CaliGuy Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 The ex's mom emailed the ex because she knows what I do for a living (the ex's mom) and asked the Ex if it was OK to talk to me. Here's what she said to her. I think he still likes to talk to us all.... his # is (###) ###-#### if my memory serves me right.... He loves to help people and I think he can definitely give you some solid advice! Gooooooooooooooood luck and keep me updated on the job, how great! (P.S. His birthday was Feb 21st, you could wish him a belated bday, ask him what he did etc, if you're looking for small talk) Ok, WTF? She tells her mom to make small talk about my birthday but she didn't say a word to me when it came and went. What a bitch! I shouldn't be angry, but I am and don't even know why. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 hey cali. how do you know all this? did your ex's mom actually forward you the email? that is kind of screwy. why is she contacting you anyway? whatever it is you do , i'm sure she can find someone else to do it, without disturbing your peace. not that you aren't great at what you do, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 am thinking that Cali has access to her email! No one would be that dumb to forward a mail like that, especially her mum! Tell all Cali! Ps Happy Belated Birthday! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 She bcc'd me her reply to her and I think she forgot to take that out. I don't have access to her email or I'd probably be a wreck. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 am thinking that Cali has access to her email! no way! i shan't believe that cali, king of NC, would stoop to snooping. No one would be that dumb to forward a mail like that, especially her mum! although you do have a point here...too weird. Edited to add: yup. but that's still pretty f*cked up. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 You are really not over this girl at all are you honey! It makes the way you continue with the NC so much more to be proud of! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 no way! i shan't believe that cali, king of NC, would stoop to snooping. Not my cup o'tea. Edited to add: yup. but that's still pretty f*cked up. She knew when my birthday was. She has a pretty darn good memory so I knew she didn't forget it. All it tells me is what I already know, she doesn't care about me anymore. I shouldn't care about this either and I should be moved on but honestly, a part of me is very, very angry at her for acknowleding my birthday and basically admitted she ignored it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 You are really not over this girl at all are you honey! It makes the way you continue with the NC so much more to be proud of! No, I am far, far from over her. Never felt that way about anyone before in my life. However, given how coldly she treated me throughout the relationship and after, I often have to slap myself into reality wondering how I could care so much for someone who obviously never gave a damn about me. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtbeyondwords Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I know how much it sucks when something like this comes up when you least expect it. I am not happy that it bugs you Cali, but I do appreciate that someone as strong as you can feel the same as I do sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I shouldn't be angry, but I am and don't even know why. I don't know either.. You guys are broken up and no longer together.. I think she bcc'd you on purpose and wrote that stuff on purpose.. She was trying to evoke a reaction... She got one... Link to post Share on other sites
pandnh4 Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 She bcc'd me her reply to her and I think she forgot to take that out. I don't have access to her email or I'd probably be a wreck. on a more positive note, perhaps she intentionally meant to bcc you... although you may not want to hear this, perhaps it was a way of saying that she does still care... she did still remember your number and birthday, just maybe nc has pushed her away and she felt it wouldn't be right to break it on her side... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 FARK! Now SHE just emailed me! "= ) Got a 90 day bonus!!! = ) And heads up, my mom might call you tonight for potential job advice...... Hope all is well." Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 I don't know either.. You guys are broken up and no longer together.. I think she bcc'd you on purpose and wrote that stuff on purpose.. She was trying to evoke a reaction... She got one... You guys misunderstand. HER MOM bcc'd me in her reply to the Ex. The ex NEVER intended me to see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 You guys misunderstand. HER MOM bcc'd me in her reply to the Ex. The ex NEVER intended me to see it. Ahh.... Still holds true then.. Her Mom wanted you to see what she wrote.. A bcc is very deliberate.. it isn't like she hit it by accident Link to post Share on other sites
pandnh4 Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 then maybe her mom still has hope for you two... or maybe it she put her mom up to it to see what kind of reaction you would have... you know, sort of a *feeler* before she emailed you herself... conspiracy, conspiracy... how long has it been now since the breakup? what about total/partial nc? Link to post Share on other sites
