what did I do wrong?

[nicole]

Ok I broke up with my boyfriend about 8 months ago. Since then I have dated alot of guys. I counted about thirty that I can remember. Every one of these guys has screwed me over in one way or another. At first I took it personally and I would get depressed. But The past few months I've really stopped caring. I stooped caring because I new as soon as there gone I'll just find another one. But my problem now is that I don't trust any guy any more.

 

I've been dating this guy for about three weeks, I really like him and he was friends with some of my friends who all said he was a good guy. But he lives about three hours away from me. which really didn't seem like a problem to at first. Well The day after I met him he called me and asked me to come out and see him the following week. So I took a few days off of work. Afew days later he came out here to see me because I never called him to let him know when I was coming out there. He spent about 5 days here and everything was at the time. When I tried to call him about going out to see him he was really upset and said he call me later, but he didn't. So I never went out there. So I was some what depressed over this. Then he called after a few days to let me know that he was having some problems, but he called on a friday night and was just hanging out with a few of my guy friends. When I was triing to talk to him they starting yelling out stuff and he asked to call him the next day. When I did call him he was really short with me and said that he had some arrends to run and that hed call when he got out of work. But its three days later and he hasn't called. I'm getting really depressed over it. I can't stop thinking about him. Instead of me thinging that it is his loss like I usually do I keep wondering what I did wrong.

[marzipan75]

I don't think you did anything wrong. I think the problem lies with this guy. For whatever reason, maybe the three hour distance or maybe he's just a confused guy, he's the one having the problems right now, not you. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, it sounds like maybe he's having a hard time sorting out his feelings. I think you should refrain from calling him any more for now. If he wants to talk to you then he will call you. Also, maybe he's just nervous, I don't know how much you know about this guy but has he had much experience with girls? Maybe this is the reason he is tung tied when you try to talk to him.

 

At any rate, I know it's tough because you are feeling the sting of rejection but it's better that you know now what you may be getting yourself into. Does that make any sense? I dunno. I just think that you've let him know you're interested and you are not playing any games so for now just leave it at that. Don't call him again and if and when he calls you, be as short and direct with him as he was with you.

 

It sounds like he's giving you the run around and you don't need that. I know it's hard to cope with rejection but I think you can do it. Remember that it is his loss and not yours if he isn't catching on to you. Think about that. You say you've been out with plenty of other guys, so this should be no different.

 

If all else fails, try talking to your mutual friends discreetly to see if they know what's going on. If you don't have any more info after that, then just drop it and whatever you do, don't call him again. The ball is in his court now and it's up to him to get in touch with you. You've done your part now leave the rest to him.

 

I hope that helps, take care and try not to take it too hard.

 

marz

Ok I broke up with my boyfriend about 8 months ago. Since then I have dated alot of guys. I counted about thirty that I can remember. Every one of these guys has screwed me over in one way or another. At first I took it personally and I would get depressed. But The past few months I've really stopped caring. I stooped caring because I new as soon as there gone I'll just find another one. But my problem now is that I don't trust any guy any more. I've been dating this guy for about three weeks, I really like him and he was friends with some of my friends who all said he was a good guy. But he lives about three hours away from me. which really didn't seem like a problem to at first. Well The day after I met him he called me and asked me to come out and see him the following week. So I took a few days off of work. Afew days later he came out here to see me because I never called him to let him know when I was coming out there. He spent about 5 days here and everything was at the time. When I tried to call him about going out to see him he was really upset and said he call me later, but he didn't. So I never went out there. So I was some what depressed over this. Then he called after a few days to let me know that he was having some problems, but he called on a friday night and was just hanging out with a few of my guy friends. When I was triing to talk to him they starting yelling out stuff and he asked to call him the next day. When I did call him he was really short with me and said that he had some arrends to run and that hed call when he got out of work. But its three days later and he hasn't called. I'm getting really depressed over it. I can't stop thinking about him. Instead of me thinging that it is his loss like I usually do I keep wondering what I did wrong.