somebody here once said ...

[yes]

that some people seek relationships because they need a reason to live ... and somebody here once said that that's a very bad reason to look for relationships ...

 

i personally find that the relationships i have with people (not necessarily romantic) is what keeps me going ...

 

people out there, what else gives meaning to your life? what keeps you going on? don't tell me it's career goals ... or is it? what else?

 

Thanks ... any comments will be appreciated!

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "what else gives meaning to your life?"

 

1. Vanilla flavored milk recently introduced at the supermarket.

 

2. Not being bitten by a shark while swimming in the ocean.

 

3. Air conditioning on a hot day.

 

4. Getting three or more numbers on one lottery ticket.

 

5. Having all my pictures turn out good on a roll of film.

 

6. Accidentally running a traffic light and not being spotted by a cop.

 

7. Having a nice conversation with a female with a very sexy voice who reached my phone by accident.

 

8. Going out for breakfast on a Saturday morning somewhere that serves fresh squeezed orange juice.

 

9. Mailing stuff in time to get it out the same day.

 

10. Finding out I have more money in my checking account than I thought.

 

11. Watching Jay Leno when Salma Hayek is a guest.

 

12. Having my cat go a full week without puking fur balls.

 

13. Walking along the beach on a cool, breezy evening.

 

14. Hanging up on one of hundreds of calls I get every week wanting to speak to the person in the family who deals with long distance.

 

15. Having a restaurant chef cook my eggs exactly the way I like them.

 

16. Finding a CD that has an old song on it I loved but thought I'd never hear again.

 

17. Filling my tank up with gas after the price has gone down ten cents a gallon.

 

18. Anything containing pecans...ANYTHING.

 

19. Going to a club and spotting a great looking female who knows me but hasn't seen me in a long time.

 

20. Using my computer for an entire session without having to reboot.

 

21. Having someone I haven't talked to in a long time pop up on my instant message buddy list.

 

There are so many things that give my life meaning. Gee, it's just so hard to decide which are most important.

[yes]

All those are great ... and i could make a list like that too, on a good day ...

 

but don't you feel like you need a more global meaning? a goal? so u'r not floating thru yr life, but living it? directing it?

YOU ASK: "what else gives meaning to your life?" 1. Vanilla flavored milk recently introduced at the supermarket. 2. Not being bitten by a shark while swimming in the ocean. 3. Air conditioning on a hot day. 4. Getting three or more numbers on one lottery ticket. 5. Having all my pictures turn out good on a roll of film. 6. Accidentally running a traffic light and not being spotted by a cop. 7. Having a nice conversation with a female with a very sexy voice who reached my phone by accident. 8. Going out for breakfast on a Saturday morning somewhere that serves fresh squeezed orange juice. 9. Mailing stuff in time to get it out the same day. 10. Finding out I have more money in my checking account than I thought. 11. Watching Jay Leno when Salma Hayek is a guest. 12. Having my cat go a full week without puking fur balls. 13. Walking along the beach on a cool, breezy evening. 14. Hanging up on one of hundreds of calls I get every week wanting to speak to the person in the family who deals with long distance. 15. Having a restaurant chef cook my eggs exactly the way I like them. 16. Finding a CD that has an old song on it I loved but thought I'd never hear again. 17. Filling my tank up with gas after the price has gone down ten cents a gallon. 18. Anything containing pecans...ANYTHING.

 

19. Going to a club and spotting a great looking female who knows me but hasn't seen me in a long time. 20. Using my computer for an entire session without having to reboot. 21. Having someone I haven't talked to in a long time pop up on my instant message buddy list. There are so many things that give my life meaning. Gee, it's just so hard to decide which are most important.

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "don't you feel like you need a more global meaning? a goal? so u'r not floating thru yr life, but living it? directing it?"

 

Go rent the movie "Forrest Gump"...watch the whole thing. Then ask this question again.

 

Making goals sounds nice on the surface but they can set you up for grave disappointment and feelings of failure if not met.

 

Each of us is the architect of our own destiny and each must be true to himself in how he lives his life and sees it through to that end.

 

"A good traveler has no particular destination and is not intent on arriving." -Zen saying.

[arthropod]

in my opinion, relationships are a BONUS in life. you need to find happiness with yourself. i never understood why people try to figure out "why we're here" and "what our purpose is" . . . WHO CARES?!!! the fact is, we ARE here, so we need to take advantage of that, and just BE! don't get me wrong, it would be HORRIBLE to have no friends or others in our lives, but you'll enjoy those relationships MUCH more when you're happy with and ENJOY yourself!

that some people seek relationships because they need a reason to live ... and somebody here once said that that's a very bad reason to look for relationships ... i personally find that the relationships i have with people (not necessarily romantic) is what keeps me going ... people out there, what else gives meaning to your life? what keeps you going on? don't tell me it's career goals ... or is it? what else?

 

Thanks ... any comments will be appreciated!

[yes]

I see what u'r saying.

 

But ... when everything in your life goes bad ... what keeps you going? i doubt it's the vanilla milkshake ...

 

i feel like if i'd have a goal, or even a realistic dream (same thing? ), it would make me want to get out of the bad times and go on ...

 

dont u feel like u'r hiding from reality when u enjoy those 'lil things in life'? don't u avoid Qns just because they make u down & u doubt u can ever answer them?

 

i have periods of such floating too. but after a while, i inevitably come back to 'what the hell am i doing here', 'why do i go on and on and on'... 'why do i want this stupid university degree'...'WHO CARES' ... u get the picture, right?

 

Thanks for your comments though ... i like that zen saying...

