Simons Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I think I should break NC and tell her how much i am hurt. This is my 5th month with NC and this lady is doing nothing!. She is not calling, no text msg, no IM, nothing!!. Well i am not gonna live with it and just assume things are ok. I need to tell her how she was so selfish just to break things over the phone and got into a relationship immediately. I need to tell how she treated me when i was her bf. I have tried to move on, but there is so much anger in me that is proving so hard to ignore. Please help me????, i am gonna loose my head. Link to post Share on other sites
destination_unknown Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 You have got this far, dont break now! If she has made no contact, is in a new relationship and is the one who ended it with you there is little point in contacting her. I dont know the circumstances, but it seems as though she just dropped you. I am pretty sure she knows what she did is wrong if that is the case. At best, you may get an apology from her, but do you think that will take your hurt away? Otherwise you will either get no reply, or she will try to validate what she did. What do you think she could say that would undo the hurt? Do you want her back. If she wanted you back she would contact you. I think it might be better to try to forgive her, understand that she probably didnt intentionally hurt you, even though it is blatantly obvious that dumping someone over the phone is very hurtful, and is clearly insensitive. If your angry work off your frustration by punching a punch bag at the gym or running yourself ragged. If you are sad try to distract yourself. She knows she hurt you. Venting your feelings to her will only hurt and frustrate you more. Maybe vent here or to a friend? With little info on how things ended its hard to tell, I am basing my reply on the assumption that you felt things were going well and she ended it with little explanation to you. If she didnt tell you why it is despicable, i think everyone deserves an explanation. Telling her how she hurt you can not do any good. Sorry you didnt get closure, I know how that feels and I know that it makes it so much harder to move on. Things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Still_In_Love Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Simons, It's all about respecting yourself! We all understand the frustration because we have all been there. It feels great to vent at her and tell her how you feel...at that moment, but the repercussions later will only let you down. If she hasn't called you, she probably doesn't care or want to think about what she did and if you contact her, you only disrespect yourself. Live above her! You deserve it. Keep to NC and forget about what she did. If she ever decides to revisit you, then tell her how she hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pipman Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Hi Simons. I m exactly in the same boat as you, and I have posted my problem here too. My ex left me after 7 months, although not long. I was very sickened how she ended our relationship and this was by email by the way. Well, she immediately went back on to the Dating site where we first met and started to date someone else. That sucks, I know, and believe me, I ve had nights on my own where I ve wanted to get on the phone and give her a piece of my mind. I spoke to my brother and he asked me if I wanted her back and I said yes. He replied that you will never get her back if you are full of anger and hatred. No one is attracted to that, and this will for sure push her away. The only thing he suggestted to be a friend to her. By the way this is what she wanted. `Us to be friends` People say I m a fool to accept that but it may be the difference in getting her back. If not then I m fine with that. At least I can stil talk to her on the phone and also text her for the time being. We dont know what will happen in the future and if her feelings will come back. The hurt does go away, and I m entitled to look for someone else. After all she dumped me and I certainly dont owe her a thing. Yes I ve read about this NC scenario. I have to say it works for some people and others it dont. I lasted 7 days and I cracked up inside. During that time my ex never phoned me or even texted me back. Of cours they are not obliged to. They don`t care about you anymore. They have another `love` in their lives. I ve had those thoughts of anger and rage in me too and even though along the lines of `what goes around, comes around`, and maybe she will get dumped. My piece of advice to you is to NOT think like this. I m suffering from sleepless nights and stress from this. There is light at the end of the tunnel and maybe I suggest you look for someone else that loves you for who you are. I dont know the full details why you split up, but I believe the basis of you problem is that you need closure and an explanation why the things went the way they did. The only way you can find out is to ask her but this does mean breaking NC. For me, well I found out that reduced contact is better. I m begging to find out from my ex why she left me, and this is 4-5 months after the break up and we are still talking. Some ex`s may not want to give you the answer though. They may not want to hurt you. Be prepared for that too. Link to post Share on other sites
fraidycat Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Hey- there is only way to keep from losing your head here- FORGIVENESS. You don't need to break NC with her to forgive her. Forgive her so you can let go and move on if you're having a difficult with that- seek God he'll help you with it and I know from experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Simons Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 This girl i was her first love. The day she accepted to be my gf, she cried and begged me not to break her heart. She was scared from what she was seeing her friend was going through after her break up. She was nice and truely we loved each other. I promised her i was never gonna hurt her. Now 4 years down the line, she dumps me over the phone. Don't i have a right to ask her why she is doing to me something she never wanted me to do to her?? Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 She doesn't care, and neither should you. Get a new girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I think I should break NC and tell her how much i am hurt. This is my 5th month with NC and this lady is doing nothing!. She is not calling, no text msg, no IM, nothing!!. Well i am not gonna live with it and just assume things are ok. I need to tell her how she was so selfish just to break things over the phone and got into a relationship immediately. I need to tell how she treated me when i was her bf. I have tried to move on, but there is so much anger in me that is proving so hard to ignore. Please help me????, i am gonna loose my head. Don't do it. It may make YOU feel better, but honestly, she won't care. Being in NC mode is good for you. Gives you time to grieve and get over the feelings you had for her. If you do contact her, you'll be opening yourself up to more pain. Especially if she brushes you off and tells you to leave her alone. Letting her know how you feel WILL fall on deaf ears. Write your feelings out, like in a letter or email. But do NOT send it. This is theraputic for you to get out those thoughts. You have every right to feel anger and hurt! So vent it out, either in a letter or here, just not to her. She won't react the way you want her to and if you have any expectations of her saying something to you, chances are it won't be what you want either. Keep busy, channel that anger and negative energy into something you love to do - Sports, or exercise. Join a gym if you need to, lift weights or go running, do boxing - Anything to get your mind off of her. Good luck and keep posting. (Oh and read nofoolin's thread in the coping section, called the long guided walk to no contact.) Link to post Share on other sites
orpheus Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I agree with WWIUP. Write down your thoughts and take this time to discover yourself. If you dwell on this you will never heal yourself and get stronger. NC is there to provide a healing period. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 NC is there to provide a healing period. Thanks for agreeing with me! You're so right, NC serves a purpose, so stick to it! It's for your own peace of mind and mental health. Hey O, Dispatches from the Isle of Lesbos That's funny! I like your signature. Link to post Share on other sites
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