justhavetoletgo Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 that is F**ked up ****. I don't know the whole story but it sounds pretty weird. Does the mom still talk to you? or she was giving you advice or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 I know how much it sucks when something like this comes up when you least expect it. I am not happy that it bugs you Cali, but I do appreciate that someone as strong as you can feel the same as I do sometimes. I know I am come off sometimes as a 'cold machine' in regards to NC and being skeptical. It's just my reactive survival mechanism kicking in telling me that I have to do something to stop the pain. That's why my advice sometimes comes off that way, but as someone who is in great pain and experienced the kind of heartbreak I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. So even though sometimes I appear strong on the outside, there is a piece of me that is in dire pain. It's less and less each week but still, the pain is there and it's very real. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 The fact that you just got your Christmas gifts from the Ex's parents recently and now this BCC email shows me that her Mom is up to something.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 then maybe her mom still has hope for you two... or maybe it she put her mom up to it to see what kind of reaction you would have... you know, sort of a *feeler* before she emailed you herself... conspiracy, conspiracy... how long has it been now since the breakup? what about total/partial nc? Her mom loves me and actually said to me that she was 'very sorry' that I was not going to be her son-in-law. I have tried to cut her family out of my life but it's hard. In fact, I hadn't talked to her mom in several weeks before she emailed me today. I don't think she did this maliciously. I don't even think she thought about it before bcc-ing me. However, she knows now when I sent my reply. But, if you read the thread, my ex did just email me all giddy about her 90 day bonus...and as much as I want to reply and tell her to "FECK OFF", I'm not. Her life is great. New job I helped her get, new place on her own (finally), new boyfriend she really likes, some new friends, etc. In the meantime, my mom died and she left me within weeks of each other, my business is doing ok but not as well as it could, etc. I mean, my life is good but still feels empty without her. And to hear her life is going great without me stings. A lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I mean, my life is good but still feels empty without her. Clear..... Zap... Clear.... Zap... Don't go there.. quit the stinking thinking Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 The fact that you just got your Christmas gifts from the Ex's parents recently and now this BCC email shows me that her Mom is up to something.. Liiiiiike? PS: She emailed me today only after encouragement from the HR Director who said something like "I'm sure ***** would love to hear about this." Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Clear..... Zap... Clear.... Zap... Don't go there.. quit the stinking thinking Art that has been my biggest struggle. Granted, it was I who chose to make her such a huge part of my life. I still have a hard time dealing with her being gone. It's my fault I know that. And I realize I have to deal with this. I don't want to reply to her email though. Not emailing me a birthday greeting and knowing she knew and purposely ignored it pisses me off. Ignoring her 'chipper' email is the best thing I can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Liiiiiike? PS: She emailed me today only after encouragement from the HR Director who said something like "I'm sure ***** would love to hear about this." Email the Mom back a reply and feel her out as to why .. I think that she is just being a Mom and likes you.. So she is pushing for you.. On a side note : I have noticed that for someone who people claim is the NC god that you break NC a whole lot.. Either thru her parents .. or email.. or text messages.. Just a note.. Not critizism.. I think you like the contact and that is why you are not healing.. If your Ex didn't have another maybe you might be back together.. but she does. So you need to reconcile that fact and make that family a part of your past and not part of your future.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Email the Mom back a reply and feel her out as to why .. I think that she is just being a Mom and likes you.. So she is pushing for you.. On a side note : I have noticed that for someone who people claim is the NC god that you break NC a whole lot.. Either thru her parents .. or email.. or text messages.. Just a note.. Not critizism.. I think you like the contact and that is why you are not healing.. If your Ex didn't have another maybe you might be back together.. but she does. So you need to reconcile that fact and make that family a part of your past and not part of your future.. I don't like the contact, I really don't because all it does is reopen wounds. This is why I am so high and mighty towards NC. What I do as a living, well, a lot of people seek me out for advice. I am in no way seeking out the Ex's family or trying to maintain contact. How I feel right now - anger and disappointment - is why I know NC is the best option. Had she not emailed me and started this whole thing I would be feeling a lot better. She was in my dreams earlier in the week so I was already feeling down. This was the kick in the nuts I just didn't need. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Oh, That sucks. For me, the worst part of the email would have been: keep me updated on the job More so than the birthday part... What can you do, sorry about the injuries, Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
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