YOU ASK: "don't you feel like you need a more global meaning? a goal? so u'r not floating thru yr life, but living it? directing it?"

 

Go rent the movie "Forrest Gump"...watch the whole thing. Then ask this question again.

 

Making goals sounds nice on the surface but they can set you up for grave disappointment and feelings of failure if not met. Each of us is the architect of our own destiny and each must be true to himself in how he lives his life and sees it through to that end. "A good traveler has no particular destination and is not intent on arriving." -Zen saying.

 

[yes]

i would totally agree with u on a good day ...

 

but u know, once certain qns enter your head, it's hard to get them out ...

 

thanks for your comments though

in my opinion, relationships are a BONUS in life. you need to find happiness with yourself. i never understood why people try to figure out "why we're here" and "what our purpose is" . . . WHO CARES?!!! the fact is, we ARE here, so we need to take advantage of that, and just BE! don't get me wrong, it would be HORRIBLE to have no friends or others in our lives, but you'll enjoy those relationships MUCH more when you're happy with and ENJOY yourself!

 

[Tony T]

You have to do what works for YOU, not anyone else. If setting goals keeps you going, that's great. Many people, especially the Budhists, are extremely happy continually being "in the moment."

 

Others must have things to look forward to. I look forward to living each moment in the present...not worrying about the past...and not struggling towards something I may imagine could make me happy in the future.

 

A good book, "The Achilles Heel," discusses this very issue. You can probably find a copy in your public libarary and excerpts on the Internet.

[arthropod]

well, just like anything enjoyable in life, you do have to work for it. it's just finding that fine line of deciding when it's TOO MUCH work, you know?? there's just no such thing as a PERFECT relationship -- friends or lovers. it's a matter of weighing-out the good and bad points, and setting your own limitations of acceptance. definitely not easy doing that, but it makes things MUCH better after you find levels your comfortable with.

 

i'll tell you, i recently did some "friendship re-evaluations", and there's MANY of those people i no longer contact. and . . . i'm HAPPIER now!! i've got maybe 2-3 CLOSE friends, and i'm perfectly FINE with that. when people start taking advantage of you as a person, whether they're not giving equally in a relationship, or they only contact you when they're in NEED, that's when they need to go -- it makes life MUCH MORE enjoyable that way!!

 

hang in there, EVERYONE'S got their good and bad days . . . wouldn't appreciate the good ones so much if there wasn't some crap thrown in there too!!

i would totally agree with u on a good day ... but u know, once certain qns enter your head, it's hard to get them out ... thanks for your comments though

[Artlover]

I don't think the act of pursuing a dream is a small thing at all. Whether it materializes or not. Or if it does, even if it's not what you expected, it's an absolute blessing to have been able to try.

 

For me, being a storyteller is a HUGE part of who I am. Being an artist is a significant part of my identity. It's not just something I do to try to make money or become known to the world. It's a lifestyle choice. This brings me great joy. I also understand that MANY people let their dreams die and settle on a life that's less than fulfilling. I could make a very long list of people in my life (including mom) who lead bitter, painful existences, because they gave up on their fondest dreams years ago.

 

And what keeps me ok when I get a rejection letter (and I've gotten many---and a few acceptances)? My spiritual center. My strong belief that everything is always as it should be. My belief in a strong, powerful hand guiding me on my path.

 

YOU ASK: "don't you feel like you need a more global meaning? a goal? so u'r not floating thru yr life, but living it? directing it?"

 

Go rent the movie "Forrest Gump"...watch the whole thing. Then ask this question again.

 

Making goals sounds nice on the surface but they can set you up for grave disappointment and feelings of failure if not met. Each of us is the architect of our own destiny and each must be true to himself in how he lives his life and sees it through to that end. "A good traveler has no particular destination and is not intent on arriving." -Zen saying.

 

[shanti]

Artlover- I fully agree with all that you said in this post....... That´s exactly my view on life and our purpose here... I believe that everyone has a specific purpose here!!!

I don't think the act of pursuing a dream is a small thing at all. Whether it materializes or not. Or if it does, even if it's not what you expected, it's an absolute blessing to have been able to try. For me, being a storyteller is a HUGE part of who I am. Being an artist is a significant part of my identity. It's not just something I do to try to make money or become known to the world. It's a lifestyle choice. This brings me great joy. I also understand that MANY people let their dreams die and settle on a life that's less than fulfilling. I could make a very long list of people in my life (including mom) who lead bitter, painful existences, because they gave up on their fondest dreams years ago. And what keeps me ok when I get a rejection letter (and I've gotten many---and a few acceptances)? My spiritual center. My strong belief that everything is always as it should be. My belief in a strong, powerful hand guiding me on my path.

[yes]

u said: My belief in a strong, powerful hand guiding me on my path.

 

yeah, it's all easily explained if u'r at least a bit religious ...

 

but i am not ... i believe that there's something out there, but i dont believe it gives a damn abotu any of us ...

 

I don't think the act of pursuing a dream is a small thing at all. Whether it materializes or not. Or if it does, even if it's not what you expected, it's an absolute blessing to have been able to try. For me, being a storyteller is a HUGE part of who I am. Being an artist is a significant part of my identity. It's not just something I do to try to make money or become known to the world. It's a lifestyle choice. This brings me great joy. I also understand that MANY people let their dreams die and settle on a life that's less than fulfilling. I could make a very long list of people in my life (including mom) who lead bitter, painful existences, because they gave up on their fondest dreams years ago. And what keeps me ok when I get a rejection letter (and I've gotten many---and a few acceptances)? My spiritual center. My strong belief that everything is always as it should be. My belief in a strong, powerful hand guiding me on my path.