skinut2234 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 OK one question for the married guys. If you can change ONE thing, (just one) about your wife, what would it be? Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 My God - why do you even need to ask?????? Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 If it would change her from who she is to someone she's not at this time, not a thing. I married the whole woman. That's who I fell in love with. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Into an honest person who will never cheat again and not want to either. Link to post Share on other sites
KonRyuu Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 If I really wanted my wife to change anything about herself, I guess then I shouldn't be married to her eh? Everything has a ying and a yang in life, you have to take the good with the bad, that's the decision you make when you get married, you agree to accept eachother for who eachother are. If you are really that miserable with who you married or wanted something to change, maybe you should have waited to get married first, which is what I used to think about my wife and I, not now, but that just goes to show how things change. Let me tell you, if you've ever seen the movie Alfy, if you're that afraid of commitment, just watch that flick and it might make you change your mind. I'm one of those people who always has to have someone around to cuddle, hug, and love. I don't feel like being alone for the rest of my life. You know, the greatest gift God gave to men was the ability to love and fall in love, I take advantage of that every day with my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 As cal gal said, why do you need to ask? Yes, the one holy grail of life...sex. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 As cal gal said, why do you need to ask? Yes, the one holy grail of life...sex. yep, that was my thought exactly, even as a woman.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinut2234 Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 hey look- I am not trying to start a huge debate..... but let's be realistic. I agree- you marry that person for who they are (same as I did)-but you mean to tell me that we all don't develop bad habits and change in a negative way? Is it not our (meaning either man or woman) responsibility to keep each other in "Check" and communicate throughout a marriage when things make us unhappy,.... Seems that those who have replied just "accept" what is and move on (even if they are unhappy) I am not one of those people- If I have suddenly changed for the worse and have made my spouse unhappy- I want to KNOW about it!- I want her to tell me so I recognize it and can do something about it- Isn't that what teamwork is all about??? Part of that process is being receptive as a partner to things your spouse has to say... Listen with an open mind, and try and get a sense of what he/she is telling you..... am I that off base??? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 So, Skin- what ONE thing would you change about your wife? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I don't think changing one thing about someone means you don't love them. I know there are things my BF would change about me, and there are a couple of things I'd change about him. They're not big, personality configuration kind of things, just little annoying ideosyncrasies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinut2234 Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 Honestly? Her attitude... (her lack of drive and willingness to make an effort in our relationship)- She is only 34 and just thinks that this is how it has to be. Link to post Share on other sites
carmaenforcer Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Hey skinut2234, this is a good question. Something sexually is a given, my woman doesn't like to give head and you can imagine how much I miss getting head all the way, to finish. But if I would change some thing about her not related to sex, it would be her inability to think for herself when she's around her best girl friend. God I'm beginning to hate that girl. I'll have to start a hole other thread for that subject though I don't want to bring this one down. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Honestly? Her attitude... (her lack of drive and willingness to make an effort in our relationship)- She is only 34 and just thinks that this is how it has to be. Wow - that is a tough thing to change... as it is just how someone naturally is - I believe from birth. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Honestly? Her attitude... (her lack of drive and willingness to make an effort in our relationship)- She is only 34 and just thinks that this is how it has to be. Hey Skin lets swap spouses..... they can live in zombie marital bliss together Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I would want her to stop allowing our children to walk all over her. She really needs to put her foot down on this one. When I'm home, they straighten right up. No matter how much I stick up for her, and demand these guys follow her rules and requests, it doesn't do a lick of good if she doesn't enforce them herself. She's waaaaaaay to deserving for our kids to take advantage of. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 You predicate that upon you having changed which would indicate that there is NOW something about you that she's not legally married to because it wasn't there then. That's a whole different ballgame and the question would then be, "What would you like to change BACK about your spouse?" I stand by my original response! Link to post Share on other sites
carmaenforcer Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 It is expected that people change during the course of a relationship. The person you marries core self should remain the same but some things will change no matter what. Women tend to get more sexual in their thirty-something's, my ex did and a couple of my guy friends Wives did as well. Then there is menopause, the big change, I know that these can be argued to be physiological natural changes that the person has no control over but the with them come behavioral changes that can and should be checked and controlled. Us men also change during the coarse of our lives, we may become more responsible, more patient, in our old age, some men become mean and uncaring, bitter or uncompromising. The man or woman you marry will not be the same person you raise your grandchildren with. It's natural to change, it is up to us to want to change for the better and give our mate a reason to stay married to us, not be stuck with the person you married's bad traits. You can not tell the person you married, this is the way I was before we got married so now your stuck with it, without change there is no growth, without growth a relationship will not survive. Link to post Share on other sites
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