Yamaha Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Your friend's reaction doesn't have anything to do with you really. He is feeling guilty and defenseless. This, in turn is allowing his sick mind to try to turn the tables on you for his inappropriate behavior. He is not your friend. I can understand if he apologized the next day (calling you) and saying OMG I did bad, as I had too much to drink.... but Noooooo .... he is putting the blame on everyone else but himself. Don't waste your time with him, there are alot of other people in the world that wouldn't backstab you twice within a few days time like this jerk. .......word..... His guilt has made him attack you rather than explain his actions. Either he apologizes to your wife and you or I would drop him as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 He deflected the blame, and put it on you...He went on the offensive so you wouldn't confront him about his perverted moves on your wife. I'm sure his wife is pissed at him, so she probably gave him the riot act - AND he probably expected a call from you at some point so he had that little noise maker speech ready to go. What an a**h***. Forget him, don't ever speak to him again UNLESS he calls and appologizes to both you and your wife. And he shows in ACTION how sorry he is, and that it will never happen again. I'm sure (if he has) his kids are SO proud of dear Papa! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 .......word..... His guilt has made him attack you rather than explain his actions. Either he apologizes to your wife and you or I would drop him as a friend. word! After dropping him as a friend, send him some asprin, adult diapers, and ensure as his bday gift. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Yes it is but we got almost $1,000 for it. $1000 from him or family becuase of his actions? Link to post Share on other sites
checker Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 but we got almost $1,000 for it. So who can complain to much. Im so glad I live in NYC. The hookers are much cheaper here. $1000 will get you full service for a week! Some men apparently never learned how to treat a lady like a lady. LOL. Yeah. Right. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 And some ladies apparently allow themselves to be treated that way... reread your *garder* story, Pad. Why would you let some guy other than your newlywed hubby do that *beep*? hit the nail on the head here. If in minnesota the tradition is to let a strange man near your wifes crotch and to take off clothing with his teeth then *makes note to never get married in/near minnesota* This does kinda explain why those kids from the mighty ducks movies were so wacky Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Im so glad I live in NYC. The hookers are much cheaper here. $1000 will get you full service for a week! Wow, you're awfully snappish. Yes, let's compare a bridal tradition with prostitution, shall we? How appropriate. There are traditions from other cultures that are much more offensive. Female genital mutilation comes to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Wow, you're awfully snappish. Yes, let's compare a bridal tradition with prostitution, shall we? How appropriate. There are traditions from other cultures that are much more offensive. Female genital mutilation comes to mind. Im sure he was joking, but I was kinda thinking the same thing...the tradition might be to have someone take off your garder, but I doubt that includes having your uncle rub his face on your crotch and lick you then give you $1000 bucks afterwards, and then on top of that to come and make comments about how other people dont know how to treat women, makes about as much sense as elton john watching baywatch Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Im sure he was joking, but I was kinda thinking the same thing...the tradition might be to have someone take off your garder, but I doubt that includes having your uncle rub his face on your crotch and lick you then give you $1000 bucks afterwards, and then on top of that to come and make comments about how other people dont know how to treat women, makes about as much sense as elton john watching baywatch I disagree. Coming from that background makes you keenly aware of the objectification of women, and the subsequent victimization. What you said above, seems silly to me. According to your statement, I have no right to complain about women being treated badly because I've been beaten up and spit on by a man I was involved with. Well, yes, it happened in the past, but I no longer tolerate it. I have no right to speak out against rape because I was raped. That is silly. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Im sure he was joking, but I was kinda thinking the same thing...the tradition might be to have someone take off your garder, but I doubt that includes having your uncle rub his face on your crotch and lick you then give you $1000 bucks afterwards, and then on top of that to come and make comments about how other people dont know how to treat women, makes about as much sense as elton john watching baywatch ... Absolutely right! This is the sort of thing I LOVE to read here. I still say that Pad *allowed* it to happen. She could have said "nope, keep your cash and your face away from my crotch, thank you." Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 No woman allows a man to sexually victimize her. to say anything to that affect is ridiculously offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 No woman allows a man to sexually victimize her. to say anything to that affect is ridiculously offensive. Uh... participating in some *tradition* that involves letting a man near her cooch is a form of *allowing*. I am not speaking of rape or any other violent form of sexual assault. She could have just declined to participate in it... she wasn't forced to do it, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 In the upper Midwestern states, a wedding reception traditions call for the best man to auction the garder intead of tossing it. The best man carries a hat around the reception site and the guests to put dollar bills in it. Someone acts as a auctioneer to count the money, and after time has elapsed, the best man gives the garder to the last person who put money into the hat. Like household games the rules can vary from wedding party to wedding party. House Rules.. Where I come from it is not uncommon for the person (man) who won the garder to remove the garder from the brides leg. Usually, with his hands. But in my case it was my uncle so everyone egged him on to remove it with his teeth. He was so drunk I think they did it to embarrass him when he was sober and watched to video tape. We do the normal stuff too like the dollar dance, all those goofy line dances (chicken dance, etc.) shot bottle, wedding party dance, father and bride dance. etc etc.. Minnesota isn't that weird.. We aren't a bunch of inbreeds with no brains or morals. Its all in fun.. