Marriage problems

[Laurie]

I have been married for 2 years. I love my husband dearly, he would do anything for me! He works a lot!! I have a brand new house and have a brand new car. We get along great and he is the love of my life, except there is one problem: We only have intercourse once every 2-3 weeks and when we do it is for HIS pleasure. I have tried talking to him about it and nothing changes. I have found myself being attracted to other men because I am needing a mans touch! I am afraid I might find myself going out to find this need. Any advice???

[Tony T]

Absense of libido or interest in sex can have many causes, from stress (job, finances, physical ailments, etc.); use of certain medications; excessive masturbation; psychological issues from the past; lack of sufficient visual or other stimulation, lack of certain vitamins, etc. etc.

 

Don't blame yourself for this. It's actually quite common. The more you press your husband for sex, the less he will respond. This is a serious issue that requires immediate attention to save your marriage since sex is very important to you.

 

First, he should get a complete physical and rule out any physical or biological causation. All things ruled out, then he should see a competent psychologist or sex therapist for help.

 

If he doesn't want to seek help, then you need to carefully review the marriage. One of the things we rightly expect when we marry is a satisfactory sexual relationship. Absent that, there is an absolute right to disolve the union.

 

Do not seek an affair at this time as this will add a whole new dimension to this already serious problem. Resolve the first issue now. If you are not able to handle this to your satisfaction, then take whatever measures you feel in your heart are necessary to free you to seek out the sexual fulfillment you sought in this marriage.

[Laurie]

Thanks so much for your advice! I needed that!

Absense of libido or interest in sex can have many causes, from stress (job, finances, physical ailments, etc.); use of certain medications; excessive masturbation; psychological issues from the past; lack of sufficient visual or other stimulation, lack of certain vitamins, etc. etc. Don't blame yourself for this. It's actually quite common. The more you press your husband for sex, the less he will respond. This is a serious issue that requires immediate attention to save your marriage since sex is very important to you.

 

First, he should get a complete physical and rule out any physical or biological causation. All things ruled out, then he should see a competent psychologist or sex therapist for help. If he doesn't want to seek help, then you need to carefully review the marriage. One of the things we rightly expect when we marry is a satisfactory sexual relationship. Absent that, there is an absolute right to disolve the union.

 

Do not seek an affair at this time as this will add a whole new dimension to this already serious problem. Resolve the first issue now. If you are not able to handle this to your satisfaction, then take whatever measures you feel in your heart are necessary to free you to seek out the sexual fulfillment you sought in this marriage.