The Perfect man

[Reader]

This story is from iMail. It's an intersting read....

 

Two months after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother still buys his favourite foods for him and burns joss sticks daily to pay tribute to the man she was married to for almost 60 years. My grandfathers, like many people of their generation, did not fall in love the way the lovers did in Titanic or Casablanca. In their day, a girl simply married when she was the right age. Marriage was a rite of passage, and the vows " for better or for worse" meant nothing.

 

My grandmorther was married at 20, and had five children by the time she was 30. She learned to run a house, to endure my grandfather's fiery temper, and to handle a gaggle of young kids when she was only a little older than I am now. There was a time when I would have called women like my grandmother a wallflower. Why marry at such a young age and lock yourself in? why not

 

wait longer so you have the better pick of the crop? But now that number of my old high-school classmates are exchanging wedding rings, I have become somewhat envious. And i know what the problem is- young women these days are just too picky and practical

 

A gf has a checklist of musts that her future husband needs to fulfill. He ust speak 3 languages so that their children will all be multing langual, he must have at least a master's degree or, even better, a doctorate, must play at least two sports, must be funny, be patient,play chess, and have a job with a large salary. To give her credit, the list has come down considerably since her 21st birthday, but now that Prince charming hasn't arrived she's gone to the Internet to search for her model man. My gf are all smart, intelligent, hard working, and ambitious. We've grown accustomed to spending long hours at work because it's what we're passionate about, and besides, we wanted to prove that we weren't like our grandmothers and wouldn't just settle down. We want the perfect man who has a great job, a great salary, and great looks. We are greedy, we want it all.

 

The problem of over expectation is especially severe. In the city many girls are waiting for a man with good looking and very rich. A friend who works at a bank flirts with guys with the biggest bank accounts, and another will only date a man who fits her high standards, meaning that he must already own a house and a vehicle. But time is ticking away. She's 28 and feels the heat.

 

It's a shame that the standards for dating and marriage are now being dictated by dollar signs and practicality versus love and responsiblity. This explains statistics that women who are well educated usually marry at a later age than women whose edcuation ended at the high-school level.

 

City girls need to get real. For guys, which means that there's need for concern, since the guys with the big bank accounts are heading over the border to find women who are prettier, younger and have lower expecations. Why must we marry the man with the Mercedes and six-figure salary when we ourselves can attain such wealth with hard work and brains? Dollar signs and penthouses should be separate from romance and love.

 

I think of this more and more often as I watch my grandmother mourn my grandfather's passing. After 60 years under the same roof with him, half of her is missing.My grandfather wasn't perfect, was as stubborn as an ox, and had a temper as predictable as the typhoon. When they married he was only 25 and didn't have much in the bank and certainly didn't have materialistic comforts that most women require now. However, they managed to stick together through good times and bad. Isn't that what wedding vows are really about?

 

So I have burned the questionnaire and the laundry list of musts. It's time to open the doors wide and not miss out on what my grandmother had.

 

AW is a features writer for imail

[Surfer guy]

Hey, I'm sorry to say this but there is no such thing as "the perfect man"! There is no man that has all of that. Plus, a man could have all of that, but still treat his woman like something that just taggs along with him. And you don't want to be treated like that do you? If you really want a good man, then stop being materialistic. Because a man that has all of that is more likely to end up being a playboy and you may end up just getting your heart broken. My definition of a good man is one who is good from his heart, not from his wallet. But if that's what you want, go for it!!!

 

 

 

This story is from iMail. It's an intersting read.... Two months after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother still buys his favourite foods for him and burns joss sticks daily to pay tribute to the man she was married to for almost 60 years. My grandfathers, like many people of their generation, did not fall in love the way the lovers did in Titanic or Casablanca. In their day, a girl simply married when she was the right age. Marriage was a rite of passage, and the vows " for better or for worse" meant nothing. My grandmorther was married at 20, and had five children by the time she was 30. She learned to run a house, to endure my grandfather's fiery temper, and to handle a gaggle of young kids when she was only a little older than I am now. There was a time when I would have called women like my grandmother a wallflower. Why marry at such a young age and lock yourself in? why not wait longer so you have the better pick of the crop? But now that number of my old high-school classmates are exchanging wedding rings, I have become somewhat envious. And i know what the problem is- young women these days are just too picky and practical A gf has a checklist of musts that her future husband needs to fulfill. He ust speak 3 languages so that their children will all be multing langual, he must have at least a master's degree or, even better, a doctorate, must play at least two sports, must be funny, be patient,play chess, and have a job with a large salary. To give her credit, the list has come down considerably since her 21st birthday, but now that Prince charming hasn't arrived she's gone to the Internet to search for her model man. My gf are all smart, intelligent, hard working, and ambitious. We've grown accustomed to spending long hours at work because it's what we're passionate about, and besides, we wanted to prove that we weren't like our grandmothers and wouldn't just settle down. We want the perfect man who has a great job, a great salary, and great looks. We are greedy, we want it all. The problem of over expectation is especially severe. In the city many girls are waiting for a man with good looking and very rich. A friend who works at a bank flirts with guys with the biggest bank accounts, and another will only date a man who fits her high standards, meaning that he must already own a house and a vehicle. But time is ticking away. She's 28 and feels the heat.

 

It's a shame that the standards for dating and marriage are now being dictated by dollar signs and practicality versus love and responsiblity. This explains statistics that women who are well educated usually marry at a later age than women whose edcuation ended at the high-school level.

 

City girls need to get real. For guys, which means that there's need for concern, since the guys with the big bank accounts are heading over the border to find women who are prettier, younger and have lower expecations. Why must we marry the man with the Mercedes and six-figure salary when we ourselves can attain such wealth with hard work and brains? Dollar signs and penthouses should be separate from romance and love. I think of this more and more often as I watch my grandmother mourn my grandfather's passing. After 60 years under the same roof with him, half of her is missing.My grandfather wasn't perfect, was as stubborn as an ox, and had a temper as predictable as the typhoon. When they married he was only 25 and didn't have much in the bank and certainly didn't have materialistic comforts that most women require now. However, they managed to stick together through good times and bad. Isn't that what wedding vows are really about?

 

So I have burned the questionnaire and the laundry list of musts. It's time to open the doors wide and not miss out on what my grandmother had.

 

AW is a features writer for imail

[Ed]

Hello Reader,

 

Many of us, both men and women, are, or have been caught up in the ideals you describe. I think all of us, at some time, have longed for our lives to be simplistic and, sometimes, prearranged. It would seem to be a lot easier that way and in many aspects it is. But despite it's possible advantages, there are also disadvantages.

 

Most people of this day and time are not willing to give up the freedom of choice that has been afforded them by today's modern societies. These days, just about everyone is out there looking for the best deal they can get. The best combination of looks, love and money.

 

In many ways, this is no different than the way things have always been. The biggest difference being, "who is making the decisions?". Is it the individual or is it someone else? In some societies, the elders make the decisions on who will be coupled to who, based on a number of factors, not the least of which are lineage, beauty and wealth. But even when relationships are not dictated by elders, many people carry on this same kind of traditional, selective process, using these same factors to choose a mate.

 

No matter who is making the choice, the chosen one is attractive in some way or another, depending on which factors are given the highest priority in the selection process and why. There is no way around it. We all operate this way.

 

There is no need to long for the "old days" when things seemed to be much simpler. In general, the more freedom we have in choosing our mates, the happier we will be. But we must all be very careful and deliberate of who we choose and why.