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 In the upper Midwestern states, a wedding reception traditions call for the best man to auction the garder intead of tossing it. The best man carries a hat around the reception site and the guests to put dollar bills in it. Someone acts as a auctioneer to count the money, and after time has elapsed, the best man gives the garder to the last person who put money into the hat. Like household games the rules can vary from wedding party to wedding party. House Rules.. Where I come from it is not uncommon for the person (man) who won the garder to remove the garder from the brides leg. Usually, with his hands. But in my case it was my uncle so everyone egged him on to remove it with his teeth. He was so drunk I think they did it to embarrass him when he was sober and watched to video tape. We do the normal stuff too like the dollar dance, all those goofy line dances (chicken dance, etc.) shot bottle, wedding party dance, father and bride dance. etc etc.. Minnesota isn't that weird.. We aren't a bunch of inbreeds with no brains or morals. Its all in fun.. The point is that if you were uncomfortable with doing it the way the family wanted it done you could have simply declined. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onlyhuman Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks for all the replies. After a night dwelling on this I'm still of the opinion not to pursue this friendship.As some one mentioned two guys can usually beat the crap out of each other ,make up and all is forgotten. When someone grabs your wifes ass and then in anger threatens to try to upset your wife, thats it. I have nothing in my past that could be upsetting to my wife but thats not really the point is it!When you target a family member for vengenance, thats low and down right evil. I have heard of marriages taking a turn because of bad rumours and gossip, I could never trust this guy as a friend again. The more I think about this the more it angers me that someone could turn so bad and be such a prick. My guess,his wife reamed him, he's having issues with the 50 thing and his true colours came out,what a goof. Have a good weekend and a gain thanks for the input. Link to post Share on other sites
checker Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 No woman allows a man to sexually victimize her. to say anything to that affect is ridiculously offensive. I think people do allow themselves to be victimized. Out of weakness. Out of not having high enough self respect and esteem. Sorry for the comment being offensive to you. I of course don't say it for that reason. As for the hooker comment, well, I was just taken aback by the "oh but I can't complain, I got a thousand bucks." That to me is a pathetic comment, and it just makes it really hard for me to feel sympathy. She's justifying it even now! She's letting it happen. Its exactly the weakness, the lack of self value that I'm talking about. Edit: On a more general note, too many people don't stand up for themselves enough. Just for the fear of what people will think. For the fear of causing a few waves, a little confrontation. It seems like they are so desperate to not have anyone dislike them that they let themselves get walked all over. I think that is reflective of the self worth thing. Link to post Share on other sites
PerryMason Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I wonder what is so bad you did in your past that he is trying to blackmail you with... Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 I disagree. Coming from that background makes you keenly aware of the objectification of women, and the subsequent victimization. So then the excuse of allowing it to happen cuz you were "treated bad" flies right out the window, exactly . According to your statement, I have no right to complain about women being treated badly because I've been beaten up and spit on by a man I was involved with.Well, yes, it happened in the past, but I no longer tolerate it. I have no right to speak out against rape because I was raped. That is silly. So, now we've gone from grabbing ass/being groped on your wedding day, to rape? No thanks, that wasn't what I was talking about. She was making a jip about how "some men dont know how to treat women" well, in addition, some women dont know how to speak up and say No. Does this apply to rape? um no not usually, does it appy to the current situation? yes, and doesnt it go both ways as well? How can men ever learn whats wrong if women allow it to happen without speaking up? Did she talk to her uncle? or at ALL let him know the situation was wrong? or just laugh at off? Thats why its funny to me, talk about men not treating women right, yet by LETTING it happen you contribute to it, bottom line. To which I say? if youre gonna let men feel you up etc. and not say anything? youre damn right you dont have the right to complain , or make comments about other people. What you did by bringing in rape is like comparing murder to burglarly. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 In the upper Midwestern states, a wedding reception traditions call for the best man to auction the garder intead of tossing it. please dont generalize, i know people who live in upper midwestern states and they dont do anything like that at all. Plus, who would want someone other than their husband groping them on their wedding day? I mean what if the tradition was to drown babies? would you do that to? You say its all in fun, but the situation you described was NOT fun. I'm sure the tradition itself is fine, but the way it was handled at your wedding wasnt, you flat out implied you were uncomfy with the situation so its obviously true.(altho to me, any man who is willing to let another man grope his wife on their wedding day, is no man at all. Whether that man is her uncle, friend, dog, father,etc) Link to post Share on other sites
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