How do i get over a girl who cheated? What should I have done instead?

[nice guy444]

I have told my story many times before but still I dont have any answers, and i am living with sadness and regret though i should not be. To make the story short i went out with this girl for about a year and a half and while at school she cheated on me with a kid i was quite good friends with. I dont know the particulars of the extent of the cheating because she used the "drunk" exuse. We then broke up she left me for this kid, then she came back a few months later and initiated an attempt to get back together with me. Ofcourse me missing her so much despite her mess up i took her back only to be cheated on again when she was away during the summer for vacation. The girl is totally different from the girl i knew, shes now materialistic, manipulative, ruthless, and never blames herself, and always tries to justify all the messed up things she does.

 

Its been months since we broke up or talked yet i still live with a lot of sadness, i havnt dated anyone since her. I also regret not making an example out of the first kid for the betrayal by him and her. I sometimes catch myself thinking the "what if i did this?" type thoughts. Like what if I kept a better eye on her and put my foot down? Why didnt i go and have a confrontation with this kid (though i am not a physical kid)? Why did i take her back? Honestly i regret not beating the crap out of this kid just so others would be aware to not take advantage of me like she did.

 

How do i start trusting people again after being betrayed by people who were the closest to me? How do other people get over someone they loved? Why do girls always tend to leave the nice guy who genuinly cares about them for the jerks who leave them after they use the girl?

 

How do i just forget this whole thing happened and just erase her from my mind and be able to move on?

[reservoirdog1]

Part of the problem -- or the whole problem -- is that you're still wallowing in sadness. You're obsessing over what could have been, rethinking how you should have approached the betrayal. And in doing so, you're blinding yourself to the fact that SHE BETRAYED YOU.

 

You need to grab onto that fact and use it to your advantage. You need to use it to GET ANGRY. She's a cheat who betrayed your trust. You deserved better, and she shyt all over you.

 

The reason I'm suggesting anger is that it can be therapeutic. Sadness is a killer -- it saps your energy and makes you want to crawl into a hole and die.

 

Anger, however, can be a motivator. It gets your heart pumping and makes you want to do things. The key is then to channel that anger into something positive and physical. Start hitting the gym. Take up a new sport, something competitive. Righteous indignation is your friend.

 

It's definitely not a cure-all. But revelling in the anger and channeling it helped me immeasurably during the bad periods after I went through something similar.

 

Hang in there...

[yawhatever]

In the last month I was in a very similar situation to yours, my gf of 4 years cheated on me with someone from her work that I also know and I got alot of helpful advice from people. I left her and told her what I think of her (bad things) to teach her a lesson.

 

Next what you want to do is clear your mind up by concentrating on positive things, and keep yourself busy, also meeting another woman really helps, it will cure almost everything.

 

Your asking your mind the wrong questions and its coming up with the wrong (negative) answers, just ask your mind positive things, like How can i get over this? How can I meet a good person?

 

Its not worth depressing over this one girl, best thing to do is get out there and start dating, I think 90% of women are no good, you have to date alot to get to that woman thats within the 10% that will suit you good.

[Cecelius]

How do i just forget this whole thing happened and just erase her from my mind and be able to move on?

 

My G/F was a loose, attention seeking, low self esteem tramp, nothing I did or could have done would have changed that.

 

My friend was not a friend.

 

I've learned ______________ about how to pick friends and g/fs in the future.

 

I have my pride, and that is more important that ANY woman.

 

 

Repeat the above over and over, work hard to fill in the blank. You will be fine. You don't need to trust anyone particularly if you do not need anything from them. Work on not needing anything from them and you will be fine with trusting them.