that awkward vibe there that happens to you. be funny, charming, tease them, touch (kino) in a playful manner. Enjoy youre time iwth them. ...and hey if they reject you, just move on, there are plenty fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I would think of things that interest you and see if they interest her : Be ready with some ideas before you approach her. Everyone goes through this , really they do. I would get her started on asking her what she does for a living or what she does for fun and make her guess what you do or what you like. ? Get her thinking and above all be relaxed. Pretend like she is your sister and you are not out to impress her. And focus on HER instead of YOU and how nervous you feel. Many posters have suggested this for shy guys. If you do some research on alot of subjects you will be more likely to have something to talk about Link to post Share on other sites
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