anon(female) Posted September 5, 2001 Share Posted September 5, 2001 Every relationship I get into doesn't ever work!!!!! I am an attractive person, well educated...but it just seems like after a couple of month's I get dumped. I have no problem getting a guy, but keeping one never works for me. I know I get attached really fast, maybe that scares them off?....maybe I am trying to rush things with all the wrong guys? I just feel so hurt and rejected.....just needed to vent.. thanks.... Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 5, 2001 Share Posted September 5, 2001 Could you be subconsciously sabotaging these relationships without even realizing it? What is different about your relationships two months down the road than in the beginning? After you are in a relationship for a while, do you become irritated easily...perhaps moody and overly critical? Bored and feeling a bit closterfobic? Or do you show signs of insecurity, maybe jealously that men may misinterpret as possesiveness? Sorry for all the questions...(and the spelling errors)...just can't give you any feedback without understanding exactly what's going on Every relationship I get into doesn't ever work!!!!! I am an attractive person, well educated...but it just seems like after a couple of month's I get dumped. I have no problem getting a guy, but keeping one never works for me. I know I get attached really fast, maybe that scares them off?....maybe I am trying to rush things with all the wrong guys? I just feel so hurt and rejected.....just needed to vent.. thanks.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lauren Posted September 5, 2001 Share Posted September 5, 2001 This is a vague question. I think a few more details are needed to give an intelligent response. Maybe you can explain how you get "attached" really fast. Are you possessive? Jealous? Want all of his time? Question his motives? Talk about a future for the two of you before establishing the two of you? There really are too many possibilities. I had some bad experiences in relationships that led me to failure. I learned from them. I dated the wrong guys - very simple. I had to find ways to stay away from that and date people truly worthy. That doesn't guarantee the outcome you want either. It is a tricky situation. Believe in yourself and look at your past relationships and what occurred. Remember what went well, focus on what didn't go well. You can only change the parts that you are not happy with. Every relationship I get into doesn't ever work!!!!! I am an attractive person, well educated...but it just seems like after a couple of month's I get dumped. I have no problem getting a guy, but keeping one never works for me. I know I get attached really fast, maybe that scares them off?....maybe I am trying to rush things with all the wrong guys? I just feel so hurt and rejected.....just needed to vent.. thanks.... Link to post Share on other sites
nicole Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 Ok This is the thing I have been through almost thirty guys in 8 months. At first it depressed me, but latly I don't care when I guy screws me over. I don't get easily attached, But I just started dating this guy that is really awesome. I thought that he really liked me so I put my guards done and I started to really like him. I havn't liked some one like this in a long time. But know theres something wrong and I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 7, 2001 Share Posted September 7, 2001 30 guys in 8 months?! (climbing back up into my chair...) I bet there are several women out there who would like to bitch-slap you silly for even complaining! But all kidding aside, Nichole, I don't necessarily think you are doing anything "wrong." It really depends on what you mean by "been through" thirty guys. Obviously 8 months doesn't give one enough time (given the number of men) to establish a *real* relationship with all of them. Therefore, I can only assume you have gone out on one or two dates with these men...mabey more with some than most. And *dating* is perfectly fine. Its harmless good fun and affords us an opportunity to find out whether or not there is potential for the friendship to develope into something more. It doesn't matter how many people you go out with so long as you keep everything in context. On a positive note, at least you've had a better opportunity than most to meet and spend time with MANY different people. And I'm sure this has helped you develope many positive social skills. You are probably lots of fun to be around and interact well with others. If, however, you have had this many sexual partners in one year, than I think perhaps you are not being selective enough about the men you choose to spend time with. If this is the case, then you'll have to look deeper inside yourself and try to figure out what void there is that you are aimlessly trying to fill with illusions of false intimacy. And let me point out; "intimacy" is not the same thing as "sex." And when we confuse the two, we can create a lot of confusion and pain for ourselves. What you are feeling is typical. There are always disappointments along the way when relationships don't develope in the direction we want...or when the people we care for and trust become suddenly dishonest and hurtful. But keep in mind you are dealing with human beings; the only living species cursed with an sense of *ego*--a complicated psyche that allows us, separate from all others, to experience *emotion*. Our awareness of *self* is so predominant, are intellect so unique, that we are also the only living creature that has the ability to lie and decieve for the sake of self-preservation...even if the only thing we are saving is our own stubborn pride! But given all our shameless flaws, we are still the only species with the ability to experience *love*. And its this one emotion that we dedicate our intire lives in the constant pursuit of. Go figure! Remember we are only human, Nichole. It's not a bad thing to let your "guard down" every now and than. You can't let the bad experiences shut you in and close you off. It goes against your very nature. You can file them away, and remember them as lessons for the future, but its unhealthy to keep recycling all the negative without considering any of the positive. That's when you begin building walls, walls that you think are invisible...but walls that other people can see and feel. Not only will they back away...but they will RUN...in preservation of their fragil little *egos*. There is nothing "wrong" about you. You are just what God intended you to be...HUMAN. Ok This is the thing I have been through almost thirty guys in 8 months. At first it depressed me, but latly I don't care when I guy screws me over. I don't get easily attached, But I just started dating this guy that is really awesome. I thought that he really liked me so I put my guards done and I started to really like him. I havn't liked some one like this in a long time. But know theres something wrong and I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts