boyfriend

[confused]

He started out with a great job, wonderful manners, and the best personality. I feel in love in no time. We enjoyed being around each other, to the point where we would make people sick, because we couldn't keep our eyes and hands off each other. After 18 months, when we moved in with each toher I started finding alot of internet porn, then I found out he had not received a college degree, then the next thing you know he doesn't have a steady job. What in the hell happened?? Dr Perfect to Mr Loser! I try to ask him why he can't start something without quitting, but he doesn't have the answers...it's been four years, I'm 28, and I am ready to start something with someone special; marriage, house, kids, etc. But nothing is happening because he still has issues. Am I fighting a losing battle?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Am I fighting a losing battle?"

 

Yes, at least in the long term. It sounds like he has some very serious emotional issues and perhaps a bit of depression. Maybe even a little Attention Deficit Disorder. He certainly mislead you in the beginning of your relationship which creates a trust issue for you. He doesn't sound like the ideal mate right now in any case.

 

You may be better served moving on because he is absolutely guilty of false advertising. I don't know what good a series of talks would do because he simply isn't motivated to change or improve anything about himself. He's not the person you fell in love with.

 

I can't believe you've stuck around this long. With the discover of the porn and all the lies, it seems like you would have headed for the door a very long time ago. You may just still be stuck in the fantasy of what you thought he was. Get yourself into reality now. It sucks!