Love again

[peegee]

Hi im new to this froum but am impressed with some of the advise being given out hope in the future i can give some sound advice out, but for now i need it

 

Me and the gf split after 2 1/2 years together 6months living together, in the six months things were hard we relocated for a job she was offered i was inbetween jobs at the time so was easy for me.

 

November december were ok but we just seemed to be going through the motions still told each other we loved each other etc but not had sex for a few months due to her loosing her sex drive with constant woman pains(suspected edometriosis)

In january i was offered a job in the usa and it would mean us relocating from the uk se got all excited about it and even started to look at Uni in sandiago.

 

At the start of the relationship i caught her txting and phoning her ex (txt sex) she was gutted and devastated at the though of loosing me so she stopped and i have had no reason to doubt her since.

Untill just after i was offered the job she started acting strange around her phone being very protective just like last time. Second week in jan i confronted her about it she admited to it ( the guy is a jerk she only saw him for 3 weeks and then he dumped her) anyway she starts to say she is confused lost wants to run away from life etc, stressed with her job bein so far away from her dad ( he had been ill) then comes the crunch she says she loves me more than anythng in the world but she isnt in love with me!!!! and she needs some time on her own to sort her head out, i offered to move out for a while.

 

she has started going out lots drinking i think she just needed to get some stuff outof her system she is 23 im 30 we have allways said we were soul mates and best friends all our frineds and family were stunned when i told them we had split.

She has been on a online dating/friends site and been talking to guys she did something stupid by talking to someone who told her they knew me she said some lies to him etc she likes attention. but this guy sent me the chat logs and pics she sent and has since started beng an arse, next day when she found out i knew she sent me an email saying how sorry she was that she was bing stupid and that i meant the world and more to her and that she loved me, also later that day got 2 txts saying she loved me as well

 

Since moving out we have chatted on the phone and msn, i spent the weekend with her last week and it was fantastic slept in the same bed but no kissing or sex just cuddles, during convorsations she still says we, i helped her decorate the bathroom she said what color should we do it and i think we should do the kitchen next. we were in a store and saw those fluffy dogs that do back flips she said we should get the cat one that way we can se how she will react to US getting a kitten for her.

She has said to me that she loves bing with me and i make her so happy.

 

She has also said she still doesnt know what she wants she knows there are feelings for me but its not what she wants right now. Can i make her get the spark back if you were to see us together you would never know it had gone, when we are together though it is like we just met with those akward moments she admited to having these but didnt know what to make of them.

 

So what should i do im meeting her on sunday to help finish off the bathroom she is cooking dinner and im staying over, should i go for a no contact because i cant be friends withher at the moment evrytime i have to go back to where im living i feel like crap but when we are together we both feel amazing..can this be worked out ???

 

peegee

[CaliGuy]

She sounds a bit immature. I mean, she saw the other guy for three weeks and she was sex-texting him yet isn't having sex with you? I'm sorry but that's a huge red flag.

 

My question is what do you want? NC seems to be the best option for you as it seems from my perspective that you are slowing falling into the dreaded 'friends' zone.

 

You need to have a heart to heart talk with her. Explain what you expect out of the relationship and find out what she wants. If you can't agree on anything then perhaps it would be a good time to start breaking off contact.

 

The only way to work things out is through honest, open communication.

[peegee]

Yep you are right going the route of the friend, i have tried talking to her she just says she doesnt know what she wants about anything in her life at the moment, so im thinking NC for my own sanity!!!!!