hails_storm Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Everyone's heard the classic delema of a girl who has a boyfriend who seems to be just a little too close to a friend (thats a girl) - but i'm having a hard time finding advice for that friend, who knows that maybe the relationship seems a little odd but doesn't know what to do. I've known "Dave" since i started school 2 years ago. We are best friends and completely inseperable. We feel very comfortable around eachother, and people who don't know us sometimes think that we are dating. Although in the past there has been sexual tension between us, we've both managed to get over that and move on with our friendship Lately Dave's friends (and girlfriend) have been getting pretty upset with me. Having tickle fights, giving eachother back massages and falling over eachother when we're drunk - has, i guess, crossed the line. Untill now i haven't thought that there was anything wrong with our relationship, but people have started talking and rumours and started flying what should i do? Is it time to let this friendship cool off? Is there acctually something more going on that i'm not aware of? or is everyone else just over reacting? any advice would be much appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Lately Dave's friends (and girlfriend) have been getting pretty upset with me. Having tickle fights, giving eachother back massages and falling over eachother when we're drunk - has, i guess, crossed the line. You guess? Is it really that difficult for you to put yourself in her place & imagine what you'd feel like? Why doesn't Dave dump the g/friend & go out with you (if you're interested, that is)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hails_storm Posted March 5, 2006 Author Share Posted March 5, 2006 The thing is.. im not interested. I like us the way we are, i just don't know if it's possible for a girl and a guy to be close friends without causing a scene Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 I would put myself in her shoes. Sure its fine and dandy to be friends with a member of the opposite sex, but think about how you would feel if you saw your boyfriend falling all over his "best friend" at a party while drunk, or otherwise having tons of contact with her that generally only sigothers do for eachother. I would say hold back on the touching, and see what happens there. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Plenty of men & women are 'just friends' & have partners without causing a scene. I think it's called appropriate behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 The thing is.. im not interested. I like us the way we are, i just don't know if it's possible for a girl and a guy to be close friends without causing a scene 'the way you are' is inappropriate. he has a girlfriend. you need to back off. i have been in a similar situation to you (minus the falling on top of him, back massaging, tickle fighting part) and had a very close male friend whom, other people assumed, i was dating. sex got in the way. he wanted it, i didn't. it finished the friendship. it doesn't matter that you aren't into him. i'd bet he likes you. boys don't tickle girls senseless if they're not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 guys don't hang around just because. I have a girl whom I'm was interested in and she gave mixed signals. Said no but her actions spoke otherwise. I pursued her since I've met her. She has crossed the line a few times and I did pursued her, we talked and she wanted space, and now we are not talking to each other. It is not easy for friendship when one has the hots for the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Its incredibly cruel and selfish for you to display some of your *behavior* in front of his girlfriend. You cannot possibly imagine how much that hurts her. We can suggest you both seperate your friendship but that might not likely happen. Just try to understand for one moment how the other girl feels. Step back. Link to post Share on other sites
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